Monday, December 31, 2007
Looking for Adventure
No one knows more about Old Father Time and Baby New Year than you do, since your Zodiac sign is the one in the heavens every time the old year ends and the new one begins. It's fair to say you have a better idea of the ins and outs of endings and beginnings than most people do. On Monday the Moon in Libra squares the Sun in Capricorn in your sector of self and you decide to welcome in 2008 by changing something about your appearance that you aren't happy with. Just be sure that you aren't being overly self-critical, since in all likelihood your appearance is fine as it is. Still, you may want to upgrade with some new wardrobe accessories or try a new hair color or style. On Sunday the Sun in Capricorn sextiles inventive Uranus and you'll want to explore a lot more of the world than you have up to now. Your adventurous side will be activated and you won't be content to simply coast through your daily activities or life in general. You want to have fun and new experiences and savor all that the world has to offer.
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Gillingham 3 - Notts Forest 0
Hooray! At last. A win. A decent game.
I left the house in a tired and grumpy mood. My flu/cold still rasping in the background. Managed to catch train from Balham - carrying an empty suitcase well it did have my composter in it. Suitcase? Why - well to bring back some of the bottles of wine my Pa and Mike bought back from France for me. Really just wanted to stay put. But if I had.. well would have missed the most topsy turvy result in the divison - well apart from Leeds getting beat by Swansea!! Brillant atmosphere and great goals. Oli played really well, Twiglet started and King in defence is at last finding his feet. Walked back to car with Pa - cold forgotten, bad mood forgotten - home for beer and fodder!
Good result - good weekend!
Gillingham: Royce, Southall, Bygrave, King, Nutter, Bentley, Miller, Crofts, Oli (Cogan 43), Facey, Mulligan (Griffiths 69).Subs Not Used: Armstrong, Stone, Stillie.
Booked: Bentley, Crofts.
Goals: Mulligan 49, Miller 61, Griffiths 81.
Nottm Forest: Smith, Chambers, Morgan, Breckin, Wilson, McGugan (Thornhill 66), Commons, Cohen, Clingan, Holt, Agogo.Subs Not Used: Lockwood, Perch, Lennon, Roberts.
Att: 7,712 Ref: Ray Lee (Essex).
Booked: Bentley, Crofts.
Goals: Mulligan 49, Miller 61, Griffiths 81.
Nottm Forest: Smith, Chambers, Morgan, Breckin, Wilson, McGugan (Thornhill 66), Commons, Cohen, Clingan, Holt, Agogo.Subs Not Used: Lockwood, Perch, Lennon, Roberts.
Att: 7,712 Ref: Ray Lee (Essex).
Friday, December 28, 2007
Myths About Being Single
According to Bella DePaulo, Ph.D.
"Have you heard that single people are miserable and lonely and die alone in their empty flats where they are eaten by their cats? That’s what I heard, too. So I set out to discover the truth of these matters. Guess what? It is not just the cat thing that’s a myth. All of those insulting claims about the pitiful lives of single people are wrong, wrong, wrong! Here’s a rundown of the myths I found while looking at the reality of being unattached today.
Myth 1: Marriage will make you happy
Boo-hoo, poor you! That’s what friends and family sometimes think of people who are single. They are so wrong! First, most single people are not miserable, not even close. On the average, single people are always on the happy end of the scale; that’s true in every study I know of. Second, getting married hardly changes someone’s happiness at all. Some married people experience a tiny blip in happiness around the time of the wedding. (On an 11-point scale, they are about one-quarter of one point happier.) But that is just a honeymoon effect. They soon go back to being as happy or as unhappy as they were when they were single. What’s more, only some married people enjoy the honeymoon effect. People who marry and later divorce actually start getting a bit less happy, not happier, as their wedding day approaches.
Myth 2: Single people are lonely
Sometimes people say that single people are “alone,” that they “don’t have anyone.” But that’s just a myth. Research shows that single people often have many people in their lives that are important to them. Often, they have a whole network of friends and relatives, and they stay connected with them for decades. After all, they have the time to forge many diverse relationships, which married sorts don’t.
Myth 3: Old women are especially lonely
Older women, in particular, are often painted as isolated spinsters, but in one study of 50 women who had always been single, 49 of them had close friends and usually they were in touch with those friends every single day. Sixteen of their friendships had lasted more than 40 years.
Myth 4: Single people don’t live as long as married people
A serious, intellectual magazine recently printed a story with this headline: “Marry or die.” Seriously. Even the most prestigious publications can get their headlines all wrong when it comes to stories about people who are single. That magazine article ignored the longest-running study of longevity on record. That study started in 1921, with more than 1,000 eleven year-olds. Scientists have kept track of these people for as long as they lived. The people who lived the longest were those who stayed single and those who married and stayed married. People who divorced, or who divorced and remarried, had shorter lives. It was consistency, not marriage, that mattered, and the results were the same for men and women.
Myth 5: Single people are self-centred
Married people are supposedly the ones who reach out to other people and keep families and neighbourhoods connected. That’s the story we hear, but it is not what’s really true. National surveys show that single people are more likely to visit, support, contact, and advise their siblings and parents than married or even previously married people. Singles are also more likely to encourage, help, and socialise with their neighbours and friends.
Myth 6: The children of single parents are doomed to lives of failure, drug addiction, and delinquency
These days, forecasts of doom and gloom are often aimed at children who are raised by single parents. To hear the commentators talk about it, you would think that only children raised by two married biological parents have a decent shot at a good, healthy, successful life. In my research, though, I was struck by just how overstated those claims actually are. One example comes from the results of a National Drug Abuse Survey, a study of substance-abuse among 12- to 17-year olds. The children of single mothers had low rates of abuse, under 6 percent. And those rates were just 1.2 percent higher than the rates of the children living with married biological parents. What’s more, two-parent married households did not always have kids with the lowest rates of substance abuse. Teens living with a father and stepmother, for example, had higher rates of substance abuse than teens raised by single mothers.
Myth 7: Single people are not as healthy as people who get married
Think singletons live an unhealthy life of vice, partying up a storm and eating junk food rather than healthy home cooked meals? That’s not what the research says. Typically, people who have always been single are very similar in their health to people who are currently married. There is, though, one exception where single people are actually healthier than attached types: Married people are more overweight! As for divorce, some research actually shows that people become healthier after they divorce than they were when they were married.
Myth 8: Single people waste money on frivolous things for themselves
So you think that singletons splurge and married’s conserve? If so, then I have just one question for you: Do you know how much weddings cost? Even after the big splash, maybe you thought married folks save up, spend conservatively, and are occasionally called upon to support the more spendthrift single drifters in their clan who racked up credit card debt on fancy shopping sprees and holidays...not so. Coupled-up sorts are no more generous than single people when it comes to giving financial help to family members. As for friends, it is the single people who are there for them. In fact, one study showed that men were much more financially generous to their friends when they were single than they were after they married. When married men divorced, they reverted to their more giving selves. If they remarried, then they went back to being less generous to their friends."
I have mixed feelings about this. The grass always seems greener on the side which you are not. However I for the most part rather like my life - just crave a cuddle now and again, and someone to take the strain of decision making occasionally (then again they wouldn't do it right!). You are who you are and beng with someone naturally erodes or enhances this. The best line I heard on TV recently was on 'Nip/Tuck' - "I love them to bits but they dont let me sparkle". All I want is someone to help me sparkle and vice versa. My commitment and loyalty are not issues - but I do confess to a strong willed independent streak! Caveat Emptor.
"Have you heard that single people are miserable and lonely and die alone in their empty flats where they are eaten by their cats? That’s what I heard, too. So I set out to discover the truth of these matters. Guess what? It is not just the cat thing that’s a myth. All of those insulting claims about the pitiful lives of single people are wrong, wrong, wrong! Here’s a rundown of the myths I found while looking at the reality of being unattached today.
Myth 1: Marriage will make you happy
Boo-hoo, poor you! That’s what friends and family sometimes think of people who are single. They are so wrong! First, most single people are not miserable, not even close. On the average, single people are always on the happy end of the scale; that’s true in every study I know of. Second, getting married hardly changes someone’s happiness at all. Some married people experience a tiny blip in happiness around the time of the wedding. (On an 11-point scale, they are about one-quarter of one point happier.) But that is just a honeymoon effect. They soon go back to being as happy or as unhappy as they were when they were single. What’s more, only some married people enjoy the honeymoon effect. People who marry and later divorce actually start getting a bit less happy, not happier, as their wedding day approaches.
Myth 2: Single people are lonely
Sometimes people say that single people are “alone,” that they “don’t have anyone.” But that’s just a myth. Research shows that single people often have many people in their lives that are important to them. Often, they have a whole network of friends and relatives, and they stay connected with them for decades. After all, they have the time to forge many diverse relationships, which married sorts don’t.
Myth 3: Old women are especially lonely
Older women, in particular, are often painted as isolated spinsters, but in one study of 50 women who had always been single, 49 of them had close friends and usually they were in touch with those friends every single day. Sixteen of their friendships had lasted more than 40 years.
Myth 4: Single people don’t live as long as married people
A serious, intellectual magazine recently printed a story with this headline: “Marry or die.” Seriously. Even the most prestigious publications can get their headlines all wrong when it comes to stories about people who are single. That magazine article ignored the longest-running study of longevity on record. That study started in 1921, with more than 1,000 eleven year-olds. Scientists have kept track of these people for as long as they lived. The people who lived the longest were those who stayed single and those who married and stayed married. People who divorced, or who divorced and remarried, had shorter lives. It was consistency, not marriage, that mattered, and the results were the same for men and women.
Myth 5: Single people are self-centred
Married people are supposedly the ones who reach out to other people and keep families and neighbourhoods connected. That’s the story we hear, but it is not what’s really true. National surveys show that single people are more likely to visit, support, contact, and advise their siblings and parents than married or even previously married people. Singles are also more likely to encourage, help, and socialise with their neighbours and friends.
Myth 6: The children of single parents are doomed to lives of failure, drug addiction, and delinquency
These days, forecasts of doom and gloom are often aimed at children who are raised by single parents. To hear the commentators talk about it, you would think that only children raised by two married biological parents have a decent shot at a good, healthy, successful life. In my research, though, I was struck by just how overstated those claims actually are. One example comes from the results of a National Drug Abuse Survey, a study of substance-abuse among 12- to 17-year olds. The children of single mothers had low rates of abuse, under 6 percent. And those rates were just 1.2 percent higher than the rates of the children living with married biological parents. What’s more, two-parent married households did not always have kids with the lowest rates of substance abuse. Teens living with a father and stepmother, for example, had higher rates of substance abuse than teens raised by single mothers.
Myth 7: Single people are not as healthy as people who get married
Think singletons live an unhealthy life of vice, partying up a storm and eating junk food rather than healthy home cooked meals? That’s not what the research says. Typically, people who have always been single are very similar in their health to people who are currently married. There is, though, one exception where single people are actually healthier than attached types: Married people are more overweight! As for divorce, some research actually shows that people become healthier after they divorce than they were when they were married.
Myth 8: Single people waste money on frivolous things for themselves
So you think that singletons splurge and married’s conserve? If so, then I have just one question for you: Do you know how much weddings cost? Even after the big splash, maybe you thought married folks save up, spend conservatively, and are occasionally called upon to support the more spendthrift single drifters in their clan who racked up credit card debt on fancy shopping sprees and holidays...not so. Coupled-up sorts are no more generous than single people when it comes to giving financial help to family members. As for friends, it is the single people who are there for them. In fact, one study showed that men were much more financially generous to their friends when they were single than they were after they married. When married men divorced, they reverted to their more giving selves. If they remarried, then they went back to being less generous to their friends."
I have mixed feelings about this. The grass always seems greener on the side which you are not. However I for the most part rather like my life - just crave a cuddle now and again, and someone to take the strain of decision making occasionally (then again they wouldn't do it right!). You are who you are and beng with someone naturally erodes or enhances this. The best line I heard on TV recently was on 'Nip/Tuck' - "I love them to bits but they dont let me sparkle". All I want is someone to help me sparkle and vice versa. My commitment and loyalty are not issues - but I do confess to a strong willed independent streak! Caveat Emptor.
Thursday, December 27, 2007
I wish
commuting could be like it was this morning everyday! Train in from Kent was empty and quiet. And people on the streets of the city - few and far between! Ah the buzz of being back in the place love. Office quiet - so I can work on my special documents in peace.
Gillingham 1 - Southend 1
Bloody awful game. Nearly fell asleep. How we got a point I do not know. After such a good Christmas Day this was a real let down. Did though get a free bar of chocolate and the Pie family bought more grazers and ate twice their usual ration. As if they hadn't eaten for weeks. ?!
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Monday, December 24, 2007
A Laugh a Minute
Despite your usual dry sense of humor, you seem to be the life and soul of the party this week. Christmas spent at your place is going to be a lot of fun. Jupiter has recently moved into your sign along with the Sun and Mercury. You have plenty to say and people are more than willing to listen to your words of wisdom. There may be some conflict between your wishes and those of your partner, but with a little compromise everything will work out fine. Christmas Day itself will be a very family-oriented affair and one that you will thoroughly enjoy. Expect to receive a message out of the blue on Saturday. It may be from someone you haven't heard from in a while. This could lead to a renewal of an old friendship. When the Sun trines Saturn on Sunday you may want to make a commitment that has legal overtones. If it feels right, go ahead; you'll benefit greatly. You may also find yourself making arrangements for a trip abroad that has a very definite purpose. Venus moves into your twelfth house on Sunday, so you'll be more in touch with your creative imagination. Use it well.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Marvellous
Festive viewing tonight then!!
'Lose 30 Stone or Die' - I decided to give it a miss - for the equally joyous 'Spooks'. Nice of them to name check LV2 though and drive a bomb laden van under Holborn Viaduct.
Had a productive day at work - felt like the first really productive day for an age - I guess I underestimate the worth of day to day diplomacy so it was nice to immerse myself in project plans and dealing with those that can make it happen.
Had my long walk home to loose the shoulders and clear the mind.
Savacentre - whereupon a festive urge hit me and I bought cards for the team - well maybe its the least I can do, wish them well.
Needless to say I did not get in until 9pm.. so I am now just about chilled and relaxed - despite some rather unpleasant shooting pains in my chest earlier...
Must be time for bed now - got a full morning ahead...
'Lose 30 Stone or Die' - I decided to give it a miss - for the equally joyous 'Spooks'. Nice of them to name check LV2 though and drive a bomb laden van under Holborn Viaduct.
Had a productive day at work - felt like the first really productive day for an age - I guess I underestimate the worth of day to day diplomacy so it was nice to immerse myself in project plans and dealing with those that can make it happen.
Had my long walk home to loose the shoulders and clear the mind.
Savacentre - whereupon a festive urge hit me and I bought cards for the team - well maybe its the least I can do, wish them well.
Needless to say I did not get in until 9pm.. so I am now just about chilled and relaxed - despite some rather unpleasant shooting pains in my chest earlier...
Must be time for bed now - got a full morning ahead...
Monday, December 17, 2007
Weekly Ho Hums
Happy birthday, Capricorn! This is your week in more ways than one, thanks to an abundance of positive planetary energy coming your way. Not only is this your time to celebrate the start of your birthday month as the Sun enters Capricorn on Saturday, but it's also the start of the Solstice. You'll be impacted by a lot of powerful energy. The fun doesn't stop there, because on Tuesday the Universe has another wonderful birthday gift for you. Jupiter, the planet of good fortune, enters your Zodiac sign of Capricorn for a one-year visit, and he'll bring you many blessings during his residency in your sector of self. You'll find that you feel good, look good, and think more positively and optimistically than you ever have before. At times, you have a tendency to be a bit down in the dumps, and your Sun Sign is known as one that is occasionally pessimistic. All that changes as you start one of the best weeks of your life. On Thursday wise Mercury completes the presents given to you by the cosmos when he enters Capricorn and gives you an abundance of wisdom. Who could ask for anything more?
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Friday, December 14, 2007
Thursday, December 13, 2007
All
I want today is sleep.
Happy to hibernate. Happy to dress as a red squirrel to do so.
Even my ear plugs couldn't deter the elephants above last night. My nerves are raw. My patience on a short wire. My ability to structure a competent sentence minute.
I even turned up to a meeting a full 30mins too early.
All I want tomorrow is a tube journey without delays.
All I want now is a cuddle, a warm duvet and a good night's kip.
Sweet dreams.
Happy to hibernate. Happy to dress as a red squirrel to do so.
Even my ear plugs couldn't deter the elephants above last night. My nerves are raw. My patience on a short wire. My ability to structure a competent sentence minute.
I even turned up to a meeting a full 30mins too early.
All I want tomorrow is a tube journey without delays.
All I want now is a cuddle, a warm duvet and a good night's kip.
Sweet dreams.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Monday, December 10, 2007
The First Emperor
Exhibition at the British Museum is rather good! I can highly recommend it.
I took my friend Lisa on Sunday evening - and believe me going to the British Museum on a Sunday evening feels quite decadent - like they've opened especially for you!
We invested £3.50 for the audio tour and it was very informative and helped bring the artefacts to life. There are few better cultural ways to spend a Sunday evening.
I took my friend Lisa on Sunday evening - and believe me going to the British Museum on a Sunday evening feels quite decadent - like they've opened especially for you!
We invested £3.50 for the audio tour and it was very informative and helped bring the artefacts to life. There are few better cultural ways to spend a Sunday evening.
Sunday, December 09, 2007
Gills 1 - Port Vale 2
Oh dear. This was a test of commitment.
The rain, the wind and the own goal.
I trudged back to the station.
At least the twins wished us a good Christmas.
WHAT happened chaps?! MOTM by an Old Kent Road mile - Adam Miller - played his socks off and showed true commitment. Our next two games are away games - I suspect Christmas may be rather lean in the points for the festive stocking of Divison One.
The rain, the wind and the own goal.
I trudged back to the station.
At least the twins wished us a good Christmas.
WHAT happened chaps?! MOTM by an Old Kent Road mile - Adam Miller - played his socks off and showed true commitment. Our next two games are away games - I suspect Christmas may be rather lean in the points for the festive stocking of Divison One.
Saturday, December 08, 2007
Friday, December 07, 2007
Thursday, December 06, 2007
Tennis Report
This is a report so that come next year when Mazza and I are trying to work out who we saw we can check here!!
Last year's report.
Wednesday 5th December
Afternoon
Bruguera v Jarryd 6-2 6-4
Bahrami/Wilkinson v Pernfors/McNamara (for a change we saw Bahrami win!)
McEnroe v Pioline 6-7 7-6 4-10 (CT)
Top tips
- the 7 quid restricted view seats are better than the 15 quid ones and if you go in the afternoon you can pretty much pick your own spot!
- we take our own sarnies or this year M&S salad for lunch as getting in and out of the auditorium can be a nightmare and you miss the tennis!
Last year's report.
Wednesday 5th December
Afternoon
Bruguera v Jarryd 6-2 6-4
Bahrami/Wilkinson v Pernfors/McNamara (for a change we saw Bahrami win!)
McEnroe v Pioline 6-7 7-6 4-10 (CT)
Top tips
- the 7 quid restricted view seats are better than the 15 quid ones and if you go in the afternoon you can pretty much pick your own spot!
- we take our own sarnies or this year M&S salad for lunch as getting in and out of the auditorium can be a nightmare and you miss the tennis!
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
7 Years
Yup took the opportunity to celebrate 7 years at my place of work today - a rather pleasant luncheon with Friends and then some pints of porter apres work. Aah. AND the Gills won away from home!! Crewe 2 - Gills 3! Sadly though Mr Scally wants to sell Priestfield - the slippery slope I fear.
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Smile for the Camera
You help out a lot of people by volunteering at your local hospital or delivering food to people who are ill or disabled. On Monday you get to take a bow for your endeavors. Venus in your sector of community activity sextiles Pluto, and you attend an event that honors you for your volunteer activities. Get ready to smile for your photo op and realize it's OK to be thanked for all your good work. The wind shifts for you on Thursday, and you consider all the places you haven't yet visited, even though you like your own backyard and consider it the best place to be in the world. Mercury in Sagittarius squares Saturn in your sector of travel and you feel frustrated with yourself. You want to see far-off places, but you hate the fuss of traveling. You get a book detailing the areas of the world you want to visit, and you see a few travel videos about those particular locales. You might decide visiting your dream vacation spot in person is worth all the hassle of traveling, or you may be content to return your travel book to the library and go back to your own garden.
Mmm. About as useful as a chocolate fire guard! Which perhaps proves - horoscopes are worthless!
Mmm. About as useful as a chocolate fire guard! Which perhaps proves - horoscopes are worthless!
Monday, December 03, 2007
Hmmm
Unsure whether to write very much at all at the moment.
Did declutter my life this weekend. My physical life at least. My arms now ache from carrying such heavy loads to the charity shop. But I have my bath back.
Dyed my hair. Middle one.
My Christmas cactus has started to flower of which I am very proud.
If Gills where still in FA Cup and had beaten Burton they would be facing Swindon away - and as all good Gills' fans know - we hate Swindon.
Have listened mainly to Paul Oakenfold this weekend so sorry folks no self absorbed lyric sharing this weekend - just comfort yourselves with the image of me grooving and dancing in my lounge... When the Rush Comes.
Otherwise can't decide between trousers and skirt...
Saturday, December 01, 2007
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Wednesday - reprise
Today I had a video conference.
An early lunch.
Got a 'thanks mate' text from Sparky.
I survived dull meeting. In fact even injected some humour to make it more worthwhile for the other participants.
I read a book about sharepoint.
I had a positive meeting which allowed me to be constructive. But this was not approved by the First Man. I, me, need to feel I am earning my pay. This meeting gave me that.
Anyway he had lunch with AKA and talked Belbin.
Sorted summary sheets for tomorrow.
Left work.
Walked like the angry person I fear I am turning into. Watched Chinook flying along Thames in the dark. Threaded through party goers on Embankment.
Got tube, made mistake of flicking to end of book to see how many pages and read the note to readers.
Not sure now if I will finish 'Operation Shylock'. It's a sham.
Got text from Lord DM who has had a dull week in Devon.
Spoke to my landlord. Yes my ear plugs are great.
Texted Mazza. Still laughing after last week's shopping trip. Off to Manston tomorrow.
Spoke to my oldest friend and shared experience and advice. The motto we shall preach - 'I am at my prime so going to make the most of the next 5 years'. (yup - between 35 to 40 - looking better than did in my 20's gonna go for some fun and satisfying those old needs). So yes love 'em & leave 'em seems to be the key. No more emotional heartache. Strength in endeavour.
Sunk 3 glasses of agreeable red. Red cheeked and cheeky.
Watched 'How to look good Naked'. Always makes me laugh as the average bloke ain't exactly Brad Pitt when undressed. Looking good naked it is in the head... I always do - until someone is watching!
Heroes.
Dye hair?
Bed?
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Tuesday
Today has been without doubt so dull I am struggling for things to say. For those of you hoping that a 'what I do' blog would be full of affairs and sexual encounters I am afraid I have nothing to offer. Unless you wish to get inside my head. Lots of that there.
Today I went to work - overslept until 7.15am and was still not late. The reason - a total lack of sleep right now. My brain is running between reality and fantasy. Truth and lies. My pre sleep reading - my diary March 2001 and the adventures I had had with Lovegod. Enough to keep anyone awake. Oh and Mr & Mrs Noisy Neighbour being loud until 1.30am did not help.
Then my first meeting with The First Man didn't happen as he was being dragged into other things.
Then I disappeared for 2.5 hours to listen as the Major Project was described to the DC team. That meeting had one advantage. The presence of an in-the-know kinda chap. I found myself working out which way his crossed leg was pointing to see if there was any body language action. Maybe a little towards the end. The semi see through blouse has some advantage. Then a rushed lunch of jacket spud and quorn curry. Bought First Man a coffee. By way of some veiled apology. Text from mum - our friends son n wife have given birth to a baby girl. Good news.
Next the delicate issue of user access on the Major Project. 45 minute time out in which I struggle to get into any meaningful work. I day dream. I day dream about sex. Then its an online session with our friends in LA. Yup the Major Project. I return to collect my tube pass and house keys at 5.45. Text from mum - one of dad's friends' wife died in her sleep. Sad news.
Walk. Tube. Local shopping arcade to Boots for hair dye where upon I discover the Clarks shoe shop is now open! The WHSmiths will be opening on Thursday and TKMaxx had no custard jug.
Home. Oz and James Californian Wine Tour - mmm great memories of my 2 trips to San Francisco. Such a vibrant and exciting city.
Spooks.
Actor does not want me to see his play on Saturday cos his ex will be there. What this has to do with me I know not! I haven't seen the guy for 2 years. He suggests I go another day this week but has failed to give me the times - so looks like Saturday is the one. If I bother.
Sent Sparky a card. Being mixed up is harder if there is no-one to talk too. Often all you need is a hug. Though I know right now I want a hug and all that follows.
Lights on!
Okay I did forget to mention that as I steamed into work from Bonk I had to wait while armed police and the city of London police prevent traffic and peds from passing the Old Bailey. Two gaol wagons duly sped by and went in. Always intrigues me - who is in there? What have they done?
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Monday
Aah the thrill and excitement of Monday. I overslept until 7.30am from then on in it was a smash n grab job. Thankfully my attire does not reflect that. (Okay that is just my opinion!) On the radio this morning the joyous news that ambulance crews are not 100% sure that their wagons are as clean as they should be. Comforting.
So I race to the tube. 8.44am. Get on a Charing 'I am quite' Cross branch train and head for Embonkment. At Balam a partially sighted lady gets on with her black labrador. The rest of the journey is interspersed with said dog dropping its guts at frequent intervals. It was most unpleasant and I was glad for my scarf to bury nose into. The rest of the carriage were intend on looking round to see who had the guilty face. The dog's tail kept on wagging. Despicable Line to Blackfry-up and into work I walk. The third person in. Blade is in doing online questionnaires and ruing MOT's and insurance. Earl grey is surfing and I have to detangle several layers to look ready for work.
Aah the thrill of and excitement of Monday morning.
-------
Monday morning starts with a minor emergency - our key software package needs upgrading and unscheduled its now going to be today. I catch up with other stuff, replacing shoes to rightful place under desk following a weekend carpet clean, remove files from air con so there is some air, re-arrange coasters and get re-settled and ready for a day of meetings. First up the fishy fish project. It's been around a while and on occasion can smell. Today it's a catch up in prep for a video conference on Wednesday.
Then a weekly catch up with Lord J. I help him write the agenda for another meeting due on Wednesday. He uses a tablet PC. I use my nous. Then I crack on with documenting a modular project to a yet to be signed off business cased project. At 12.30 I change my boots for trainers and head out of office having pulled The First Man's leg about an unfortunate spot which has appeared. I suspect karma will catch me and by end of week I too will be suffering. WW beckons. Hooray am back to 10st 10lbs. Kelly will be overseeing until March - so I can make sure I see before she goes off and gives birth. Leave WW and avoid wolf whistling builders by sticking earphones in ears.
Am listening to Annie Lennox - sparked by her appearance on the South Bank Show last night. Disappointed with Melvin - too much slicing between interview and snippets of songs. I would have preferred proper chat. Annie's hand gestures have stuck with me today as have the rawness of her lyrics. Step forward yet another Capricorn influence.
'Bare' - an album which takes me back to when I split up with Sparky in 2005. Sitting in the flat singing the words and crying. 'Honestly' - "I turned myself into a person I didn't like". Meanwhile 'Diva' takes me even further back to the anguish The First One put me through in 1995. Trust me irate mother's of blokes kids (all of which til this point never mentioned) is not a great phone call to get whilst you are at home. From then on I suspect my life was never going to neat and tidy. However there were less pleasant things about that relationship which make that humiliation seem less painful. Thanks Annie your timely decade releases have fit a space in my emotional journey's. Can I listen and walk without crying?! Of course - today I just want to drown in her melancholy and once I switch it off forget it again.
So go for a walk across Wobbly Bridge the sun is in my eyes being so low. As you reach the south bank side the Tate Modern's iconic tower actually blocks the sun and I can see the hordes piling towards me. No time to view I sprint to Blackfriars Bridge. As I walk across it I read the chalked commentary left by a amorous couple over the weekend. The wooing, the suggestion and then the happy faces of afterglow. All the words &/or pictures made to fit the paving slab. A full blown conversation. Had I walked the in the other direction it would not have worked. I smile and head to Tesco's for fruit and yoghurt. Desk again the office is empty the rest of the PMT (no no NOT that PMT - Project Management Team - haven't had the bad PMT for ages btw) are out. Peace.
Quick scoff and check on GFC news then its time to decamp to the White Board Room for an afternoon of the Major Project stuff - catch ups, mandate reviews and an online training session with our friends in LA. At 6.10pm I am released. Projector secured up and email reviewed I bid farewell to the remaining workers and ask them if I look enough of a freak to be arrested? (Ok here's the picture starting from the bottom - trainers, pick trainer socks, diamond tartan tights, a-line skirt, 'that' leather coat, and my brown beanie. Mad? Me?) None offers an answer. Walk to Witterloose decide tube better option as it is already 7pm. SavaCentre for Horlicks refill pack. THEY DON'T DO IT ANYMORE!!! WHY!?!? So I am forced to buy a completely newly packaged version. GRR.
Enders. Nigella Express - how much wasted cheese?
Blog. Emails. Lights out.
Monday, November 26, 2007
Use Your Imagination
There seems to be a lot happening behind the scenes this week. Your spiritual zone is highly emphasized and will be even more so when Mercury moves into Sagittarius on Friday. This brings you a fantastic opportunity to make use of your capacity to visualize what you want. First of all, you need to reflect on your priorities. Ask what kind of life you want to lead and then all you have to do is use your imagination to bring it to you. If you do this regularly, you'll be amazed at the changes you can bring about. Don't sign any new contracts or close any deals on Monday; you may be missing some vital information. Wait a few days until you have the facts in hand. However, it's a good time for brainstorming, so make a note of your best ideas. You may experience a conflict on Friday when the Sun squares Saturn. It may be a clash of beliefs, which makes it difficult for you to take the next step on the path to success. This is why it's very important to know what your goals are. Make sure you tune in to your intuition over the weekend, as it will bring many benefits.
Loneliness
Loneliness - Annie Lennox
Loneliness
Is a place that I know well
It's the distance between us
And the space inside ourselves
And emptiness....
Is the chattering in your head
It's the call of the living
And the race from life to death
Woa and I know
Yes and I know
What you feel...
And I've got a longin'
That's hard to find
Won't give me no peace of mind
Something that I've lived with all along
Days and weeks and months and years
Filling in the time my dear
Tryin' to find the place where I belong
Hopelessness
is the darkness in your heart
It's the sound of one hand clapping
While it's pulling you apart
Woa and I know
Yes and I know
What you feel
And
I've got a longin'
That's hard to find
Won't give me no peace of mind
Something that I've lived with all along
Days and weeks and months and years
Filling in the time my dear
Tryin' to find the place where I belong
And
I got a hunger that's
Hard to fill
Driving me on overkill
Tellin' me that everything's gone wrong
Got me a need
That I can't break
More than I can hardly take
Somehow I still keep on going strong
When I call your name
I'm gonna scream out loud
I'll say...
"here I am standing in the crowd"
You'll say "come to me
With your open mind
you never know
What you still might find"
But you keep me here
Like a cancelled flight
An empty train
Running through the night
An orphan child
A broken shoe
and I'm still down here
Lookin' out for you
Are you there for me?
'Cause I'm here for you
Loneliness
Is a place that I know well
It's the distance between us
And the space inside ourselves
And emptiness....
Is the chattering in your head
It's the call of the living
And the race from life to death
Woa and I know
Yes and I know
What you feel...
And I've got a longin'
That's hard to find
Won't give me no peace of mind
Something that I've lived with all along
Days and weeks and months and years
Filling in the time my dear
Tryin' to find the place where I belong
Hopelessness
is the darkness in your heart
It's the sound of one hand clapping
While it's pulling you apart
Woa and I know
Yes and I know
What you feel
And
I've got a longin'
That's hard to find
Won't give me no peace of mind
Something that I've lived with all along
Days and weeks and months and years
Filling in the time my dear
Tryin' to find the place where I belong
And
I got a hunger that's
Hard to fill
Driving me on overkill
Tellin' me that everything's gone wrong
Got me a need
That I can't break
More than I can hardly take
Somehow I still keep on going strong
When I call your name
I'm gonna scream out loud
I'll say...
"here I am standing in the crowd"
You'll say "come to me
With your open mind
you never know
What you still might find"
But you keep me here
Like a cancelled flight
An empty train
Running through the night
An orphan child
A broken shoe
and I'm still down here
Lookin' out for you
Are you there for me?
'Cause I'm here for you
Today
Reminded me of driving lessons and watching footie down the park on a Sunday afternoon.
A real sense of me aged 17.
A real sense of me aged 17.
Ciggy
I really want one at the moment.
Some weird sense of oh it'll make everything ok...I have none.
Imagination only.
Some weird sense of oh it'll make everything ok...I have none.
Imagination only.
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Weekender..
Friday into Saturday and then once more to Sunday.
My weekend begins with the clock radio alarm going off as I did not reset it last night (6.30am) - erm or should that be early this morning. It makes up for the thing not going off on Monday morning. I faintly recall a chap at Moregate asking me the taxi situation at Moorden. I suggested it was not good. My experience has always been that I end up walked back from Moorden as taxis and buses seem to always disappear when needed. The chap needed a cap to take him to Maidstone. I smiled and said I was a Kent girl. Then recommended trying to find transport at London Bridge as opposed to the SW side of deepest darkest London. He seemed grateful. All it proved to me was I was less drunk than I thought. I also know that the wait at Moregate for a tube was 15 minutes. I assumed I rattled into the flat just after 1am. Beer. Chat. Jealousy. Oh and Jeremy Bowen.
My head and memory coming too I venture swiftly to the kitchen for OJ and tabs. Once taken I return to my warm and secure bed. I sleep soundly until 9am. I have to get up at some point. I have too. Football beckons but John Kettley keeps saying how cold it is outside. A raw and biting wind. The sun has hidden away too. It was a full moon last night - that I do remember. And reading an Evening Standard and having a chap decide to sit either side of me on the tube even though the rest of the carriage was sparsely filled. I had waited for the train a minute behind the 15 min wait and presto got a seat. But that was in the past. Now I need to get up!
As I hit the bathroom to refresh and revive my weary bones and greyed skin my mobile rings. I ignore it. 9.30am? Not recognising the number I assume its a wrong one. Or worse somebody checking my number out as its been found in the wrong place. 01883 is a Caterham code. I am none the wiser.
So shower and scrub. Jeans and six layers of clothing later am ready for a proper scrambled egg on toast breakfast and the mighty Fighting Talk. I laugh as Colin Murray and the crew debate the important sporting questions of the week. As noon approaches I consider more layers and do my flat safety checks before leaving. It is colder outside than John Kettley led me to believe. Renew Oyster. Head for the farthest south end of the platform. Take pic of empty tube carriage and the Misery Line's newly upholstered colours. Change at Stickwheel for Victorious Line. Victoria Station. Madness. Tourists. Arsenal fans. Tourists. I manage to get ticket and jump on the 1.03. I am joined by turbo mobile phone user who also has a runny nose and sniffs constantly. I check to make sure she is not actually in pain/upset. Tickets checked. I fall asleep. Until Chatham. Alight at Gillingham and walk the least like Balmoral Road to the ground and beyond to meet Pops. I have never had to dodge quite so many vomit circles or massive dog turds as I do this afternoon. Just what the greyed gilled hungover fan needs.
Slow train back to London becomes a challenge to get all the other occupants to shut their windows. The carriage is freezing. I shut mine and the next one along. The two Leeds (!?) fans in the opposite seats alight at Chatham so I close that window. The Monkey Hanger fans in the seats diagonally opposite are so busy drinking Strongbow and Fosters they do not notice until Longfield. TOO LATE! So with hat and scarf still on I again plug into PJ. Several well to do couples get on - their monthly outing to the big smoke. As we draw into Vic I get several curious chaps asking me the score and the attendance. I smile (ish!) and say we won and refrain from saying there would have been more if you had been there too. My feet still haven't thawed out and I am getting quite impatient with life again. On to the Victorious Line - to strange looks and judging glances. Unfazed I relish that at least the carriage is WARM!!
Stickwell and sarf bound to home. Falafels, spuds and greens for tea. TV? Erm Casualty. The Tudors - sort of. I would say bed but I was busy PJ lyric hunting for posting here. When I finally go to bed - juts after midnight my friendly upstairs Mr Noisy Neighbour is talking to his colleague and I am sure they are doing DIY. Building a cabinet I mean. But the time it is 1.30 I have had enough and bang the ceiling furiously and yell a lot. First sign of madness? Bah. Don't care. Want sleep. At 2.15am he and 'friend' leave. I finally drop off.
8.30am brother rings. putting an offer in on a gorgeous house and planning the spending of first new job wage packet well in advance of its arrival. Christmas is mentioned. I have little to say and the conversation dries up. I am half asleep and sober - he is on the vino blanc and excited.
The Archers follows. Bit bland this morning. Brats b-d party. Kathy in a stew with any one who comes near. Emma ruing rejecting Ed and Clarrie & Eddie discussing turkey's and you guessed it the rather poor state of English football. I text Sparky to say hello. I still await a response. At least now I know what we need a break meant (break up not get yer passport we're going for a break.) I dress, hang out washing and go for a walk. The sun is out and its no where near as biting as yesterday. Bracing yes but once I get my pace on its very pleasant. Wombledon is as ever. I am sure if they could implement a dress code I would not be allowed in.
Tesco's for spinach so I can create my lasagne special. The guy on the counter tells his side kick to serve a customer and then carries on talking to her whilst 'serving' me. I mutter have a nice day as I leave. Takes him aback meanwhile a humble shelf stakcer in a bigger mood than me walks into me. Sullen. Costcutter for large envelope to send stuff to Oz. Again anyone would think I had handed over a turd when I paid for my goods. Have a good day yourself I curse as I leave that shop. I begin to suspect I am now getting the reputation as the batty woman who walks very fast and wears a Gills hat all the time.
Home. Peace and sunshine. West Ham v Spurs on radio. Sewing chores. Hoovering. And then my decadent Sunday treat - showering at 2 in the afternoon. Bliss! Means I can take my time. Scrub polish tidy hair and generally make myself feel tempting. I blow a kiss in the mirror and set about cleaning the shower - easier without clothes on I find.
Lasagne in oven. Sit back and relax for afternoon. Come Dine with Me - tad dull this week. Read Observer. Much more enlightening. Eat lasagne. Mazza rings. I am less communicative than usual. Lack of human contact makes me very introvert. Strictly Come Dancing. Completion of half finished Blog entries and then I guess - Cranford? Bed and oh dearie me Monday - so soon?
Gillingham 2 - Hartlepool 1
It was a cold old Saturday afternoon. Thankfully the world's largest man sat to my left so I had at least some wind break and body heat to cling too. Did not stop my feet from turning blue and my nose from going red. The game? First half was a case of trying to work out who was playing for us let alone the opposition. Most of the team were new to us - signings and loans from he hem the non league end of the divisions. The 3 year strategy to get to the FA Trophy final looks to be in full flow. Pops was nervous. I on the other hand reckons Stimson has very little to lose so why not go for a real shake up and see what happens? I know you never win anything with kids - so we will be fine - we were not winning much without them.
So the twins are in, Colin and Arfur and the Pie family. The trio to my left are fairly up on footballing stresses and do not irritate me overly. The first half is akin to watching under 18's football. Naive and less skillful than you'd like to see. We gift Hartlepool's James Brown a goal in the 25th minute. The heads do not drop but the first touch and passing remain inadequate to turn the tide. Thankfully 2 minutes added time is cued and the first end closes. To boos. A trait this weekend it seems.
Half time brings out the Slightly Spicy Girls. Dressed in not much more than frilly swimwear they were probably less spice and more bruised bluesy gals. Invicta Radio seem to think that a half time crowd at GFC would benefit from some entertainment. They sang 2 live songs. And were booed. By most of the 5,488.
Some fans to my left were getting into the spirit and jigging along. Dad & I remained seated and laughed a lot.
Second half - what a difference the Spicy Girls make... ha ha. Oli scores in the 46th minute. It looked for all thje world as if it was going over the bar. In it went. The Gills fans could sing their 'new' song. Oli Oli Oli - oih oih oih! And O-lay O-lay O-lay O-Lay. (Feeling hot hot hot) - told you those Spicy Girls were to blame.
The second goal I missed. With giant hay stacks to my left and pops to my right all attempts to get upright saw me pushed back down. Can honestly say that's the first time that's ever happened. Trapped in my seat. And boy was standing up good - movement to the outer limbs to get some blood circulating. Oli scores his second. Substitution takes place and a player with longer hair comes onto the pitch. Without a close up hard to tell but certainly put Sparky in my head for the rest of the game. I also for the first time this season had a real longing to see Matty Jarvis running the left hand side... wherefore art thou Matty?
So we managed to hold on to the lead. How? Not overly sure. But the team are clearly in need of some time to gel and get a feel for each other. They are also in need of toughening up. GOT to be stronger on the ball and better skilled with the first touch. Stimson sounds positive and is getting them all proper fit.
The bigger question - what is he gonna do with the current members he has dropped in favour of these new boys?
Ooh. Who are you? A new team sheet is required:
1. Kelvin Jack (GK)
2. Duncan Jupp
3. Craig Armstrong
4.
5. Simon King
6. Ian Cox
7. Andrew Crofts
8. Mark Bentley
9. Gary Mulligan
10. Delroy Facey
11. Nicky Southall
12.Simon Royce (GK)
13.
14. Aaron Brown
15.
16. Efe Sodje
17. Andy Pugh
18. Craig Stone
19. Sean Clohessy
20. David Graham
21.
22. Derek Stillie (GK)
23. Barry Cogan
24. Guylian Ndumbu-Nsungu
25. Tom Bryant
26. Chris Dickson
27. Luke Freeman
28. Dennis Oli
29. Charlie Howard
30. Leroy Griffiths
31. Adam Bygrave
32. Stuart Thurgood
33.
34.
35.
36. Adam Miller
So the twins are in, Colin and Arfur and the Pie family. The trio to my left are fairly up on footballing stresses and do not irritate me overly. The first half is akin to watching under 18's football. Naive and less skillful than you'd like to see. We gift Hartlepool's James Brown a goal in the 25th minute. The heads do not drop but the first touch and passing remain inadequate to turn the tide. Thankfully 2 minutes added time is cued and the first end closes. To boos. A trait this weekend it seems.
Half time brings out the Slightly Spicy Girls. Dressed in not much more than frilly swimwear they were probably less spice and more bruised bluesy gals. Invicta Radio seem to think that a half time crowd at GFC would benefit from some entertainment. They sang 2 live songs. And were booed. By most of the 5,488.
Some fans to my left were getting into the spirit and jigging along. Dad & I remained seated and laughed a lot.
Second half - what a difference the Spicy Girls make... ha ha. Oli scores in the 46th minute. It looked for all thje world as if it was going over the bar. In it went. The Gills fans could sing their 'new' song. Oli Oli Oli - oih oih oih! And O-lay O-lay O-lay O-Lay. (Feeling hot hot hot) - told you those Spicy Girls were to blame.
The second goal I missed. With giant hay stacks to my left and pops to my right all attempts to get upright saw me pushed back down. Can honestly say that's the first time that's ever happened. Trapped in my seat. And boy was standing up good - movement to the outer limbs to get some blood circulating. Oli scores his second. Substitution takes place and a player with longer hair comes onto the pitch. Without a close up hard to tell but certainly put Sparky in my head for the rest of the game. I also for the first time this season had a real longing to see Matty Jarvis running the left hand side... wherefore art thou Matty?
So we managed to hold on to the lead. How? Not overly sure. But the team are clearly in need of some time to gel and get a feel for each other. They are also in need of toughening up. GOT to be stronger on the ball and better skilled with the first touch. Stimson sounds positive and is getting them all proper fit.
The bigger question - what is he gonna do with the current members he has dropped in favour of these new boys?
Ooh. Who are you? A new team sheet is required:
1. Kelvin Jack (GK)
2. Duncan Jupp
3. Craig Armstrong
4.
5. Simon King
6. Ian Cox
7. Andrew Crofts
8. Mark Bentley
9. Gary Mulligan
10. Delroy Facey
11. Nicky Southall
12.Simon Royce (GK)
13.
14. Aaron Brown
15.
16. Efe Sodje
17. Andy Pugh
18. Craig Stone
19. Sean Clohessy
20. David Graham
21.
22. Derek Stillie (GK)
23. Barry Cogan
24. Guylian Ndumbu-Nsungu
25. Tom Bryant
26. Chris Dickson
27. Luke Freeman
28. Dennis Oli
29. Charlie Howard
30. Leroy Griffiths
31. Adam Bygrave
32. Stuart Thurgood
33.
34.
35.
36. Adam Miller
Lost Dogs
A few other good PJ lyrics...my advice - go listen and feel...
No Way
Here's a token of my openness
Of my need to not disappear
How I'm feeling so revealing to me
I found my mind too clear
I just need someone to be there for.. me
I just want someone to be there for.. me
All the static in my attic a
Shoots down my side nerve
To the ocean of my platitudes
Longitudes latitudes it's so absurd
I just need someone to be there for..
I just want someone to be there for..
Someone to be there for..
'Cause I'll stop trying to make a difference
I'm not trying to make a difference
I'll stop trying to make a difference
No way {2X}
Ooh, let's call in an angel {3X}
'Cause I'll stop trying to make a difference
I'm not trying to make a difference
I'll stop trying to make a difference
No way
'Cause I'll stop trying to make a difference
I'm not trying to make a difference
I'm not trying to make a difference
No way No way, no way
Let's call in an angel
Who's calling an angel?
Corduroy
The waiting drove me mad
You’re finally here and I’m a mess
I take your entrance back
Cant let you roam inside my head
I don’t want to take what you can give
I would rather starve than eat your bread
I would rather run but I cant walk
Guess I’ll lay alone just like before
I take the varmints path I must refuse your test
push me and I will resist
This behaviour’s not unique
I don’t want to hear from those who know
They can buy but can’t put on my clothes
I don’t want to limp for them to walk
Never would have known of me before
I don’t want to be held
In your debt
I’ll pay it of in blood let, I be wed
I’m already cut up an half dead
I'll end up alone like I began
Everything has chains absolutely nothing’s changed
Take my hand not my picture spill my tincture
I don’t want to take what you can give
I would rather starve than eat your breast
All the things that others want for me
Cant buy what I want because its free
Cant buy what I want because its free
Cant be what you want because I’m…
I aint supposed to be just fun
To live and die let it be done
I figure I’ll be dammed
All alone like I began
Hail Hail
Ah is there room for both of us? Both of us apart?
Are we bound out of obligation? Is that all we've got?
I get the words and then I get to thinkin'
But I don't want to think I want to feel!
How do I feel? And how do I...
If you're the only one well I'll never be enough yeah...
Hail hail the lucky ones I refer to those in love yeah...
I swore I'd love you till the day I died...ah and beyond...
Are we going to the same place? If so, can I come?
It's egg rollin' thick and heavy...all the past we carry...
Oh, I could be new...you underestimate me...
If you're the only one, well I'll never be enough, yeah...
Hail, hail the lucky ones, I refer to those in love, yeah...
I sometimes realize...I could only be as good as you'll let me...
Are you woman enough to be my man? Bandaged hand in hand... Yeah...
I find I'm on the run in a race that can't be won, yeah...
All hail the lucky ones, I refer to those in love, yeah...
If you're my only one...so good, you only one...
I want to be your one...enough, you won...your one...your hun...
Rearviewmirror
I took a drive today
Time to emancipate
I guess it was the beatings made me wise
But I'm not about to give thanks or apologize
I couldn't breathe holdin' me down
Hand on my face kissin' the ground
Enmity gauged united by fear
'Posed to endure what I could not forgive...
I seem to look away
Wounds in the mirror waved
It wasn't my surface most defiled
Head at your feet fool to your crown
Fist on my plate, swallowed it down
Enmity gauged, united by fear
Tried to endure what I could not forgive
Saw things
Clearer Once you, were in my...Rearview mirror...
I gather speed from you f**king with me
Once and for all I'm far away I hardly believe, finally the shades...are raised...hey...
Saw things so much clearer
Once you, once you...
Rearview mirror
Saw things so much clearer
Once you...oh yeah...
Low Light
Clouds roll by
Reeling is what they say
Or is it just my way?
Wind blows by low light
Side tracked low light
Can't see my tracks your scent way back
Can I be here all alone?
Clear a path to my home
Blood runs dry
Books and jealousy tell me wrong
All I feel calm
Voice blows by low light
Car crash low light
Can't wear my mask your first my last
Voice goes by
Two birds is what they'll see
Getting lost upon their way
Wind rolls by, low light
Eye sight, low light
I need the light
I'll find my way from wrong, what's real?
The dream I see
Pilate
Talk of circles and punching out
Looking in drawing circles down
Falling up the south marking ground
Talking out of turn drawing circles down
Like Pilate I have a dog
{3X} {Obeys listens kisses loves}
Walks me out of town
Still one's a crowd
Making angels in the dirt
Looking up looking all around
Like Pilate I have a dog
{2X} {Obeys listens kisses loves}
Stunned by my own reflection
It's looking back, sees me too clearly
And I swore I'd never go there again
Not unlike a friend that politely drags you down, you down, you down
Like Pilate, I have a dog
{4X} {Obeys, listens, kisses, loves}
No Way
Here's a token of my openness
Of my need to not disappear
How I'm feeling so revealing to me
I found my mind too clear
I just need someone to be there for.. me
I just want someone to be there for.. me
All the static in my attic a
Shoots down my side nerve
To the ocean of my platitudes
Longitudes latitudes it's so absurd
I just need someone to be there for..
I just want someone to be there for..
Someone to be there for..
'Cause I'll stop trying to make a difference
I'm not trying to make a difference
I'll stop trying to make a difference
No way {2X}
Ooh, let's call in an angel {3X}
'Cause I'll stop trying to make a difference
I'm not trying to make a difference
I'll stop trying to make a difference
No way
'Cause I'll stop trying to make a difference
I'm not trying to make a difference
I'm not trying to make a difference
No way No way, no way
Let's call in an angel
Who's calling an angel?
Corduroy
The waiting drove me mad
You’re finally here and I’m a mess
I take your entrance back
Cant let you roam inside my head
I don’t want to take what you can give
I would rather starve than eat your bread
I would rather run but I cant walk
Guess I’ll lay alone just like before
I take the varmints path I must refuse your test
push me and I will resist
This behaviour’s not unique
I don’t want to hear from those who know
They can buy but can’t put on my clothes
I don’t want to limp for them to walk
Never would have known of me before
I don’t want to be held
In your debt
I’ll pay it of in blood let, I be wed
I’m already cut up an half dead
I'll end up alone like I began
Everything has chains absolutely nothing’s changed
Take my hand not my picture spill my tincture
I don’t want to take what you can give
I would rather starve than eat your breast
All the things that others want for me
Cant buy what I want because its free
Cant buy what I want because its free
Cant be what you want because I’m…
I aint supposed to be just fun
To live and die let it be done
I figure I’ll be dammed
All alone like I began
Hail Hail
Ah is there room for both of us? Both of us apart?
Are we bound out of obligation? Is that all we've got?
I get the words and then I get to thinkin'
But I don't want to think I want to feel!
How do I feel? And how do I...
If you're the only one well I'll never be enough yeah...
Hail hail the lucky ones I refer to those in love yeah...
I swore I'd love you till the day I died...ah and beyond...
Are we going to the same place? If so, can I come?
It's egg rollin' thick and heavy...all the past we carry...
Oh, I could be new...you underestimate me...
If you're the only one, well I'll never be enough, yeah...
Hail, hail the lucky ones, I refer to those in love, yeah...
I sometimes realize...I could only be as good as you'll let me...
Are you woman enough to be my man? Bandaged hand in hand... Yeah...
I find I'm on the run in a race that can't be won, yeah...
All hail the lucky ones, I refer to those in love, yeah...
If you're my only one...so good, you only one...
I want to be your one...enough, you won...your one...your hun...
Rearviewmirror
I took a drive today
Time to emancipate
I guess it was the beatings made me wise
But I'm not about to give thanks or apologize
I couldn't breathe holdin' me down
Hand on my face kissin' the ground
Enmity gauged united by fear
'Posed to endure what I could not forgive...
I seem to look away
Wounds in the mirror waved
It wasn't my surface most defiled
Head at your feet fool to your crown
Fist on my plate, swallowed it down
Enmity gauged, united by fear
Tried to endure what I could not forgive
Saw things
Clearer Once you, were in my...Rearview mirror...
I gather speed from you f**king with me
Once and for all I'm far away I hardly believe, finally the shades...are raised...hey...
Saw things so much clearer
Once you, once you...
Rearview mirror
Saw things so much clearer
Once you...oh yeah...
Low Light
Clouds roll by
Reeling is what they say
Or is it just my way?
Wind blows by low light
Side tracked low light
Can't see my tracks your scent way back
Can I be here all alone?
Clear a path to my home
Blood runs dry
Books and jealousy tell me wrong
All I feel calm
Voice blows by low light
Car crash low light
Can't wear my mask your first my last
Voice goes by
Two birds is what they'll see
Getting lost upon their way
Wind rolls by, low light
Eye sight, low light
I need the light
I'll find my way from wrong, what's real?
The dream I see
Pilate
Talk of circles and punching out
Looking in drawing circles down
Falling up the south marking ground
Talking out of turn drawing circles down
Like Pilate I have a dog
{3X} {Obeys listens kisses loves}
Walks me out of town
Still one's a crowd
Making angels in the dirt
Looking up looking all around
Like Pilate I have a dog
{2X} {Obeys listens kisses loves}
Stunned by my own reflection
It's looking back, sees me too clearly
And I swore I'd never go there again
Not unlike a friend that politely drags you down, you down, you down
Like Pilate, I have a dog
{4X} {Obeys, listens, kisses, loves}
Footsteps
Don't even think about reachin' me
I won't be home
Don't even think about stoppin' by
Don't think of me at all
I did, what I had to do
If there was a reason, it was you...
Don't even think of gettin' inside
Voices in my head, voices
I got scratches, all over my arms
One for each day, since I fell apart
I did, what I had to do
If there was a reason, it was you...
Footsteps in the hall, it was you, you
Pictures on my test, it was you
It was you...I did, what I had to do
And if there was a reason
Oh, there wasn't no reason, no
And if, there's something you'd like to do
Just let me continue, to blame you
Footsteps in the hall, it was you, you
Pictures on my chest, it was you, you
Shame written lyrics fail to convey the essence of a song properly. Eddie's voice skimming across the words with note perfect intonation.
Spent a lot of time listening to PJ today on the tube and train to & from football. The Capricorn in me wanted to embrace the Capricorn of Sir Eddie of Vedder. Aah and the lazy harmonica. Beautiful.
I won't be home
Don't even think about stoppin' by
Don't think of me at all
I did, what I had to do
If there was a reason, it was you...
Don't even think of gettin' inside
Voices in my head, voices
I got scratches, all over my arms
One for each day, since I fell apart
I did, what I had to do
If there was a reason, it was you...
Footsteps in the hall, it was you, you
Pictures on my test, it was you
It was you...I did, what I had to do
And if there was a reason
Oh, there wasn't no reason, no
And if, there's something you'd like to do
Just let me continue, to blame you
Footsteps in the hall, it was you, you
Pictures on my chest, it was you, you
Shame written lyrics fail to convey the essence of a song properly. Eddie's voice skimming across the words with note perfect intonation.
Spent a lot of time listening to PJ today on the tube and train to & from football. The Capricorn in me wanted to embrace the Capricorn of Sir Eddie of Vedder. Aah and the lazy harmonica. Beautiful.
Thursday 22nd - Pt II
The curry house... or the fawlty towers of yea ole Bromley??
Okay okay so by popular Baggy demand the eating arrangements in Bromley were not quites as expected. You had the 2 'waiters' - I now know why they are called waiters - they sure kept us waiting...
We were seated in the frosted window and given a menu. Drinks came. The like a matador the older waiter grabbed the serviette and whipped it onto my Pop's lap, Mazza was next - I preempted the strike and did my own.
3 poppadoms arrived. And chutneys. Imagine if you will onions, mango chutney and then well red cabbage chutney only it was not quite so pleasant but yes it was that pink. The fourth Empire Spice chutney was a soothing bright green mint yoghurt sauce. It was like Ghostbusters slime.
We chose our food and closed menus. During this time other several couples had joined the fun. The couple to our right came in all smiles. After 20 minutes waiting for a menu they left. Eventually our order was taken. Some 30 minutes later it did arrive just as well as Pops was ready to say he was sick of waiting. It looked okay. However my chicken dansak had a weird fruity flavour and strangely when I tried Pop's pathia that too had a similarly strange fruity flavour. So the difference was the lentil content. Mazza went for the highly radical mixed grill tandoori. It came in a semi sizzling dish. However half way through meal one of the other couples had also ordered a tandoori sizzler so the older rather BO fragranted waiter came over and without batting an eyelid shovelled the remaining meats from my mum's sizzle dish onto her plate. Apparently my mouth was agog as I watched this happen. Sure enough but seconds later the sizzler dish for table no 6 appeared.
Pop ate as if his throat had been cut all day. Mazza & I were less convinced. There was indeed a lot of food not being eaten when I cast an eye around the room.
The toilets. Oh yes. No loo paper and no working hand dryer. I made a point of using the serviette on my return.
Quartered oranges appeared as did 'warm' towels. Mazza had watched as the hot towel dish had been snatched from other tables - refilled and passed to next table. Pops went to the toilets - I asked for the bill. Pops returned. Smelly waiter removed all our table ware. Still no bill. By now Mazza was talking to other customers - who said they had been given dished they had not even asked for. Still no bill. I made parents put coats etc on to make it look as if we were going without paying. Still no bill.
We approached the counter and explained we had a train to catch. Oh.
The bill had been lost. Somewhere in the kitchen. Nice. I made a point of checking it before we paid. I also request they put some loo roll in the toilets. Yes yes the toilets are over there. No use.
Certainly the worst curry ever. Tandoori Knights, the Akash, the Spice of Raj and my Brick Lane haunts are all safe. Advice from the lonely planet Fairbo - do not plan to go drinking or eating in the London Borough of Bromley. Makes me glad the KCC booted the place out!! And yes we missed the train too.
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