I am though going to share with you my list of reasons to start wondering if warmer climates are the answer. When I say warm I guess I mean 32+ day after day and so humid.. well I think most of us know how we feel... so here in no particular order are my observations as to why I am getting a little fed up with the weather:
- Everyone moaning about it - me included (generally at 9.30am when I hit the office)
- Walking at my usual speed means I end up dripping - it's slowing me down and isn't attractive.
- Pavements sticky
- Rubbish/litter seems more prevalent
- Street odours (what are those smells?)
- British definition of air con - erm so what's that then?!
- Fans. The noise. The blowing of papers everywhere. People not switching them off when they LEAVE the office
- Dried out contact lenses
- Puffy eyes
- Lack of sleep
- Non-environmentally friendly Air Con units (which don't actually achieve anything)
- Head feels like wrapped in a blanket
- Packed tubes.
- Tubes/trains not running - too hot; lines buckled, track side fires, faulty comms/signals
- Journey home seems to take HOURS!
- Body odours
- Sudden hunger pains at 11am
- Drinking more water than my toilet uses most days (ok except this morning)
- Feeling bloated by so much water drinking
- Needing to pee more than usual. Phyiscal effort to keep walking to loo.
- Long hair. It goes frizzy. Dries out. It's too hot to wear it down.
- Sandals. Designed to rub and hurt.
- Break sandals in - wear frequently - get crushed toes every morning on tube
- Toe nails - need varnishing once a week or more often if crushed that morning on tube.
- Sandals. People standing on the backs of them whilst you walk. GET OFF MY SANDALS YOU NIMROD!
- Skirts. No air con. Sticky legs.
- Legs. Armpits. Everyday is a lady shave day. Or an epilate or a weekly wax. Joy.
- Facial hair. Seems to grow twice as fast in the sun. And over night.
- Sun cream. Everyday. Facial skin looks oily and frankly c***
- Drought.
- People watering gardens when sun still out and with a watering can spray head on. Or hose out of kitchen window...
- Threatened power cuts
- Missing the storms. Storms by-passing where I am. I wanna hear the rain and feel the air being cleared.
- Office. No air con. AND now electric circuit breakers on over load. If they go for good, 3 weeks to repair. So please turn off all non-essential equipment. I am now confused. Air con? Essential?
- Water chillers not designed for frequent use to dispense chilled water beyond a glass at a time.
- Bar-b-q's. The smell of cheap throw away ones being lit in small gardens. Rank smoke billowing in through windows.
- Open windows. Paranoia that not shut when I leave the house.
- People's dress sense. The sun re-defines bad taste decisions.
- Fake tan. Yes it looks ok - but it goes weird at the ankles and my hands look like I smoke with the ciggy poised between every set of fingers at least once. I have nicotine (fake tan) stained palms?!
- Fake tan. Red face. Mmm. That's my body rebelling against the oppressive heat in the office. I vasodialate til I'm red in the face.
- Grumpiness. Listlessness
- *Men in shorts. (Not all I confess, but the majority) Oh and not being able to say to blokes in shorts 'woooh so you do have legs...'
- Or women for that matter in those tailored ones. With tights underneath and high heels. How? Why?
- Growing fear we will all be frazzled alive. The end is nigh etc etc.
- And this. Me still being awake at 11.30pm cos it's still warm. I NEED MY SLEEP!!!!
Ah.
Glad I got that off my chest.
9 comments:
wear gloves when you out your fake tan on. Boots sells them - the tight ones like they use on CSI all the time.
not sure I want practical comments!! tight gloves.. then the toop part of my hands will look pale?! Any suggestions for that?!
Or should I just wear forensic gloves anyway? Why not marigolds?!!
my friend says it has to be those ones. Pale hands might be better than those strange nicotine palms we have all been wondering about but have been too polite to say anything about.
I do not think being rubbed by someone wearing Marigolds but would be very nice.
Are you saying I need someone else to wear the gloves? And then they wear the tight-casualty-come-in-all-sizes gloves?
I'm not sure I know many polite people - they all tend to tell me exactly what they think - of me - but not necessarily how they feel about me...
oh dear I feel a heavy dose of EPO being required...
why do you separate thinking and feeling? When someone tells you what they think of you they are telling you what they feel about you, aren't they?
Ah... Light shed on the assumed excessive smoking... not so... appears inexpert use of tanning products... sense at last... gloves preferable... recommend latex surgical gloves... either Boots or ram-raid an A&E... Mix tanning products with standard body-cream when applying around joins and other "gathering" places...i.e. thinning effect of tan lotion...do not apply when body is perspiring at all... causes runs and gathering in creases around ankles... elbows... knees... etc...
just to say I have given up with fake tan... for now!! I think I prefer those extra 3 minutes in bed each morning....!! plus my face looked odd! OKAY MORE ODD!!!
but are you still persisting in believing in the dichotomy of thinking and feeling
yes I will no doubt continue to do so until I can be sure that the feelings I have are okay to share with people.
My thinking can be shared.
How I deep down feel about people is something else entirely... long train journeys make you see things in a different way...
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