Which I am finding rather strange... and possibly why I when I saw pictures of the spring flowers I used to keep in SW19 I got all homesick.. but of course its cold and dark back home... and I do need a few months of sunshine.. at least a belated summer cos I've been waiting since Feb!!
November horrors - I don't really follow anymore. My life is a suspended vacuum so just being awake is a minor miracle.. but if I did... then well maybe these would be relevant.
Elle
Neil Spencer
Sunday, November 04, 2012
My word...
it's all changed here since I last put pen to virtual paper and scribed some words of observation.. certainly very little wisdom.
Had to rescue my account and re set password.. how many more passwords must I remember to function in this life? It's all getting a little too much. I don't really want to be ruled by a computer... technology - cyber worlds - there will be a mother nature element there whether we like it or not. Facebook is now possibly my main source of updates. Not that I like it trying to link all my contacts. I want to choose who I connect with on my mobile phone...
It's 12.20pm here in Perth Australia. The weather is showery - except when it rains it completely tips it down. I had plans of walking, to go to the new Arena as its a free open day and then to Coles for some food stocking up. Now tho I'm not so sure I can be bothered. The full on day of cycling and soccer yesterday - plus late night EastEnders catch up sort of rendering me less than fresh today! The thing with a blog is you can read back over time and realise that actually this is not an uncommon sense to have. Whether its here or in the midst of SW19 I am essentially still the same being... singular trying to keep my spirits high with walking, shopping and not getting into a self inflicted emotional downer.
To be fair the last 8 months have pretty much been one long nose dive. Recently joining WeightWatchers has given me a better sense of purpose and the ladies at the meeting are all very friendly I actually look forward to weigh in and meeting - regardless of the weight aspects! It also helps the nightly walking regime I now have in place.
I have just been reading previous blog posts - seeking ... not sure what I was seeking to be honest. Maybe an indication of a time when I was happy. I see largely my posts are not really ever happy - just a stream of thoughts at a time when I had no-one to talk too. Bit like now. SO I have to accept I will largely go through life something of a loner and self motivated by at times random and odd desires.
I am having very vivid dreams about people from my past - work related and non work related I wonder if I should contact these people and try and repair a bridge? I am also dreaming of current peripheral work colleagues - who largely I know little about and probably never will. My time here will not reap a great harvest of close friends. Perhaps the odd one or two who showed a level of care I did not expect. Meanwhile I have made one great friend - without whom I am not sure I would be still sane enough to function without the help of prescription drugs. Truth be told - if beer was cheaper here I may well I have become a total lush - to escape the constant feeling of being a misfit. Instead I am choosing to embrace it and deal with it in different ways. I am very knowledgeable as to the paths in Kings Park Likewise the south and north foreshore. The cycle paths take me KM's away from a usual walking route and I like the freedom.. though the last few trips have been a fight against the wind and yesterday I got nicely wet and returned home with a sand band the length of my bum and back... it was even in my hair! Nice. But it was quiet and the ducks, swans and pelicans were all happily enjoying the rain and the lack of human intervention.
A Saturday ritual was reborn when I went to football. It will never be the same as the Priestfield pilgrimage - but for some light relief and a chance to escape the reality of where I am and what I am, or not, doing it helps. The NIB is being rebuilt around the fans - so it lacks a sense of sheer stadium pleasure - but its okay and nicely within walking distance of home.
Its left off raining and I feel the need to go for a walk and listen to The Archers pod cast .. then maybe the Arena and then some shopping.. I will endeavour to return with some more words. Unless I decide to email peoples past and present with whom I wish I could just call or meet for a beer.
Had to rescue my account and re set password.. how many more passwords must I remember to function in this life? It's all getting a little too much. I don't really want to be ruled by a computer... technology - cyber worlds - there will be a mother nature element there whether we like it or not. Facebook is now possibly my main source of updates. Not that I like it trying to link all my contacts. I want to choose who I connect with on my mobile phone...
It's 12.20pm here in Perth Australia. The weather is showery - except when it rains it completely tips it down. I had plans of walking, to go to the new Arena as its a free open day and then to Coles for some food stocking up. Now tho I'm not so sure I can be bothered. The full on day of cycling and soccer yesterday - plus late night EastEnders catch up sort of rendering me less than fresh today! The thing with a blog is you can read back over time and realise that actually this is not an uncommon sense to have. Whether its here or in the midst of SW19 I am essentially still the same being... singular trying to keep my spirits high with walking, shopping and not getting into a self inflicted emotional downer.
 |
| The Arena (blue and white thing... 'squashed beer can'..) |
I have just been reading previous blog posts - seeking ... not sure what I was seeking to be honest. Maybe an indication of a time when I was happy. I see largely my posts are not really ever happy - just a stream of thoughts at a time when I had no-one to talk too. Bit like now. SO I have to accept I will largely go through life something of a loner and self motivated by at times random and odd desires.
I am having very vivid dreams about people from my past - work related and non work related I wonder if I should contact these people and try and repair a bridge? I am also dreaming of current peripheral work colleagues - who largely I know little about and probably never will. My time here will not reap a great harvest of close friends. Perhaps the odd one or two who showed a level of care I did not expect. Meanwhile I have made one great friend - without whom I am not sure I would be still sane enough to function without the help of prescription drugs. Truth be told - if beer was cheaper here I may well I have become a total lush - to escape the constant feeling of being a misfit. Instead I am choosing to embrace it and deal with it in different ways. I am very knowledgeable as to the paths in Kings Park Likewise the south and north foreshore. The cycle paths take me KM's away from a usual walking route and I like the freedom.. though the last few trips have been a fight against the wind and yesterday I got nicely wet and returned home with a sand band the length of my bum and back... it was even in my hair! Nice. But it was quiet and the ducks, swans and pelicans were all happily enjoying the rain and the lack of human intervention.
 |
| The clouds coming in last Monday ... |
Its left off raining and I feel the need to go for a walk and listen to The Archers pod cast .. then maybe the Arena and then some shopping.. I will endeavour to return with some more words. Unless I decide to email peoples past and present with whom I wish I could just call or meet for a beer.
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