'Revolutionary Road'

Well I finally got to see the film of the book I was reading a year ago...and much like the book commenting on the film has left me strangely without a huge number of words to say. Was it bland? Was it un-evoking? I guess yes it was. I am not sure Leonardo helped as Frank. And the film really swathed through Yates dark passages about his days at work. The plot was all there but the depth of drudge was lost in the celluloid. I did not leave the cinema elated or deflated. Just devoid of emotion. The ending is horrific but the film did not give me enough to have any sense of connection with either Frank or April. I was frankly, no pun intended, non-plussed. But then I had been about the book too. I suspect I need to re-read it now to try and get to grips with it. Did I miss something? I think the message gets across loud and clear. Suburban day to day can be exceedingly dull. And yet the masses subscribed. Women have since crept and leapt out of the kitchen and turned that theory on its head. Are we any happier? Was it a revolution or just an unfortunate outcome? Maybe I will be able to better get a handle on it after a second read.

Was it worth it?

This picture will live me as being the cause of shattering what until that point had been a fairly charmed weekend.
We were on our way back from Ireland. Stansted Express to Liverpool St - breakfast followed by a walk through the city to London Bridge. As we got to the end of LB - I wanted to take a picture of this building as its walls do not sit at 90 degrees. As I nestled into a smallish area jutting out from the bridge I noticed this bloke lurking behind us. Trying to block us in the space. I flipped. Sparky flipped. The bloke kept staring and followed us. My nerves were shredded. It was the first time I had felt like this in London. It plagued me. Next day I made a special point of walking back over the bridge. A friend talked me out of the memory later the following week. The hammering of the heart was real tho. Just conflict adverse in those situs me.
---
I have since had further cause to get distressed around London. By teenage girls having a pop as I get on the tube a little too slowly. I cannot work out if these are linked to not having my headphones in or because when I am with Sparky for some reason we draw attention. Either way I feel less safe in this town than I have for a long while (updated Mar 13th)

'Slumdog Millionaire'

Took Dad to see this as his birthday treat. Glad we did. I had assumed from the hype and constant awards references it was going to be side splitting and laughter all the way. It was not. It had some pretty raw scenes and plenty of hard subjects to tackle. There were laughs and there were tears. A mixture of the full bag. Great concept. Liberating to see another part of the world.

If you haven't I fully recomment you do! Go see.

Two Notes from last night

1) I cannot believe they have sacked Scolari -- because Chelsea are having a 'dismal season' - hehem they are fourth in the Prem Div!?!? How is that dismal? Try asking a Spurs fan about a dismal season... or a Leeds fan. Ha ha.

2) Moses Jones. A rather excellent drama currently on Beeb 2 - which saw the horrific spite of 2 protagnists befall a female victim. They rather violently removed both her front teeth by a claw hammer. As one who has had front teeth re-arrangement I can confess I was in agony just watching. Can't wait for the last part next Monday to find out who what when.. why.

Ethics

You are ready to meet any challenge that comes your way this week, karen. On Tuesday, the Moon in capable Virgo trines powerful Pluto in Capricorn in your sector of self, and you are filled to the brim with confidence and fortitude. Your sense of personal power will accelerate to the point that you will not be afraid to overcome any obstacle you encounter since you just know you can steamroll over it without breaking a sweat! You discover that by sticking to your guns and not letting anyone or anything interfere with your sense of ethics, you have won an important battle on Thursday. The Sun in visionary Aquarius conjuncts idealistic Neptune in your sector of values, and you will learn just how much of a role model you are in your own corner of the world. You have much more influence than you think you do, so keep that in mind. Valentine's Day may be the cause of dissention between you and a close relative or sibling on Saturday. Your stubborn persona may kick in, and you will adamantly hold onto your own ideas of how to spend the day with your loved one. Try to be a bit more flexible.

Oh crikey. National Humiliation Day again - so soon. Is that why there seem to be so many loved up couples everywhere?! Pre 14th frenzy?

Your Week Ahead: Soon you will know as much as you need to know. Will that make you feel any happier? Or will you then decide that you need to know even more? If you can stop hankering after extra information long enough to digest what you have already attained, you will see you are in a fair position to draw several hopeful conclusions. They don't add up to a guarantee of future success but they do make a pretty impressive set of signs and signals. Mars and Saturn, antagonistically aligned imply that it's time to stop struggling and wondering and gently trust the goal that your heart is already set on.

Your Week Ahead Part Two: Years of experience have prepared you for the situation you face now. Your experience may have been gained in a different field, but it has trained you nonetheless. Don't look at what's seemingly new and unknown, focus on the familiar. Do what you would do if you were in the territory you are at home in. Act as if you have a right to be where you are. It is not by mistake that you have reached your current position. It is by great good fortune. Instinctively, you know what to do next, even if intellectually, you feel baffled. So as we journey towards Valentine's Day, just follow your inner radar. You've already made your most important choice. It won't let you down.

Rice Pudding

takes ages to bake in the oven... and is gone in minutes.

Still my favourite dessert though. Yum!

And now for the BAFTA's.

Virtual Observer

thanks to Neil Spencer of The Observer ( I am experiementing with reading the Sunday paper on line)

Capricorn

Time to - finally - despatch December and January's protracted business. Be prompt, be thorough. Tomorrow's lunar eclipse highlights the ties that bind you to significant others, and how they might be adjusted for a more empathic, forgiving partnership. Joint signatures on documents may be called for. Your Valentine: if not at home, then nearby.

My tip

for the Six Nations.

Ireland.

Moloko

Familiar Feeling


Forever More

Saturday

Okay okay. It doesn't happen very often but today I did not go to Gillingham. It was not a hangover. It was fatigue. The week has been long and testing. The Northern Line between Morden and Stockwell was closed. The flat was a tip.

I woke up aware that all night my back had ached. I had not slept - just had my eyes closed. Knocked out on Nurofen and a Baileys.

As I come too I decide to stay put.

It was not a decision I regretted, well maybe a bit at 2.55pm. But by the time the light had faded and Gillingham had conceded 2 goals I realised that being a football supporter is far more commitment than being a fan. I needed a break. I needed to rest my weary brain.

So instead I spent the day cleaning. Why does this woman love cleaning? Well for me it's twofold. Firstly the weather and snow meant that bottom-floor-flat-stale-water-syndrome was waving through the kitchen et al and I was sick of the smell. Secondly, I get a real sense of achievement when it's all done. It's a great way of doing without THINKING!!!!!!!!! It's brilliant. I can lose myself in manual functionally work. No pressure - just plan the order of rooms and away you go.

I first went to Sainsbury for basic week provisions. Sunday would be cooking day. Saturday sort you home day.

Let my folks know I was staying put and got stuck in. Bathroom first. Then my bedroom. Kitchen and lounge. Finally the hall way. Ah. The difference. The sun came out and all felt good in my space. Some might say it was nesting. Possibly. Its a fairly small space but when its cleaned it looks better. Though I find looking at the floor and some of the walls a tad depressing. Plus the kitchen sink needs to be replaced before it fuses the boiler electrics. Otherwise its fine!! I bought flowers in the morning. At 2.30 I go for my walk and listen to rugby and footie. B&Q in Wimbledon has closed. Weird how there had been no indication.

Homebase and I treat myself to a plant. I hope I can keep it alive.

Pasta & sauce for tea and Green Wing!! OMG I had forgotten just how brilliant that was.

Then bed. Fresh sheets - bliss! Sleep like a baby - well you would having walked 7.33 miles all day!!

Words

I have used very few on Assume Nothing recently. To be honest much of my musing has been written elsewhere - the hidden blog - the blog where I thrash all my true feelings around. Rarely finding answers but it has been therapeutic to get some of it out onto paper as it were. Not to say I have stopped assuming nothing. Just means my mind has been elsewhere and creative posting has therefore dropped down my list of things to do.

Well what a week has just passed. Snow. Never seen it like that in London all the time I have been here (nearly 10 years on and off). You know it is quite intrusive when even the trusty London buses are going nowhere. I did get to the tube on Monday morning. But for once in my life I decided to save myself the frustration and do a sensible thing. Stay home.

It was a different kind of Monday. Had plenty of work related reading to do whilst the soothing tones of the radio kept me soldiering along. The random emails from people in the office or en route to it kept me feeling as if I was at my desk. Could I work from home permanently? Not sure. I find it hard to sit still at home at the best of times. But I do like the idea of getting 2 hours of my day back which I currently lose to commuting. That said the trip in and out is a great time to read and/or exercise. If I sorted my routine I could do it. But then I'd miss the social interaction that comes with an office environment. Ah. Yeah. Maybe working from home would be less distracting. Less complex. Less political. Less fun. On a good day being in the office can be fun and rewarding. I got a glimpse of that this week. That feeling tends though to be the result of your colleagues. Many of my closest friends are ones I have worked with and/or currently do work with. But they getting fewer. Being a manager doesn't help your friendships. Much of the last 3 months it has felt very isolating - management and departures. That said this week I connected with my old boss from Leicester, Annette. And Jonny G and I are always sharing footballing woes. So both of us were quite down yesterday afternoon. The Internet and mobile phones give you access to people you may otherwise lose touch with. These methods are at once a curse and a blessing. I try and keep them a blessing.

SO Tuesday I go to work. My calves aches from the walk I took on the Monday exploring CW and Wimbledon's snow fields. It was a busy and all round good day. Planetface and I went to SOS for lunch and as per usual Gregg and John were in. Planetface was slightly unfortunate with his meatball and chips portion though.

Wednesday. Wednesday starts with a needy missive from Oz. It brings my mood down a few levels. By lunchtime it is sorted. I start to question my assertiveness (lack of) and whether I am just a gullible fool. My holiday looks once again to be up to me. For me. On my own. Oh well. You enter the world alone and leave it as such so it's all good practice!

Thursday. A mediocre day. I go to Sainsos after work and it is heaving. Later I call the Actor in the evening and get his Voicemail. We were due to speak Wednesday to finally catch up but the Everton/Pool game went to ET and by then I was too tired. He has not be in touch since.

Friday. Ah the wretched female curse hits. Back ache. Back ache. Time warp mind. I wake up late. Leave late and then by waiting for a tube I can actually get on arrive late to work. Except at my end of the room there is no-one there. Had I not fessed up no-one would have known. Which is untrue. Of course people should be able to see if you are in - your bag for example. And in my case my coat. My changed trainers for shoes. Lots of tips that can identify if people are in or out. Perhaps I am too observational. Either way the day is a struggle! I can't find a comfortable position. Argh! I get out at lunchtime with Paul to go to the Heart Hospital at Baker Street. He returns his monitor and we go for lunch at a local cafe. It makes a nice change to be further away from the office, despite the dreary weather - its just pleasant to have a different perspective.

Saturday. ah. Well this deserves a separate entry.

Either way the week has felt like a struggle. The weather - thinking about routes, wearing different clothes to deal with the conditions. Just trying to stay warm at work. By the time I get back to CW on Friday all I am capable of is a BK Angus burger and bed. Phew.

Three more weeks and then I have 2 weeks off.. any suggestions?! (Anything!! Cheer me up!!)

Moo!

Beer

Monday snow

I need a

Badger!

I am

bored of the snow now.

My calves ache. My back aches. I want to walk fast and can't. It's cold so I am eating more. My spots are getting worse. My house plants are all dying. My tummy is getting plumper.

All in all I am fed up with it.

Can I hibernate please?

Down to 7th

Well Shrewsbury and Rochdale played and won..
We were due to play Notts Co but the weather stopped our game..and this doesn't give us games in hand.
On another note our manager may be voted Manager of the Month.

And PC Anon - if you are passing - HELLO!! Been thinking of you and your club...jammy gits! ;-)

Snow Patrol..

Set The Fire To The Third Bar
(feat. Martha Wainwright)

I find the map and draw a straight line
Over rivers, farms, and state lines
The distance from here to where you'd be
It's only finger-lengths that I see
I touch the place where I'd find your face
My finger in creases of distant dark places

I hang my coat up in the first bar
There is no peace that I've found so far
The laughter penetrates my silence
As drunken men find flaws in science

Their words mostly noises
Ghosts with just voices
Your words in my memory
Are like music to me

I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
I, I pray that something picks me up
And sets me down in your warm arms

After I have travelled so far
We'd set the fire to the third bar
We'd share each other like an island
Until exhausted, close our eyelids
And dreaming, pick up from
The last place we left off
Your soft skin is weeping
A joy you can't keep in

I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
And I, I pray that something picks me up
and sets me down in your warm arms

I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
and I, I pray that something picks me up
and sets me down in your warm arms

A song to warm our cockles in this chilly weather... I keep drawing a line.

Countdown to try time!

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Late lunch walk

Wandle winter

Snow

Joke

Snow

Basically means no go.

I left the house at the normal time this morning - in thermals and hob nail boots. I got to the tube station. I even got on a train. It went nowhere and told me there were signal failures. The thought of sitting waiting for trains when I could be at home doing the task for the day there was the last nudge needed. I got off train and walked back home.

So today has been spent using remote office reading and judging CV's. I did get out and about for a walk at 2.30pm. Was gone for just over an hour. The roads that haven't had too much action still look quite pretty - and the number of snowmen I saw went into double figures.

Now - winter warmer soup for tea and continuation with the rest of the CV's.

Hope you are all safe and warm.

Turnaround

Although you have experienced problems with your financial affairs in the past, karen, you have plenty to look forward to in the future. The presence of Jupiter in this zone indicates that things are certainly looking up. You may also be gaining insight into why your finances are the way they are. You can see the contributing causes that will help you take positive action. This is a great time for brainstorming and coming up with ideas for other streams of income. The more you put into making your finances buoyant and lively, the more you will get out. Although Jupiter is considered lucky, it works best if you are prepared to put some effort into creating those opportunities. Aside from your finances, you seem to be in fine form. Mercury in your sign is encouraging you to speak out and share your ideas with others. Saturn is currently retrograde in Virgo, so your beliefs may have been holding you back for some time. On Thursday, Saturn will oppose Uranus in your mind zone, bringing enlightenment your way. You may get a new perspective on life that encourages you to change. If you are having difficulty learning anything, you may find that the block vanishes as if of its own accord.

February

Month Ahead
Happier at home, you'll want to snuggle up close more often, to indulge yourself and entertain more in your intimate surroundings. Though you won't be able to idle for long. Your helter skelter schedule with constant disruptions and changes of plan will keep you on your toes. Not everyone around will be doing what they promise or indeed acting predictably. You'll know your finances need care with a few limits going down, partly on your own generosity or sentimentality. You'll need to be more hard headed. It'll also be important not just to focus on your own situation but to look closely at joint finances as well. You'll need to find a balance between protecting your own security and being co-operative. The 17th could be very successful indeed on the cash front. Your highly positive approach will create its own good luck and since you'll be acting with such wholehearted enthusiasm no one will get in your way. Thereafter you'll be kept on the run attending to a great many small tasks under your feet. You won't be bored but will need to be better organised.

Lucky Days: 1, 2, 11, 25, 26
Yucky Days: 5, 6, 12, 26, 27
Fashion Icon: Zooey Deschanel
Colour: Mascarpone
Pluto is continuing to steadily apply pressure to get you to live up to your maximum potential. You feel it in every fibre of your being and you’re ready for the challenge. This month’s intense Lunar Eclipse on 9 February in your health and work sector signals major change, especially for your day-to-day schedule. Evaluate what may have gotten lopsided and make sure to add in plenty of self-care time. With your planetary ruler, Saturn, still retrograde you can continue to take a few steps back in order to go forward. It’s actually fruitful to look backward as long as you understand the lessons and apply them to present situations. Mars leaves your sign but enters your money sector on 4 February for the duration of month, giving you extra gusto. Now you can pursue new financial ventures without fear. Keep in mind – 2009 is the year to feel your fears and do it anyway. By the end of the year you’ll totally understand exactly what this means.

Your February Forecast: When trouble comes, do you stand and face it, or run away? And if you get a few days' notice, do you start to take preventative measures, or do you wait until the hurricane actually hits before fixing the roof? You have that choice now. An old problem is stirring again. The crunch point is still several weeks away, but if you make the right moves right away you can probably avert the crisis before it happens. I know it's hard to work up a sense of urgency when a problem seems so far away, but try. You'll love yourself for it later.

Cheers!

Gills back up to 5th ;)