Opposition

Home, sweet home, karen, and the focus on this area of your chart suggest that you have some issues to deal with here. You are not backward in coming forward or making suggestions that you think might improve the way the household is run. But as Venus continues to be retrograde in this zone, you may find that other issues get in the way of your personal agenda. Your latest lover may be refusing to think about moving in with you, even though you have been seriously dating for some time. Whatever you do, don't try to force it. Pluto in your sign means you are a lot more forceful lately, which could work against you. Venus does make a challenging aspect to Pluto on Friday, so this is one day when you may cause upset by trying to tell your lover what to do; hold back. As Mars moves to oppose Saturn on Saturday, you may find that your beliefs are preventing from being more adventurous. If you are signing legal contracts, you may find that the other party is nitpicking at details that aren't relevant. Even so, you need to be patient. Your finances look good as long as you remember to stay in control.

Up the Gills!

Sunset Friday

Today

I wore pink tights. People stared.

And so

The sunset on my leave

Elementary

My dear Watson!

Todays

Trip

Up the Gills!

Best make most of it ;)

Mmm

Imperial War Museum

Happy Monday morning

Everyone!

I have just made the most use of the Internet ever to sort my bills and insurance stuff out...uSwitch is a useful site to visit...

Now I can free my mind to plan in my holidays for the next holiday year... 2 lots of 8 day trips methinks.

Anyone see Yellowstone on TV? or Come Dine with Me? All I watched all day.

Spent another several hours shredding yet more unrequired papers. Why o why!? Thanks to paperless bills I won't have to do it so much in future. I had gas/leccy bills from Sept 2003... i suspect I have been here too long!!

The week ahead looks good for weather and so a few trips out and about must be my aim.

Have a good week all...

Gillingham 2 Shrewsbury 2

Mm.
Weston struck an amazing ball from beyond the penalty area to get our first goal. it was that good a goal we didn't believe it went in! It did! Euphoria. And we were only 4 minutes into the game (I had by then already had a set too with the kids behind me).

The rest of the half passed by with little to shout about. Still unable to build any play.

Half time was spent in the kindergarten being showered with ringo crisps and generally bumped.

Second half we started a bit better. Then at the other end an perfect opportunity which Southall took. 2 up we looked quite safe. Then Shrewsbury got a second wind and a penalty. Dodgy.

I have never before seen such aggression and hatred from the Rainham End; they all piled to the front and crowded round the back of the goal hurling abuse and waving their hands. It was ugly. They scored. Had to retake and scored again.

We lost the drive and Shrewsbury deserved their point.

The walk to the station witnessed a Gills youth hurling abuse at a Shrews fan - his mum had to hold him back. I wonder at times if these kids really understand the game. Their passion is revealed in less and less pleasant ways.

I was glad to get on the train and nurse my much oft kicked bum.

Musing

With my blog

Blank spaces

It comes to me as I sit here finally blogging HOW MUCH I have failed to post recently - February turned into a barron writing month huh! And with so many things to report. Films seen. Footie watched. Trips to other places. Where to start?

Erm not sure - in fact part of me suspects the moment is all but gone. However I will post up on the dates things happened. Sure you can find them if you look in between the few posts I have managed.

Red Riding #2

Gave me nightmares.
Watch for yourself

Day 5: Friday 13th

So on this Red Nose Day I find myself at the end of my 1st of 2 weeks away from the office. To say its tiring is an understatement.

This morning I roused myself and went for a walk, knee strapped, uncombed hair and my second pair of buy one get one free spectacles. 9am. A promising start to my day. The usual route. No particular reasons. No purchases required. The clouds were trying to go higher and allow the sun to pour through but the weight of blue sky beyond prevented a full bright picture emerging. I walked gingerly. Not my usual high speed thud but a reasonable speed. The knee twinging and reminding me it was not okay. I think hobbling and looking eccentric is a good way of avoiding attention. Or conflict.

As I walk it feels unlike usual. Walking on a weekday presents different challenges. More traffic. After 10.30am plenty of pushchairs and prams. Mothers pushing while trying to cradle a mobile in the neck and continue reaching out beyond the pushing. The cars. Fewer than the weekend. Lorries, buses and vans cruise the roads. Businesses on the move. Weekend traffic is less obvious, less frustrated.

I wander towards Wimbledon Mags court. People loiter outside. I think they believe I am due to plea. I am not. The irony of thinking I could be in there representing one of the loiterers is not lost on me as they cast their stares. I continue. Undeterred. Wimbledon draws closer. I have decided books are the answer. I will spend the afternoon on the sofa with my knee raised and read. Lovely idea. But mind wanders.

I go straight to Waterstones. 3 for 2. Perfect. I finally get hold of Alice Sebold's latest - The Almost Moon. Then I spy The Damned United by David Peace. In truth the back of my mind was intent on purchasing Wetlands. It was in the 3 for 2 pile, but as a hard back it was more than I was willing to pay. I trawl through the other piles. Bookshops before 10.30am are quiet and thoughtful. I was the only one in there. Paradise. A million different people to be. A millions different places to be. A million possible outcomes.

I find what I am looking for. A compilation. Erotic fiction.

I purchase my books.

I toddle into Next. Suddenly there is no rush home - just the inner knowledge of how my afternoon reading could be.

After Next, I go and get a Mothers Day card. Just cos the folks are Down Under does not mean I can't send her a card. I have missed her. Our chats. This is my taster of the future and it daunts me. New Look. Is moving to the Tandem Centre. Nice. Nothing else I want. I go the long route home via the trading estate and Sunhill Station. Homebase for some Hycianths. I love the smell as they bloom.

In anticipation of my afternoon reading I go to Starbucks and get a large latte to take away - so much better now I have discovered the art of ordering a wet one. I am amazed at the number of young attractive men in there. I feel slightly annoyed I look like the eccentric old lady. But actually am comfortable with it so smile regardless. I have a purpose. I sashay out of the coffee shop and head home.

Home. Ah sweet home. No post.

I disrobe of trackie bottoms and t-shirts. I have to get the blessed knee support off before my knee explodes. Ah hot shower and I feel human again. I dry newly dyed/cut hair and put on one of the dresses that hang hidden in the bathroom. Never to see the stage. Hell know why. I fancy I look rather fetching in this red flowered dress. The v-neck slightly lower than I'd like for public shows but fine for pottering.

I put some washing in the machine. Switch on Five Live and listen to the Film Review. Plump up the pillows, lie back and start reading.

Suffice to say lost afternoons like these are hard to come by, but when they happen it's at once tiring and exhilarating.

Oh to share them!

Day 4: Thursday 12th

Thursday and the beat goes on.
I get up early. Dye my hair. Get ready to go out a bit later on. I then spend an hour calling and on Ticketmaster website trying to secure Mum & I tickets for the Wimbledon Centre Court roof test. An hour and no joy.

My friend texts to say she is on her way into town. I cannot stall. I must not leave Camilla and Benedict waiting around for me. Yes today is, meet the new addition day, and I am excited, and nervous! As it turns out we share a lovely couple of hours, having a coffee, walking, having lunch while I sit and absorb the enormity of the life change Camilla holds in her arms. He is a right little belter. A true cutie. And his mum is relaxed and happy and we both talk nineteen to the dozen about so much. I miss her calming influence and warmth in the office. Its feels like the ice age has passed since we last met. I feel especially honoured as its their first trip into town - on the bus, with pram and all the baby paraphelnia needed to keep baby fed, watered and clean! After we arrange our next catch up I see them safely on the No 9 bus and wander towards the Mall.

The Queen Mum now has her own statute. With her hubby.

Meanwhile the lake in St James Park is drained and being drudged to rid it of the silt. Ah St James Park. Takes me back to a very warm sunny day in June 1999. Bottle of wine and the intimacy of a friend who did want to but could not be with me. London has places like these with ghosts and memories. This one always makes me smile. How I long for a sunny day of frolicks in the park once more.

This pigeon has bagsed the best spot. On the head son.


The one in the water kept gliding round the rock. Very amusing.
Today was a good day - until the knee packed in. Grr.

Day 3: Wednesday 11th

The day my mood changed. Amazing what seeing a fellow human for lunch and a haircut can do.
Got home and became an earth mother - merrily baking cakes and making 2 batches of cheese scones. Bliss. Tomorrow is a the day I have been looking forward too...

Gillingham 1 Darlington 0

For the first and only time in my life I missed the goal.

What a way to end the day.

The train from Victoria completely un-relaxing. I got a seat not facing the way I am travelling which makes me feel sick and after a while hurts my neck.

As the train rolled into darkness last night I found myself questioning the whole premise of life. Houses. Cars. Lights. Trains. Everything. Was this really what the earth was intended for? The commuter train was depressing me. Commuter hell. 18.04 packed to the rafters with buzzing mobiles. My seat was not facing the direction we were travelling and this makes me feel a bit sick and after a while hurts my neck. Staring out the window I spot the moon. And a large cloud moving slowly across the city. The red of sunset frames the cloud. The red. The deep grey cloud. More contrasts for my day. Beyond the cloud clear sky and the moon and aircraft lights heading into the gloomy cloud and destined for Heathrow. Usually a train to Medway fills me with a sense of purpose and calm. But not this evening. Monday I had been angry for much of the day. Invisible. Today. Frayed.

Now as the train snaked towards the east I realised that Pops would not be there and if I was honest I would rather be at home watching Enders, Holby, Mistresses and Mad Men. Sad huh!

So I arrive at Gillingham and it is colder than forecast - glad I put my thermal vest on. I purchase a match day lottery ticket, first time ever, and then a cup of hot chocolate. No point waiting I take to my seat. Arfur arrives and says hello. Colin arrives and doesn't. As the whistle blows the twins and Chris turn up. I am unfazed. I am cold and a rather portly gentleman is taking up the two seats to my left. The teams have swapped ends. Unusual.

And there then follows 45mins of utter dirge.

15mins when I do not win the match day lottery. Where I eat my WW wafer bar. Where portly man stands so close to me his elbow nearly has my eye out.

Gillingham have forgotten how to pass. To each other. At all. It's in the air and uncontrolled. The game is not improving second half. Madness descends and Stimson takes Oli off ahead of McCammon, for cup hero Barcham. I cannot believe we appear to be playing 4-2-4. What the bloomin hell has happened to our midfield? McCammon then scores. Except the ref is being a pedant and wants to give us a free kick for a foul on Weston. Cheers mate. We score and you decide we deserve something for a much earlier foul. The game continues. I say game. It is more like torture by a thousand missed headers and deliberate give aways. 3 minutes added time is signalled. I have lost interest. Faith. My train beckons and I want to warm my feet up. I descend. I need the loo so against all my experience and better judgement I go. Usually I stand in the tunnel and see out the final minutes. Well as I am relieving myself we are awarded a penalty and go on to score and the final whistle blows. I miss the whole bloody lot. Station. Over excited bunch of lads (who I have never seen on the train before) treat me as if I am once again invisible. I get shirty. I find a seat and hide in 6-0-6.

So with our team unable to string any passes together or defend or push forwards I wonder how on earth we just got 3 points and pushed ourselves into 5th. Miracle. IS this play off form?

Erm. See other match reports I need still to post.

UTG.

Day 2: Tuesday 10th

Mm. Day one of my week off was largely spent fretting. About work. About life. About me. Monday was about sorting the pile of correspondence and dealing with those last minute things I failed to do Friday before being dragged out to the pub.

Tuesday I decide to do something, anything.

So I go to the cinema and watch 'The Reader'. For those of you who have not seen or heard any news this was the film Kate Winslet finally got her Oscar for. And I can see why.
It's a very finely made film. The plot brings to the surface a whole myriah of moral questions. Things I ask myself. What would I do? Which morals are worth breaking - who makes them anyway? Dilemmas. Day to day. What do you do when you feel one thing but know another is the correct path.
I was not entirely sure what I was expecting but I left the cinema emotionally jarred. I walked home realising that during my time in the cinema it had rained. A film and a day of contrasts. The contrasts. Before. After. The church. 'The' church. Literate. Illiterate.
Dark and warm cinema.
Commuter train from Victoria and football. However my thoughts were elsewhere. Faraway from a cold and damp football pitch.

The road

To Priestfield

Bleed

Like the craze. (Or radiator)

'Red Riding'

With a raised knee I settled down to 2 hours of Channel Four and the much publicised Red Riding. A trilogy of programmes from the novels of David Peace. Tonight 1974 - I was a year old. I love a good cop drama - especially when its interspersed with scenery like the moors. Not sure why but crime back then seemed more sinister because the policing methods (I perceive) were that much more basic than today's science and rule book. My unhealthy fascinating for the Strangeways riots probably got me sucked into my law degree - it was always Criminal Law and Criminology that got me enthused. Not the conflicts of law or jurisprudence. But just trying to work out why people did what they did and then ended up locked up. The biggest case in the media as I grew up was Jamie Bulger - it shocked and rocked a nation. The image of the youngster and the grainy cctv footage.

So here comes Red Riding. Neither was this a fairy tale. No red riding hoods here. Just anguish and pain. The sepia filming added to the atmosphere and I for one look forward to the next two episodes.

My

left knee is buggered. Think I over walked it yesterday and now it really hurts....ouch...

I did

something rather stupid this evening.

And I also did something v sensible. I called my friend Lisa and as opposed to ranting madly to myself I talked it over with a human being. My doormat tag has to be corrected. I have to stop being so bloody nice.

At least Spurs won this evening. Or something.

Downhill...

Lucky Days: 1, 2, 10, 19, 20
Yucky Days: 5, 6, 12, 26, 27
Fashion Icon: Sienna Miller
Color: Bronze
The inner conflict between your stop-and-go impulses is pulling you apart at the seams this month. Some heavy planetary tensions are creating chaos right now. Your best strategy is to find a happy harmony: indulge both needs rather than fiercely choosing sides. Don’t get lost in a hopeless boomerang pattern between your yeses and nos. Through it all there is an amazing opportunity for deep transformation, if you can see past the daily tensions. If it all gets to be too much, the full moon on 10 March in your travel sector is the perfect excuse to take a much-needed break and sort things out during a fabulous weekend getaway. Problems on the home front are better dealt with after the New Moon on 26 March anyway, so don’t let misplaced feelings of duty deter you from taking time for yourself. You deserve a break, and you’ve been promising yourself one for eons already. Take some time off for you and you alone, Capricorn.
--------------
Month Ahead Happier at home, you'll want to snuggle up close more often, to indulge yourself and entertain more in your intimate surroundings. Though you won't be able to idle for long. Your helter skelter schedule with constant disruptions and changes of plan will keep you on your toes. Not everyone around will be doing what they promise or indeed acting predictably. You'll know your finances need care with a few limits going down, partly on your own generosity or sentimentality. You'll need to be more hard headed. It'll also be important not just to focus on your own situation but to look closely at joint finances as well. You'll need to find a balance between protecting your own security and being co-operative. The 17th could be very successful indeed on the cash front. Your highly positive approach will crate its own good luck and since you'll be acting with such wholehearted enthusiasm no one will get in your way. Thereafter you'll be kept on the run attending to a great many small tasks under your feet. You won't be bored but will need to be better organised.

------------

or something...

Quality TV!

Mad March

So February has ended. The spring it doth approach.

Am listening to the Carling Cup final and praying for a Tottenham win. A family tradition.

I feel a need to write up several posts about the last few weeks. However just when I suspect I have worked it out and want to share - other people seem to determined to test my resolve and I am glad I did not. Suffice to say the leopard doesn't change its spots. Unfortunately this old bird has got the foresight to not get sucked in again. Its a hard thing to regain trust. Not that I think I really had it back.

Ah well. I can either be supportive and helpful - or wash my hands of the hassle. I have got used to being my own counsel and support so either option is feasible for me.

New specs

New point of view maybe?