Come on u Gills!

What a pleasant afternoon!

Refreshing

What a change an hour or so with new people makes .. actually having discussions and being made to think on your feet without the responsibility of anyone else except yourself. No weight of expectation. No competitive nonsense. Actually knowing you are being listened too. Reminding yourself of the journey you have made and the qualities you do have to offer. And laughing.

Mm.

So remind me again why am I still in the same spot? Is it because I am too loyal. Stuck in my ways. Scared?

How long am I going to be this foolish for? Grr.

Anyway. Watch 'Lead Balloon'. It's good.

Mm

Cosy bedtime

Wednesday

Pluto moves into my sign... and erm. Nothing has changed!

Well a very early start left home at 7.35 am (just what I needed after my chilly pitch side experience) and I finally got out of the building they call work at gone 6.30pm. No wonder I yawned through my last meeting... And all hopes of a day off to go to the RAH for tennis are fading.. soz Mazza. xx

Right bed... ah snuggle into my duvet with my doggy hot water bottle mmm. BLISS! A hug would be just as nice too of course. Oh well.

Thank M & S

For thermals. 1 all. Boo

Bugger

Its cold! Thermals on-mm sexy huh!

Karoona Star'fish'

Not quite 5 legs (or whatever they are!) but 44 lengths of the pool. Which was shade cooler than I was hoping for!! Hey ho. It was warmer than the office today - which had zilch heating and my feet were like blocks of ice...

In other news... I am not a celebrity but if I was I would be yelling to get me out of that camp.. what a vile slice of life.

The new coco pops

Advert uses a great tune by Terence Trent D'Arby... 'Sign Your Name (Across my Heart)' - haven't listened to that album for AGES... so quality reminder!

Yoh Planetface - let's drool!

Fast forward to 1.59 min!! :-)

Dynamic Change

This is an important week for you, as Pluto will be moving into your sign on Wednesday. It will stay in Capricorn until 2024, and in the process, it will transform your approach to life and living. You will also begin express yourself more powerfully and dynamically. You will need to be sensitive to those to whom you're close. There may be a tendency to think that your word is law. It would help your relationships, especially the more intimate ones, if you put yourself in the other person's shoes from time to time. There is a major focus on your spiritual and karmic zone, which seems very positive and uplifting. Mars is helping to stir things up by encouraging you to explore your beliefs, especially those that tend to lie just beneath the surface of your awareness. You will notice these because they trigger events in your day-to-day life and continue to do so until you sort out the problem at the source. These issues may become more frequent. You may meet people that you feel you have known from another life. A New Moon in your spiritual zone on Thursday makes this an excellent time to start a spiritual practice, such as meditation, yoga, or tai chi.

------

This week you may be restricted in what you can achieve. At times you may not be clear why you feel frustrated. But you need to listen to the subtle cues and pick up on the undercurrents in the surrounding atmosphere. Regard this as a planning and preparation phase. Your sensitivity to the needs of others will make you a good listener. And you may find yourself counselling and caring for others, more than usual at the moment.

Your Week Ahead: You are good at what you do. But is this because you never let yourself do what you aren't any good at? Or not while anyone is looking, at any rate. You are not proud, but you do take pride in your ability to do a job well. Right now, though, you are beginning to wonder whether you have bitten off more than you can chew. You feel exposed, vulnerable, conscious of the possibility that you could make a dreadful mistake at any moment. That's great. As long as you remain aware of that danger, you won't put a foot wrong. Venus is in your sign. Love, wealth, popularity and creativity are all on offer to you.
Week Ahead Part Two: 'Mirror mirror, on the wall... who's the fairest Capricorn of all?' This is not, really, a likely question. It's hard to imagine anyone born under your sign requesting a reply, especially from an inanimate object made of glass. But, then, these are exceptional times we are living through. Just ask the International Monetary Fund. If banks, those bastions of stability can need the kiss of life... if heroes like Obama can get into the White house... why can't Capricorns suddenly turn a little vain? It won't last long. It doesn't need to. Right now, you are the fairest. Venus is in your sign. Numerous admirers insist you're the top of their list. Act with the dignity that you'd expect a pin-up to show!

Virginia 5.3

My new hair colour.

Discovery of the weekend? Lopping off 4ins from my denim skirt makes it short obviously - and much more wearable ... even when its a bit a chilly! ooh ahh.

And this morning between 10.30 and 11.45 was perhaps the most optimistic time to go out - I came home soaked. BUT Primark in Tooting was quiet and I could make purchase with ease! Hey ho.

Anyone else gonna watch Survivors after Top Gear?! mmm.

Have a good week all.

Oh dear...

I appear to be watching the X-Factor results show... do I stick or twist?! MOTD!?

Good to see the Gills return to form away from home ..NOT!!

It never looks

Like this when i make it :)

Lush colours

Mmm a tasty drop!

My leaf

A year on

Happy 3rd Birthday!

Yes today 'Assume Nothing' is 3YO...

So that's 3 years of dirge I have been serving up for possibly no one else's pleasure except my own!

And they said it wouldn't last!! (Previous B-d posts; 1YO and 2YO) Not sure either reveal too much? I can reveal I am still very much in touch with the Actor who suggested I start blogging, though he himself has stopped blogging for personal reasons. I spotted a friend had made the odd post or two recently which cheered me. Otherwise - I am still on a roller coaster! The divided personality lives!

To celebrate I have taken a day off and after a lazy morning of getting up when my body wanted too and not when the alarm said - I have been for my walk, sorted my wardrobe (de-clutter or excuse to purchase more shoes/clothes? not yet sure) AND made the double trip to put said sorted clothes into recycling bins. Which means I have reclaimed my bath!! Amazing! SO now in preparation of a wander round the shops later this afternoon I am gonna have a nice soak. Oh yeah and some breakfast.. oats anyone?

My PhotoAlbum

At last I have managed to connect camera to PC! Hooray!

The transfer was quick now I am fighting broadband to get said decent pix onto my new online photoalbum...!! Check it out...

Oh MO

The Marx Sisters.... (not sure what is worse... the tash or the triple smily chin?!)

Best have a think about it...
Yes a birthday party where moustaches were the theme of the evening...like I need a stick-on one?!

Teynham

was mentioned on Five Live this morning.. as part of the traffic report. Fame huh!

Unbelieve-able -

Strictly goes mad!! And the judges don't like that 'what the public do' - so the honourable man has to walk....tsk.

Hormones..

why oh why do they over shadow all rational thought and make everything seem like the end of the safe world...

Suffice to say I have managed to pull myself over the hump of despair that trapped me at the end of last week. Maybe having my Pop safely back in the country helped.

Maybe knowing that Sparky got home in time and can now spend some proper time with his Mum has heartened me. It does mean of course he is job hunting and I have no idea if and when he will return. I am just glad he has the opportunity to be where he is needed as opposed to hiding from his responsibilities through 1,000s miles of distance...

Maybe its the decision to take Friday as leave and treat myself to 3 days of me-time. I have a wardrobe of clothes that need sorting out again. I have a lost ring to look for, after Mum realised it was no longer on her finger after last week. I have plenty to occupy me, and I have a long overdue lay in to relish.

I just need to rest my brain. I can't change the situations. I can though stop clamming up and actually articulate how I feel and for once learn to deal with the consequences of being honest as opposed to censoring what I say having already walked through the reactions and decided it's not going to be helpful. I hate it when people tell me how I will react or behave, so I should apply the same to myself. We are each entitled to make our own choice based on what we know. I do know my head is all over the place. Distracted would sum it up.

A friend commented I did not want to be loved.

I suspect there is an element of truth in it... I don't feel able to accept myself as deserving of it. I dis-trust its meaning based on previous experiences, I long for security and have trained myself to only trust myself. Look where it has got me...And yet when said by certain people it feels true. I want to embrace it. I want to wear a stupid grin and be airy. Cat with the cream. Ah well.

A discussion with a former colleague revealed last night that my life has not budged for the last 18 months whereas his has. He seemed more alert and enthused than I recall. It was good to catch up and lay things to rest. It was good to be out with the team. Even on a Tuesday. But unnerving to realise that my life has not altered that much at all. Promotion. Swimming. Mm. I must not dwell on the things I cannot change. But I can think seriously about a long holiday somewhere warm and interesting....

Ah yes btw - Gills v Stockport FAC2 - ta Pop for getting my ticket!!

Mind Evolution

You feel much better about yourself and your life than you have recently, karen, and in fact, the optimism you feel inside yourself shows on your face and is apparent in the way you interact with others. Lovely Venus is currently in Capricorn and your sector of self, and you are presenting a very appealing persona to the world in general. On Thursday, the Moon in health-conscious Virgo trines Venus, and you decide to make your feeling of well-being a permanent part of your life. You'll investigate ways to pump up your biorhythm and make sure that you exercise and eat properly. Be certain that you are getting enough sunlight and that you have green plants around you in your living space. On Friday, you may change the way you think as Jupiter in Capricorn trines Saturn in your philosophy sector. You have been known to be a bit rigid and inflexible in your thinking patterns, and now you will be ready and willing to evolve your mindset in a very expansive way. You will open yourself up to a lot of new and original viewpoints, and part of that process will be your exploration of spiritual and religious organizations and programs.

Casualty

Watching it now on iPlayer... Karen... lives in a flat with her parents. As well as catching mice they are all suffering sleep deprivation form their noisy upper neighbour....mmm so familiar... ah and now a leak from above. My script.. they used it!!!

Darn it...

Run out of time - and I had so much to share too....

Hey ho. Here's a whistle stop summary.

The Gills won. (Score flatters to deceive and the home crowd want a constant fight with the stewards). Andy Hamilton was average. (He should stay as 'Old Harry' in my mind - far too much recycled material)
Both events made me wonder what audience I should really sit in as I felt as if I did not belong in either.

My new musical purchases have kept me occupied.(Sasha - Invol2ver & Oakenfold's Greatest Hits & Remixes) As has a rather rejuvenating wander through my C-D collection. Ah. I love Placebo. As I have grown up so have they - and boy do their songs reflect a moment in time... 'Lady of the Flowers', 'Ask for Answers', 'Brick Shithouse', 'Infra-red' etc etc...

Have decided the antidote to 'feeling' alone is to keep 'doing' stuff - to think about real problems/issues. Rather than the what ifs. (Ah but not work related ones. Work is something I very much trying to blot out. I keep dreaming of periphery soon to be central people and it gives me an uneasy sense).

Thursday and Friday were odd days, but I cannot be selfish and absorbed by own 'feelings', for once those that Sparky are about to experience are far more important and I have to be strong and as there for him, as anyone who is half way round the world can be...I have shed many a tear over the last 8 days. An article in the Observer had me in tears on the tube. Texts from my bro. Items on TV. Goodbyes. Must go's. No regrets. Lingering kisses and holding on so tight to make it last longer. The lurch in the stomach as words are said. No regrets.

Warm up

Convincing!?

Call Night

A very proud moment ..

Dining @ Middle Temple.

I did that once upon a time very long ago

Shell shocked

And I am too far away to be of use.



Why is life so rotten?

It's lunchtime..

that's the only reason I am here.

I have been so busy or tired that the last thing I have wanted to do is boot up my PC at home and write - and yet in being so apathetic I have lost the moments of so many things over the last well month I guess... I have footie games I need to report on. My trip to Exeter remains a chapter unwritten. My new camera - I did get round to installing software but still not moved photos off of the thing!

On Monday I felt abandoned. Well Friday afternoon actually. My Pops is in the US chasing aircraft and sunlight. My Sparky friend departed Kent as soon as they piloted the gas tanks to Edinburgh and Ireland. My friend at work bid farewell to begin maternity leave. I got quite emotional. I had taken on the responsibility of getting a leaving gift. It bought home to me the true wonder of bringing a new being into the world. The complete expression of love. And if anyone deserves all the happiness - it is Cam. Our friendship has matured and now we are as close as we once were. Yet there's some much I don't say. Handing her her leaving present and seeing her so at ease after work made me realise how much of a space would be left (no puns intended) now she won't be in the office. Gonna miss her. And the final no show for a week - my boss has gone to checkout the rain in Spain, falling softly on the plains. So I really have been staring at walls.

Except I haven't. Friday evening was a darn fine evening in the pub. Saturday was not such a fine day in the hangover department. But my recollections of the evening before were all received with a knowing glow. Finally a connection is made. Sunday catch ups. Monday night was swimming - 40 lengths and no passes (even with seemingly all the team there). Tuesday was beer fest night at the Wetherspoons. Yesterday I had an afternoon off. And now I just feel as if something/one is missing. Like something is waiting to happen.

Chicago

Took Mazza to a musical tonight... Chicago.

It was swell!

Argh. . .

Open Your Eyes..

All this feels strange and untrue
And I won't waste a minute without you
My bones ache, my skin feels cold
And I'm getting so tired and so old

The anger swells in my guts
And I won't feel these slices and cuts
I want so much to open your eyes
'Cause I need you to look into mine

Tell me that you'll open your eyes [x4]

Get up, get out, get away from these liars
'Cause they don't get your soul or your fire
Take my hand, knot your fingers through mine
And we'll walk from this dark room for the last time

Every minute from this minute now
We can do what we like anywhere
I want so much to open your eyes
'Cause I need you to look into mine

Tell me that you'll open your eyes [x8]

All this feels strange and untrue
And I won't waste a minute without you

cf Snow Patrol

This was the shot

Great promise

Friends and associates act as a catalyst for your good fortune. Monday is well-starred as the Sun aspects both Jupiter and Uranus. If you are invited out anywhere, do take up the offer. You will be given some great opportunities to advance your goals. Some of the offers you get may come out of the blue, so you need to be alert in order to take advantage of these. Expect the unexpected, and most of all, expect it to be a fabulous day. When the Sun sextiles Saturn on Tuesday, you may get a very solid proposal that will help you to make headway; it will be hard work, but you will be rewarded for doing it well. Thursday brings more opportunities when Jupiter sextiles Uranus, something that doesn't happen very often. This is one time when you will be truly inspired to take a risk. You will experience the phenomenon of an idea whose time has come. You will have that wonderful sense of knowing that whatever you embark upon, you can easily succeed at it. However, despite all these wonderful influences, don't take any risks on Thursday, especially if they involve a lot of money. After this, you are on safe ground once again.

What a day...

A new American President.

A new start for the US - let's hope a new start for us, the world.

Heard the news at 6am with Radio Five Live - am amazed and heartened.

Read the news etc on the beeb website..

Wheel Of Fortune

This week, you spin the wheel of fortune, karen, and you won't know from one day to the next what the outcome will be. You enjoy feeling safe and secure by establishing a daily routine, but you know that life doesn't always conform to plan. On Tuesday, your ruler, Saturn, opposes erratic Uranus, and you will encounter some unpredictable experiences. People you thought you could trust may not be fully reliable, and conversely, someone you didn't think you could count on will be there for you. Now that Jupiter, the planet of blessings, is in your sector of self, you know that the real key to your contentment is to take a stand in your own life. Once you make sure that you take charge of your own happiness, you will stop depending on other people to make you feel happy or fulfilled. Have your car checked out on Saturday as the Moon conjuncts Uranus in Pisces. You may have an undetected oil leak, among other issues, so consider getting a car maintenance tune-up. You don't want to turn the key in the ignition and find out that your car is on the blink, especially if you are already late for an appointment!

For the record Mister Horoscope Man - I do not have a car... so what should I do on Saturday instead?!?

Well done!

Lewis World Championship winner