2009

I am shamelessly going to recycle these questions and see how 2009 compares to 2008!

1. What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?
* Saw Pearl Jam, went on holiday by myself, walked in MBT's.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
* Not sure I made any for 2009, and if it was to continue not smoking I shamefully failed. So this year - lose some pounds, quit smoking, enjoy life.

3. How will you be spending New Year's Eve?
* Yet to be determined. Hiding?

4. Did anyone close to you die?
* Yes. In shockwave circumstances too.

5. What countries did you visit?
* Tunisia. Ireland.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
* More hugs!

7. What date from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
* May 23rd. Wembley. Gillingham got promoted!! Hooray! (contrast last year!)
* July 2nd. My flat. Surprising my Mum with my brother being there!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
* Getting myself finally on holiday.

9. What was your biggest failure?
* Starting to smoke again.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
* I fell on some ice and knackered my knee early on in the year.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
* MBT's. A holiday.

12. Where did most of your money go?
* Food. Footie. Fags.

13. What song will always remind you of 2009?
* 'Footsteps', Pearl Jam live @ the O2 18th Aug

14. What do you wish you'd done more of?
* Walking. Blogging.

15. What do you wish you'd done less of?
* Smoked.

16. What was your favourite TV program?
* Doctor Who.

17. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
* Not really. My dislikes remain the same.

18. What was the best book you read?
* The Damned United.

19. What was your greatest musical discovery?
* Jazz!

20. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
* Simeon Jackson in the 89th minute (!?)

21. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
* Best not say, though there are several.

22. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
* Seeing PJ. Seeing Pat Rafter.

23. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Happier.
ii. thinner or fatter? Fatter.
iii. richer or poorer? Richer.

24. How did you spend Christmas?
* With Ma & Pa and a tops Christmas Pudding!

25. Did you fall in love in 2009?
* Yes.

26. How many one-night stands?
* None.

27. What did you want and get?
* Promotion. Well done the Gills!

28. What did you want and not get?
* Younger!

29. What was your favorite film of this year?
* 'The Reader'

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
* Again so long ago. I was 36 in 2009 and I had the day off work, walked and went to the cinema to see 'Australia', which I thought was a tops film.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
* More holidays!

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
* Footwear is about comfort and quick walking!

33. What kept you sane?
* Walking. Lots. And reading.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
* Pat Rafter! Good to see him again at the tennis!

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
* Feckless people and credit cards. STILL!! The banks. The government bailing them out.

36. Who did you miss?
* My brother. Esp as he was over for such a short time.

37. Who was the best new person you met?
* Benedict.

40. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009:
* Its not the quantity of my friends but the quality of them that keeps me sane. Which is still as true this year as last. And to have faith.

Blogging

For some reason people my blog activity has been pretty sparse since August. I can only put this down to Facebook becoming an easier medium and my blessed PC getting slower by the day. It makes it look as if I haven't had a life for several months - which is far from true!

The footie season reached an epic climax and had anyone told me I would be revisiting Wembley I would have scoffed. But I did and the result was sublime. This was also the period of planning my Mum's surprise birthday treats with Dad and Stu. Early July was indeed very special as a result.

Once my brother returned to Oz though I was quite depressed. Bereft. The support I craved was not as robust as I had hoped and so the summer became a real time for inner reflection. I spent the August Bank Holiday completely angry with myself and resolved to free my mind and start living my life again, as the independent and single minded person I know I am. So I resolved to stop hoping and mentally changed my perspective. It stood me in good stead and with a renewed sense of self worth I set about the next few months in high spirits and ready to tackle anything. Of course by then the football season had re-started and I had plenty of events booked for the rest of the year. I went to see 'I'm Sorry I haven't a Clue' and resumed my military walking regime. Solitary pursuits that I could excel and feel comfortable doing. Likewise becoming totally absorbed in Motorsports - F1 and the Moto GP's. Great viewing! Esp with both on the Beeb and with extra items on the Red Button! Go Button indeed!

September was very much about sorting myself out. MBT's were purchased. I went to the Doctors and finally sorted out my pill. (amusingly they never actually ask how sexually active you are - it may have been quicker as they could have said you don't really need to be on it at all!). My mood has since become less extreme.

October was revisiting the past as well as visiting places I hadn't been before. Finally caught up with Ziggy face to face. It was as if we had not been parted for several years. I went to Southampton (we lost) and spent a rather brilliant weekend in Milton Keynes (we lost again - but StadiumMK does have very acceptable seats!). Baggy and Kezza were on fine form. Though I felt lacking in exciting things to talk about and the week following I was quite down - the realisation that all my gorgeous friends are asunder across the UK. It was also the month that my swimming exploits started to run dry. In part due to events (Andy Williams at the Royal Albert Hall), a minging cold/cough and then from Nov onwards it was closed due to a dodgy roof. I am very much looking forward to returning on the 4th Jan 2010. My stomach and arms miss the exertion!

November. A time of displacements and absences. I finally booked a week off and then to make it even better booked a week away from London. I ventured to the Tunisian sun and a week of luxury and relaxation. It was an experience. A good number of the waiters wanted to take me out and many asked if I was married. I was something of a curiosity and the pale English skin and lack of French vocab made for some amusing conversations! It was decadent to be centre of attention but I enjoyed it. A full Californian body massage (front and back - I suspect my Masseur was more embarrassed than I) a mud wrap and facials. I spoiled myself. Bliss. I read lots of books and lounged in the sun. I meet genuinely friendly people who gave me their book and introduced me then into the intrigue of Henry VIII. I wrote reams of thoughts. Perhaps with some downtime I'll jot it up here. The true reflection of my week of solitude.

I returned to the bedlam of a work. An imminent merger and conflicting messages. I was a little perturbed but bounded on regardless. The following fortnight I worked 4 day weeks with 2 Wednesdays of tennis to break the monotony. The 02 for a day (I saw Rafa and Roger!) then the joys of the Royal Albert Hall and Pat Rafter. Swoon!

This was followed by an arena gig - Placebo at the O2 and too many cocktails in the O2 lounge.

December now in full flow it was the run into Christmas. Party on 4th. Dinner on 11th. Then a barren week socially. Technology drinks and Christmas Eve.

Christmas itself was most pleasant. Just Ma and Pa and me. Christmas Eve was in part amusing and in part a tad baffling. I did though have company on the train home! A fellow Sittingbourne-ite. We drank Stella and made the carriage laugh with chat about huge birds and oven capacity. Christmas Day.. Santa was most kind. Unlike Boxing Day when he decided he would make me suffer a pretty dire game of football which my team did not deserve to lose. And then the extended weekend. Bliss. Pottering, walking, drinking and eating. Very agreeable.

So you see despite the lack of posts I have been quite busy! Too busy to post - but I think of Assume Nothing frequently and all the things I want to write about.

So belatedly Happy 4th Birthday Blog! For once on Nov 21st this year I was otherwise pre-occupied! At El Jem in Tunisia and taking lots of photos! Which I feel more than makes up for not posting a best wish then!

What

a tops day!

All about me!!! Sort of!

** All about Capricorn

Every sign has a 'patron planet.' Yours, dear Capricorn, happens to be Saturn -- Mr. No-Nonsense himself -- and this is a great place to start explaining the nature of your sign. Astronomers and amateur stargazers find those rings surrounding that beautiful planet simultaneously fascinating and lovely, but its colorful circles are also an appropriate symbol of one of the things Saturn holds dear: boundaries. And as Saturn's favorite sign, you've definitely learned the value of keeping your boundaries intact. After all, without self-discipline, order, rules and regulations, where would we be?

You've also been given a love of structure, a respect for experience and a great big dose of common sense. You only take calculated risks, and you can be the very soul of caution. In fact, if you're not careful, you can end up a bit too pessimistic.

But as anyone who knows you well can testify, this absolutely doesn't mean you don't know how to have fun. While your wit is dry and your humor is the exact opposite of slapstick, your sarcasm is unbeatable. What really makes you laugh, though, is intelligent humor -- the more odd and quirky, the better!

You deal with relationships much the same way you handle shopping. Your first step is to see what's out there by doing some observation and comparison. You won't settle for anything less than exactly what you want. And once you have it, you tend to those you love in much the same way you treat your most treasured items: You spoil them, pamper them and do absolutely everything you can to make things last. The lucky person who ends up in a permanent relationship with you can rest assured there's nothing you won't do to keep that relationship thriving, especially as the years go by and you invest more and more time into each other.

Not a Capricorn? Take a look at your planetary profile -- your strengths and weaknesses -- and how the planets line up for you with a free Real You Reading. Gain a better understanding of yourself and your relationship with the world around you, and open yourself to personal improvement and self-discovery!

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** Your Starcast for December 21 to January 19

December 21: Sun enters Capricorn

As we near the end of the year, you may feel a bit nostalgic and contemplative as you think about where you've been and where you're headed. The Sun’s entrance into Capricorn takes place when the northern hemisphere is tilted away from the Sun. This marks the Winter Solstice, a time celebrated throughout the ages by many cultures. During this practical earth-sign time, tune into your goals and -- just like Capricorn’s animal symbol. the mountain goat -- set your sights high.

December 21: Jupiter conjunct Neptune

These two big planets finally reach the third and final conjunction (in this series). This is an energy you have been working with since earlier this year, when the first conjunction occurred on May 27 in Aquarius. This idealistic pair continued to travel together and formed a second conjunction on July 10. Jupiter expands the spiritual inclusive nature of Neptune, which helps people to reach out, network and dream big. You have been helped and continue to be wherever this duo is currently transiting in your own chart.

December 25: Venus enters Capricorn

It’s always an interesting shift when the love planet leaves nomadic, freedom-oriented Sagittarius and enters serious, pragmatic Capricorn. If you’ve wanted to nail down your wandering Romeo or Ramona, now is your chance! Capricorn loves nothing better than a real commitment, and those with staying power in their DNA are ready to make one. Don’t try to push anything, though, as plans will take time to develop with Mars currently retrograde.

December 26: Mercury turns retrograde

Because Mercury turns retrograde in ambitious Capricorn while next to the north node, this is a very potent retrograde period. You receive information that will help you. Pay extra attention now to conversations, messages and ideas that you or others discuss. Although all of the typical Mercury retrograde cautions apply, if you can use this time to more deeply formulate your ideas and plans, you will be able to implement them with great power and strength in January when Mercury turns direct on January 15.

December 28: Venus squares Saturn

Even Venus in sensible Capricorn apparently needs to be reminded of boundaries and rules. You get plenty of clarity about your most important relationships. That’s the good news -- and also the bad news, for there’s nothing quite like a clear-eyed, fantasy-free view of the ones you love. Just make sure, with Saturn’s current placement in Libra, that you don’t overwork your mind too much on this one.

December 28: Mercury conjunct north node

The words you choose and the ideas you express have particular importance with this conjunction. Mercury represents communication. Think of the north node as the road ahead. What you say now can move you forward in a significant way. It’s like you can now get on the escalator instead of walking up all those stairs! Misspeak and you will feel as if you're on a stairmaster, going over the same territory over and over again.

December 31: Full Moon lunar eclipse in Cancer

The final of four lunar eclipses of the year occurs on the final day of December. (We have also experienced two solar eclipses this year.) This final lunar is in the water sign Cancer, which is quite emotional and very compassionate. Whenever lunar eclipses occur in water signs, the sensitivity factor is ramped-up. All lunar eclipses are like an extra-intense full Moon, an emotional high tide when you assess where you are emotionally. In the days following this Moon, but before the next new Moon, get a plan together to maximize what’s great -- or to make changes that will make you feel more comfortable. This Cancer Moon is opposed by the Sun (the Sun is always opposite the Moon at a full Moon) and Venus and Pluto in worldly Capricorn. With the pull from people and circumstances in your environment that are keeping your career on your radar screen, do what you can to pay attention to your personal needs while remaining mindful of your family’s needs.

January 4: Sun conjuncts Mercury

The communicator planet joins the Sun, imparting plenty of information. You should be feeling quite pragmatic with this Capricorn conjunction as you thoughtfully weigh pros and cons; you are likely to make a few changes in some of your plans and projects. Because Mercury is still retrograde, it is best to analyze thoughtfully but without yet making decisions. The truth is, you will change your mind more than once. So give your mind a break and don't finalize anything just yet. This is a fruitful time to reflect and ponder, but not to act!

January 7: Sun quincunxes Mars

The 150-degree aspect, the quincunx, describes energy that is a bit off-kilter. It's kind of like a curve ball: what you think you see coming is not exactly what you end up with. Mars heats situations up and you will help yourself this week by remaining open to changes. Don't get stuck with one point of view or one way to go. Mars is retrograde -- like a salmon swimming upstream -- so take this formidable energy and direct it toward goal achievement. Just don't expect things to happen right away, for part of what you're doing now is long-range planning.

January 8: Venus quincunxes Mars

When the planets of love (Venus) and desire (Mars) are not exactly on speaking terms, you either get a whole lot of passion ... or argumentativeness. With Mars retrograde, people tend to pull back their energy and, in general, act more strategically. Mars in Leo has a large dose of pride (perhaps unhealthily so), while Venus in Capricorn is quite status-conscious and commitment-focused. How do you get these two to get along? Make love, not war!

Inner Guide

You are much more intuitive than you think you are, karen! Yes, you are a very practical and pragmatic soul, but your hunches are strong, even if you don't always listen to them. Tuesday you may have a flash of insight, as the bright Sun in your sector of your sixth sense sextiles Neptune, so be sure to pay attention to what your inner guide tells you. You may be unhappy in your yoga class because your vibes just don't mesh with those of your teacher. That's OK - it's a sign to get up off your mat and seek instruction, and enlightenment, elsewhere! You will find you are overloaded with household chores, favors to do for friends, and errands to run on Thursday as the Moon in Capricorn squares stern Saturn, your ruler. Your own needs will go on the backburner as you spend time attending to others, at least for a while. You'll embark on an inward journey this weekend, as you strive to get to know yourself better. Sunday, Mars turns retrograde in Leo in your sector of self-awareness and personal power, and you'll reflect on the best way to transform yourself, and your life, over the course of the next three months.

December: Lucky Days: 7, 8, 17, 18, 26

Yucky Days: 3, 4, 9, 10, 25

Fashion Icon: Kate Bosworth

Colour: Gold

Hold on to your hat (and your heart for that matter) because you’re in for one very tumultuous spin in your relationship arena this month. You can probably already feel the big Lunar Eclipse in Cancer brewing in your partnership sector. This will provoke major changes–from the way you view your significant other to the kinds of people you will attract in the coming year. Time has been flying by at supersonic speed for you lately, so you’ll welcome the mid-month slow down when Mars and Mercury both go retrograde and force an easier pace. Although this makes business a bit of a bitch, you’ll appreciate the rare breather it will impose—especially in the midst of the frenetic holiday season. Who couldn’t use a little time-out? When the Sun enters your constellation on the 21st marking the Winter Solstice, you’re officially in your glory. Trade cheers for fears Capricorn—amazing things await you on the other side of 2009.

Sadness

This is really difficult to express, and I am bound to sound clumsy, but the Saturday I was preparing to go on holiday a family friend took a life changing decision and threw herself in front of a train.

Today is her funeral. I cannot begin to imagine how desparate she must have been.

I didn't find out until the Monday of my return and when I was told it took my breath away. It was/is a shock. It has been in the back of my mind a lot over the last week and measuring the madness that goes on at work each day against that has to a degree kept me centred. It also highlights that there are many people with other stuff going on beyond the work place despite which doesn't stop the daily demands. Why are we not kinder to those around us?

I hope that she has found peace - whatever that may have meant for her.

New Hat!

Wow,,,

Just discovered my stars for November...

Lucky Days: 3, 4, 20, 21, 30
Yucky Days: 7, 8, 13, 14, 28
Fashion Icon: Kate Bosworth
Colour: Tan
The big news of November is the Saturn/Pluto square. Peaking on the 15th but in effect from the 1st, you’ll be feeling this transit deep in your bones. Saturn rules your sign and Pluto is currently in Capricorn until 2024. If it feels like those bones are creaking a bit, it’s just because these heavy-duty planets are on track to destroy whatever isn’t working in your life. It’s not as scary as it sounds; it’s just so that you can rebuild yourself even better than before. You’re the quintessential Sisyphusian figure, constantly climbing mountains that others intentionally avoid. Even you could grow tired this month, darling Capricorn, and you’d do well to take a nice, long break. If you refuse to heed the call and keep pushing, your health could suffer and then you’ll have no choice but to regroup. Why not plan the revitalization in advance? It’s as easy as picking a weekend and booking a holiday in a location where there are truly no distractions. You might even consider leaving your Blackberry at home, if you dare.

Blimey - that's exactly what I did!!!!!!! Spooky.

Lets beat our 'local' chums

Mascot race!

!!

Not Wimbledon

UTG!

Balham skies

Today Soton

Don't Back Down

Don't back down this week, karen! You know that you are correct in your feelings regarding a particular person or circumstance in your life, and it's important that you follow through on your insight. Allow your wisdom to guide you on Tuesday, as Mercury retrograde conjuncts your ruler Saturn in Virgo. Remember, you have the ability to see through anyone's façade, and you can easily spot someone's hidden agenda, thanks to your rock solid and earthy common sense. Hold fast to your inner determination on Wednesday, as the Sun in Libra squares powerful Pluto in Capricorn in your sector of self. You may be trying to lose weight, or overcome a bad habit, and you are not seeing the positive results you hoped for right now. Remember to take your new life regime one day at a time, and to build slowly on your progress. Before you know it, you will have accomplished your goal! You often keep your emotions under wraps, but on Sunday you will surprise yourself by openly demonstrating your feelings, as the Moon in Capricorn opposes volatile Mars in emotional Cancer. Venting a bit will do you good, so feel free to display your thoughts and feelings this weekend.

Swoon!

Tread Carefully For Best Results

Mars in your partnership zone, karen, continues to make waves and challenge you in ways that you may find quite irritating. It won't help to get on the defensive, but it is good to talk and to be prepared to listen to what your lover or business partner has to say. Make sure it is a two-way conversation, and you will stand a better chance of clearing the air and creating change where it is most needed. Don't be led astray on Tuesday and encouraged to part with your money without knowing what you are letting yourself in for. If in doubt, hold back and read the small print. It could save you a lot of cash. Mercury continues to be retrograde in your career zone and will move into Virgo on Thursday. Over this week you should be especially careful if you need to sign legally binding contracts. If you can wait until Mercury turns direct after September 29 you will have a chance to review the content and decide if you want to go ahead. However, a New Moon on Friday is great if you are about to travel abroad or take up a class. Bon voyage!

Back On Track

Your standing in your community is very important to you, and you expend a lot of time and effort establishing connections in your neighborhood. Early this week you may find yourself running into a spot of trouble with someone you associate with in your community, as Mercury, the planet of communication, turns retrograde in Libra in your sector of community affairs. Someone of influence and importance in an organization you are both members of will start to throw his or her weight around, and you will need to take a back seat to this person and his or her wishes. You may find yourself having to bite down on your understandable anger at this person's attitude, but luckily for you, your powers of self-control are immense. Your sense of purpose will return to you in full force on Friday, as Pluto turns direct in Capricorn in your sector of self. For the past several months, you have been feeling listless and unmotivated, and you haven't really been able to formulate a life plan for yourself. You are a determined Cardinal quality Mountain Goat, and now you will feel back on track and in control of yourself and your own destiny.

Rossi... not Francis.

This morning's freebie Sport paper had my new hero on the front!! Though why I have chosen a picture of 'the Doctor' on the tarmac I do not know... Go Valentino! Catch the San Marino Moto GP on Sunday !

Last evening I went to the BBC Radio Theatre to see the recording of 'I Guess that's why they call it the News' (Ep 3) and in my tight jeans, white shirt and black waistcoat I did have a passing resemblance to said F. Rossi. But he is not nor ever has been my hero. As for the recording very entertaining. The evening itself. Left me a key question. Or perhaps questions. Mm. Hey ho. Today also represents a week without a ciggy. Get in. Ttfn. JY.

September...

Lucky Days: 8, 9, 16, 17, 25
Yucky Days: 5, 6, 12, 13, 19
Fashion Icon: Zooey Deschanel
Colour: Radiant
Ready yourself for a month of miscommunication Capricorn. The Full Moon falls in your house of correspondence, thinking and siblings on 4 September. This lunation promises to flood your inbox with myriad messages. Use your grounded wisdom to discern a true emergency from a hyped-up drama. Before you feel like you must immediately respond and save everyone crying out for help, check in with yourself. Remember that this is an insanely chaotic time prior to taking any action. Mercury spends the majority of September in retrograde in your house of higher thinking and travel, so escape is not a viable option if you’re looking for an “easy” way out. The New Moon on 18 September will bring better news concerning future travel if you can just hold off until the end of October when Mercury is back in phase. Your ruler Saturn has a chance to settle into its exalted home of Libra this autumn, and it should feel mighty nice for you. In the meantime, it’s a good thing patience is one of your most accessible virtues, because you’ll need heaps of it to endure the madness of September.

Your Month Ahead: The world is changing, right before your eyes. Little is as it once was. Each day brings something new to digest and consider. That's why you feel so keen to protect and preserve a part of the past. It somehow suggests a sense of safety. Be careful, History is a false refuge. Only the future affords true protection! And the only truly safe way to get there is by allowing yourself to adjust and adapt. Be fluid, be flexible and be ready to start moving in a new direction. You may feel daunted by what's now being asked of you, but you'll soon feel proud that you managed to rise to the challenge so well.

Establish some firm personal boundaries with your boss on the 3rd. News about a property deal improves your home life on the 4th but could create problems around the professional front. You could get contradictory information from your boss on the 7th; ask for a clarification to be put in writing. The 11th finds you overextending yourself. Be realistic about what you can afford on the 15th. Adopting a more charitable outlook will help fight depression on the 17th. The 18th invites you to take an advanced class or get your degree. Let a skilled person teach you the ropes around the 20th. The 21st is good for restoring a beautiful but shabby work of art. Any contract you sign on the 22nd could prove restrictive. Don't take advantage of your authority on the 23rd. The 29th has you reconsidering some long held political or religious beliefs.

Heart & Mind!

I picked up some vitamins in Sainsos on Saturday supposed to help with short term memory and circulation. They contain fish oil. It occurred to me that was quite ironic bearing in mind the memory capacity of the average fish.... Funny the things you think of as you are yomping home in the rain....

But at least I remembered it 4.5 hours later....

Step into September!

I am not sure why my stomach muscles ache or indeed why my legs were 'buzzing' all night. Flops (FitFlops) or balls (Balance Pilates ball)?!

Either way new lease of life today... new month, new danger... new challenges, I fear.

Bit like starting a new term at school.. !

FitFlops

Yes people the sum total of my four days. A pair of FitFlops and a bottle of perfume.

So I longed for my four days away from work. Well it started not as I would have wished. Which in some ways was a good thing. I got horribly drunk on 2 tequilas/ a Guinness and countless vodka tonics. So very drunk that I am not sure how I got home. I am aware en route home I got particularly honest via text message. I spent all of Friday in bed. Why was any of this good? Well it has meant no ciggies since Thursday. So that's 4 days without. It's a start. The hammering head and all day retching were not so pleasant. What a waste of a day off.

It also meant for the last few days I have been able to think. See things. Whatever I felt for the Actor it is all so very much in the past. And he has a life way beyond anything I have to offer. As for my other spam message. First Man. I have to accept that this madness/depression and general grey demeanour is down to being a total shadow in his life. No-one knows anything about us and so its all been in my head right? I just don't think mentally I can stick at this game. Just waiting just in case. Knowing that in his head there is a whole world to explore. The chance we had went. The secrets we share are just that - secrets. So no matter how strongly I feel its all not to be. I am so angry. When there was a hint I was off to Oz he practically begged me to stay. Now he can barely invite me out anywhere. In case people get suspicious... So selfish. It is as if my feelings and hopes can be switched on and off at will. Perhaps I have watched too much drama this weekend - but if something feels right why does it become so destructive?

So for 3 days at least I have been walking lots.

Buoyed by my own self discipline today, I updated my match.com profile - the real me. The sunny. Amusing. Attractive me. Even reflated my Pilate's ball and stretched those stomach muscles. Be prepared and all that.

Otherwise I have enjoyed my total lack of responsibility this weekend. Just me and whatever I fancied to entertain me. Grand Prix. Moto GP. DVD's. Walks and some iPlayer catch ups. I also bought 2 more cactus. Bloody vicious things... heyho - at least they may live..!

And so to Tuesday. Do I stay a shadow or do I get some items out in the open? I fed up of being a sponge. Dripping with despair.

Mm.

Hope you all had great weekends.. BBQ's? Family dos? Weekends away with special friends etc etc. All the things I have avoided. I just want to lay on the grass and watch the clouds with a n other. Simple request huh.

Anyway FitFlops could well be the future!! I'll let you know.

Clearing the Air

Mars in your opposite sign of Cancer, karen, may be stirring things up between you and your partner. It is time to clear the air and get some energy back into your relationship. Heart-to-heart discussions will enable you to get to those core issues that can suck the energy out of you both as you tiptoe around trying to avoid them. The more open and honest you are willing to be, the easier it will be to find some kind of resolution. As long as Saturn is in your Ninth House you may be travelling more for business or academic purposes than for the pure fun of going on vacation. If you are trying to establish a business abroad this is a good placement as it means you are more likely to be thorough and to work hard to meet your targets. There is also the possibility of following a path or teacher who may be able to guide you to higher levels of consciousness. Mercury in your career zone is helping you to make the right connections and mix with key people. But from Sunday it will be retrograde until September 29. This means you need to be more careful when signing deals or arranging contracts.

My recent Horrorscopes....

My stars were quite amusing for Monday -
The ability to make money while performing work you love is like hitting the jackpot. Fortunately, you'll be able to do just that. If you're unhappy with your current job, explore opportunities related to travel, education, or poverty relief. You possess impressive skills and can easily make an industry change. A close friend may be concerned by your desire to switch gears. Try not to be discouraged by their gloomy predictions. Hitting the gym can work off any tension.

so I did indeed make myself go swimming... I ended up swimming 50 lengths owing to cleaning taking place in the changing rooms and for the first 15minutes had pool all to myself (that was 20 carefree lengths), then I moved to middle lane and when the cleaning started I got tense during swim and that may explain my Tuesday/Wednesday shoulder ache... headache and poss. even toothache... Thus creating TENSION! This was exacerbated by my shower still not being fixed. In fact the builder had not even been nor phoned to explain. I was not chuffed.

Tuesday's were even more amusing... esp. with a footie trip in the offing!!

It may be impossible to keep your hands off your amour. Everything they do and say fills you with desire. If you're single, you could meet someone special at a sporting event. Keep your ears open for someone with a goofy laugh. The two of you will hit it off like strawberries and cream. If you meet with resistance, wear them down by discussing your favourite movies and performing artists. This should break the ice between you and a new partner.

SO I went to football. I was sat between my Dad and a kid aged probably 5-6yo. The only silly laughter was my own - which made the three lads in front turn and give me odd looks. And the kid next to me kept showing me his programme and asking who my favourite player was -- in the end I had to confess I loved them all. Oh and he thought Garry Richards looked like the guy from War of the Worlds ... you mean Tom Cruise... mmm Garry is quite tall, Tom is not. So who else in my life today filled me with desire... well there's the thing I suspect I have offended certain people, though how I am not sure, thus most conversations today either by text or email were silted. Mm. Footie - first half was tops. Second not so. Good to see Jason Brown though. Not so good hearing about the carnage at Upton Park.. we have Millwall at home on 12th Sept.. wish me luck.

Stars for Wednesday...

Somebody's stubborn behaviour tests your temper. You're tired of these things. Trying to bully them into making a decision will only backfire. You'll have to abandon your plans and go off on your own. Dwelling on what might have been will just drive you crazy. Set your sights on a new goal. Somewhere down the line, circumstances could change and you could champion this dream all over again.

This is far more interesting.. this morning a meeting had every chance of sending me off .. but it went quite well. As for dwelling. Been doing a lot of that recently and failing miserably to articulate any of it - to anyone. Rubbish! That is me.

Anyway tomorrow says:

A steamy physical encounter gives you a sexy glow. Don't think others can't see what's written all over you. Everybody is wondering about the change that has come over you. Maintain a mysterious silence; it will only heighten your allure. If you're looking for a job, this would be a good time to cast your net for one. Send out a slew of CVs, spread the word among your friends, and join an employment agency. Your diligence will pay off.

SO does this happen during the day? Or Wed pm? Or wot?! And if anyone would like to help fulfill the first sentence please do drop me a line... Otherwise looks like I need to sort my CV out... and that's not news either...

Mm. More as and when...

Sunset @ Priestfield

1 nil down too

Exercise Caution

Hold on to your patience and your stamina, karen, because you are going to need to draw on your inner strength and fortitude this week. Don't worry; Saturn is your ruling planet, and you can deal with any challenge that comes your way! Wednesday volatile Mars in Cancer opposes powerful Pluto in Capricorn in your sector of self, and you will engage in a power struggle with someone of influence in your life. It's also possible that you will be fighting with yourself on an important matter that you are of two minds about. May sure that you don't become so distracted by your dilemma that you forget to pay attention to where you are and who you are with. This is a good week to exercise extra caution when you are in any areas that you are unfamiliar with. A good friend comes to your rescue on Sunday and lures you away from your normal household routine. The Moon in Capricorn trines the radiant Sun in helpful Virgo and your associate will see to it that you spend a day of fun and amusement. You may just decide on your own to take off for a leisurely walk through the mall, or spend time gardening.

Hooray!

Sport

has been my salvation this fine day.. well apart from the dire result at the Priestfield this afternoon.. no joy happening for my tattoo... however Radio Five Sports Extra has kept me very entertained.. thanks Aggers, Tuffers, CMJ, Jim Maxwell and Vic Marks (not sure about M Hayden) it has been a great pleasure sharing every ball and wicket with you all. I was opening laughing at Victoria Stn when queuing for my train ticket.. talk of synchronised sheep shearing being the only sport the Australians might actually be able to win (they had just lost the tri-nations game by a point). They did win 2 gold medals in Berlin today.. SO tomorrow the Aussie's have got 80 runs out of the 546 that they need. Not sure how I will manage seeing as I am supposed to be at work...which also means I will miss the Grand Prix (and yes I listened to quallie while on the train down) Lewis is on a pole again.

Someone told they me they were worried about me yesterday. I shunned this. I always shun that sort of thing. I suspect I have become too self sufficient and hard. A thick barrier and no hope of being loved because I push people away. Self protection. That and not wanting to be a burden. To add to other's weighty issues. Listen but not be listened too. It was quite refreshing having a two-way convo on Tuesday afternoon...

Compassion or compromise. Words similar. How do you know which side of that coin you are?

Other notes from the day... Berocca maybe working. I went for a walk and actually enjoyed my bath afterwards. Have only spoken to people via text today - is that good?

Pointless

The show I went to watch being filmed a few weeks ago starts next week... ho ho ho... See here for the low down!

And so

from the high to the low.

That is me.

I woke this morning. Rolled over and went straight back to sleep. I rang my boss at 9am. I nearly bottled it and sent an email but no I was not fit for work today so I fronted it.

Yesterday I had been so close to just lashing out at several people. It was not a good place to be in. I suspect I am just so deeply tired. Day to day things and deep down tiredness. The constant sense I am compromising myself and having to settle for the-right-thing-to-do things not the real things. So today I slept. Slept and slept. The radio was my companion and now after a long soak in a bath (oh yeah my shower broke last Friday, builder came Monday, so I missed swimming, only to tell me it was a very old electric shower not a power shower and a phone call yesterday - there may be a replacement in Newcastle so bath and strange shampoo poses are becoming my new speciality) I feel less tired but still coiled like a spring. If I want different outputs then different inputs but turning on people and making them realise how lazy, dull, uninspiring they are isn't going to help. And anyway what makes me think I am right. Maybe its actually me with the problems. Mental tiredness is an illness I am sure. Stress related dementia. Gaping holes in your sense of self. Weakness of mind making you want to destroy everything. Losing patience. Full to the brim with being patient.

I hope it passes.

I wanted to talk the doctor about the blesses pill and how my moods are beginning to get progressively darker. Like a blanket of despair descends and prevents me from thinking properly. Everything is black and white and my so called sunny disposition deserts me. I just fill instead with self loathing and distrust. And yet with all the things that have not gone well recently I have not totally lost it. Though Mrs Elephant deciding to paint outside of house this evening almost tipped me. Its like I really don't exist. Invisible. Pushed through on the street. Jumped in queues. Sat on trains. All I want is a quiet life.. leave me be like I leave you all be...

And at other times I really just want to be looked after. To not have to think about myself or anyone. Not put everyone else's feeling before my own.

My big decision to go for a weekend of 'change your life training' got cancelled. Ha ha. Sums me up really. Your life will always be like this.. why fight it?

And so.

Maybe its the pain of regeneration...

The New Moon in the confident sign of Leo falls in your sector of transformation and makes this a very auspicious time to shed some old layers. Let go of anything that no longer serves you and definitely trash everything that reeks of low self-esteem. The more you’re willing to relinquish, the stronger you’ll feel.
----
Lucky Days: 2, 3, 12, 13, 21
Yucky Days: 9, 10, 16, 17, 22
Fashion Icon: Kate Moss
Colour: Khaki green
You’ve been tested from every angle possible in the past few months, so you’ll welcome the reprieve from last month’s heavy eclipse action. Now the eclipse pattern moves on to the sign of Aquarius to give you a chance to exhale. Even though it’s not in your own sign, the full moon lunar eclipse on 5 August will impact your financial sector over the next six months, so get out your bank statements for perusal. If you’re in good standing with your resources it could bring fresh opportunities to earn more money. If there are still lessons to be learned about valuing yourself and your time, clear the deck of old, limiting patterns that block your financial flow. The follow-up New Moon on 20 August is the perfect time to get a handle on any lingering debt or collect on money that is owed to you. If you’re looking for new ways to boost your sex life, passionate endeavours are favoured during the latter half of the month. Sexy Mars enters your partnership sector on 25 August just in time for some end-of-season sizzle. This summer will definitely go out with a bang!

---
Your Week Ahead: Where I grew up, they say 'Where's there's muck there's brass'. Usually I only quote colloquialisms to question them. Yet this statement is rarely wrong. Wherever there are things that people find difficult, dirty or distasteful, there are opportunities to accumulate wealth. And at an emotional level the same applies. We prosper when we find the courage to recognise the darker side of a situation and ignore this at our peril. I am not suggesting you now need to give full attention to something unappealing. But if you can give it just enough to see it for what it is - and be less afraid - you can become better off in every way. Would you like the good news or the bad news? The bad news is that you're about to get some good news! And why is this bad news? Because when you first hear it, you won't like it. Or, at least, you won't like all of it. You might scratch your head and wonder. You may even roll your eyes in despair. 'Oh surely not' you will say. This news, though, is not so bad at all. The implication may take a little while to dawn on you, but once it does, you'll feel very proud and powerful. Pay close attention to a situation, a suggestion or a development you think you don't like. It will lead to something you're deeply glad of.

Set List...last night! The one I saw!

Set List: Release, Animal, Corduroy, Why Go, Small Town, Immortality, The Fixer, Even Flow, I Got Shit, Rats, Got Some, Whipping, Light Years, Insignificance, Black, Life Wasted, Blood/("Atomic Dog" - Clinton, Shider, Spradley)

1st encore: Supersonic, Hail Hail, Footsteps, Love, Reign O'er Me, Do The Evolution, Alive

2nd encore: Better Man/(Save It For Later), Crazy Mary, Leaving Here, Porch, Yellow Ledbetter

Not sure what part of the set I enjoyed the most - but when they played 'Footsteps' I was very emotional... as avid readers know it has been oft quoted here on Assume Nothing. And as it followed 'Hail Hail' I was very pleased... I don't want to think I wanna feel... are you woman enough to be my man... Eddie getting everyone to take 3 steps back to avoid a front crush. The banter between him and us the audience. 'I wish I could thank you all by name' ' 'Peace and love'. Magnificent!

Aah. Joy. Wore my wrist band all day at work despite several comments. Was a tad tired though!

All in all a much better end to the day than it started. Went first thing to Doctor's who had messed up my appointment so having squeezed me in I sat there for 40 mins before taking the bull by the horns and leaving. Got to work a bit hot and flustered. Skipped lunch and worked through til 1.45pm. Then changed and went to wait on the steps of St Pauls for the Actor. Weird set of emotions then set in a cross between excitement and dread! In the end it was fine. A few beers. Got to the O2 on time - another beer and a hot dog (which was a slight mistake as it kept repeating on us during the rest of the evening - soz about that). Queued to get in talking bands from our youth, gigs we had been too and people watching. Owing to the Actor's Ten Club status we could go in and stand quite near the front which was a bonus. Gomez were on first - a band I got into years ago. They didn't play anything I recognised but one tune was pretty good. Then 8.45 on came Pearl Jam - and they played through until 11.15pm. Usually by 11 I'm itching to avoid the rush and get home! But not tonight. Glad about that. As it was the walk from inside O2 to on the tube took no more than 15 mins. Spot on! At London Bridge we said our goodbyes. It had been a fantastic gig and a very enjoyable afternoon. Refreshing for me to have someone different to talk too. And not feel self conscience. Well not too much anyway.

On the tube this couple started talking to me about the gig. And when I got off at CW I rang my bro to share the moment! He seemed distant but then it was his morning and he was at work - whilst I was high as cloud and babbling about the greatness of Sir Ed of Ved!

Thanks Eddie et al. And thanks to Simon also, whom could have invited anyone else - so I am v grateful to have had the opportunity to see a band whose lyrics and music has often rung oh so poignant for me. Alive.

Wahey!

Live @ the 02

What PJ played on the 11th...

'Sometimes'
'Interstellar Overdrive/'Corduroy'
'The Fixer'
'All Along The Watchtower'
'Why Go'
'Dissident'
'Severed Hand'
'Given To Fly'
'Low Light'
'Even Flow'
'Present Tense'
'Save You'
'Down'
'Elderly Woman Behind The Counter In A Small Town'
'Brother'
'Do The Evolution'
'Got Some'
'The End'
'Inside Job'
'Betterman'
'Alive'
'Soldier Of Love'
'State Of Love And Trust'
'The Real Me'
'Yellow Ledbetter'

What will they play in Manchester this evening and then more importantly for me - tomorrow at the O2?!! :-)

Check Out Your Assets

Long-term partnerships look especially sweet this week, karen, as Venus continues to move through your opposite sign of Cancer. Whatever issues or problems you may have been facing will be easily forgotten. A Mercury/Saturn conjunction on Monday may bring obstacles or delays to travel plans. It will only be temporary, so try not to fret too much. If you are trying to arrange a deal or perhaps dealing with legal issues, you may find your progress blocked. Within a day or so everything will be flowing once again. Don't take a risk on Tuesday at work - it may not pay off. The New Moon in your joint financial zone gives you the chance of a fresh start. As well as being associated with other people's money, this house is also linked with sex and deep psychological issues. If you want to heal any ongoing problems, this is a good time to start counselling or therapy. If you are combining assets in a business or a marriage situation you will be equally blessed. The Sun moves into Virgo on Saturday which brings opportunities for travel and adventure. On Sunday you may want to research a subject in depth to improve your chances of success.

Shocking start...

I was wide awake at 4am this morning. So awake I wrote my journal and made myself a cup of Horlicks. Why? I know not. Mind you I was slightly peeved to realised I'd gone to the status making someone in a freaky place elsewhere in cyberspace. Before it had read more positively and with a real sense of joy. Now not so. So I wrote. It helped. Fool. Me. I am.

Finally drifted back off at gone 5am. Alarm went, snooze, snooze, off. Darn. I was dreaming about my brother and his baby daughter. (they do not have children afore you ask!) Maybe its a sign?! Either way we were looking after her and she was beautiful. Not sure where her mother was tho.

Shower will wake me up, thought I. However my shower decided to not warm up and turned on/off randomly. So it was a very cold shower and I cursed loudly into the echo-void. Another thing to hassle my landlord about.

'Refreshed' I had breakie and got dressed. A dress. Mm. All the way to the tube I fretted it was a bad choice. But yesterday my skirt, blouse and haircut combo had courted positive feedback.

Left house later than usual, but not really late. Being on time was still achievable at this juncture.

Tube was fine until nearing London Bridge. Then we stopped. No messages nothing. After a snooze it became apparent that next stop - off and walk. So I got to work, hot and flustered and 30 mins late. Joy. My mood was not at its best.

Now. Well it's pay day. It's Friday. It's been a long week - well having worked on Sunday yesterday felt like Friday! Had a tops afternoon with Camilla and her son. Really relaxing and fun. Holland Park for a walk and ice-cream. All so peaceful and sedate.

And no I am not broody - just brooding over my options.

Carling Cup Round 2

Just read that the next big team to come to Priestfield is Blackburn Rovers... woohoo! Think I may have to go to that fixture!

Ever feel stuck in a hole?

GILLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What a top rocking start to the season!

Spontaneity

karen, you enjoy planning your life. What you don't enjoy is being taken by surprise, even if the surprise is a good one! That's understandable, because Saturn, the planet of order and control, is your ruler. However, Monday you need to juice up your spontaneity vibe, as dynamic Mars in dualistic Gemini squares Saturn in your sector of philosophical thought. You'll encounter an event that will encourage you to experience life in a free-flowing fashion; in fact, you will astonish yourself by throwing your schedule out the window, and going with the flow for the rest of the week! You'll do some serious thinking regarding a major issue in your life on Friday, as the radiant Sun in Leo opposes Jupiter in your sector of values. You are at a turning point in many ways, and you are ready to reassess your goals and dreams. You usually consider all the pros and cons of any life choice before you start the wheels of action in motion, and that's good. Because of your careful and methodical qualities, you rarely embark on the wrong path, and if you do make a mistake, you are able to quickly backtrack to square one!

5-0

Happy days!

Welcome to Division Two!

Friday night

Beers n Family Guy!

Haircut

Postponement... hairdresser off sick.. so much for my adulation!
Revised fixture Wed

Lips

I also noticed in my 4 dayer my lips were the fullest of all...

Does that denote anything?

Post rain curls

Summer 2009

The Rabbit Series.
Yesterday I started 'Rabbit at Rest'. It starts by setting the scene. The Lockerbie air bombing. The on the news - the bomber seeking to see out his final days in his home country.
Rabbit Redux. Moon landings. Anniversary of.
Updike - you were/are a legend.
Planetface - thanks for pointing in this direction.
In some sense it's been a very good summer...started with promotion for GFC.
An Ashes test win this weekend and it will have been a v v good summer.
I talk as if the summer is over.
On the train Wimbledon bound it was hard to believe a month ago it was all so different. So much warmer, drier, brighter, so much more complete - thanks to my brother's presence.
This evening it was humid grey and very wet. And Murray, Federer and Roddick were long gone. As has my bro. Though the texts have been more frequent. The Ashes helps.
Saturday I return to Priestfield.. summer fades so quickly.

Voices...

Okay okay. So I buy a new Muse lp to add to my collection and treat myself to Lady Ga Ga.. I also got Florence and the Machine.. her music used on Holby City and then connected on Radio Five when they previewed Mercury Prize Winners... and so I have been listening to her.. and her voice has been driving me wild cos it reminds me so much of someone else...!!! Aargh. And then tonight as I splashed home through the puddles I thought it had come to me. The c-d deluxe single Millwall Matt sent me whilst in the US in the summer of 2000 - Mandalay... Flowers Bloom disc 3. Containing 'Flowers Bloom', 'You Say' and 'Sleep'.

Most brilliant. Never really got Matt's feelings for me - but this c-d is a rather good legacy...

'Sometimes
The reflection I see
Bears no
Resemblance to me
Sometimes
I look around the place I live
And wonder
How I came to choose the things I did
In the morning
He smiles
At the start of another day
He smiles
Kisses my shoulder
Cradles his body
Behind mine
Shin to toe to thigh to mind X5
Sometimes
I wake and know the time will come
The day unfolds
Someday
That everything will resonate
Flowers bloom
In desolate places
In the morning
He smiles
At the start of another day
He smiles
Kisses my shoulder
Cradles his body
Behind mine
Shin to toe to thigh to mind X4
Shin to toe to thigh to mind to mine
Sometimes it seems
All the birds are flying south
While I am grounded
One day I'll wake
And everything will resonate
Flowers bloom
In desolate places
In the morning
He smiles
At the start of another day
He smiles
Kisses my shoulder
Cradles his body
Behind mine
Shin to toe to thigh to mind X4
Shin to toe to thigh to mind to mine'

But now as I listen I am still not sure! Can anyone help me!!? Tori Amos? Cocteau Twins - Liz Fraser? Belly's Tanya C? MMMM - help me someone!!

Spliter...

I fear I am moving more towards Facebook at the moment.. as for Twitter... erm am seeing if I can get mobile with it - then maybe it will have merit..!? Both these mediums do not require many words to be written - unlike blogging of course - that folks is all about words...

So I guess I have come here on a very wet Thursday night to relay 'stuff'.

This week has been like house arrest. Four days in a room with a tiny American, some ladies from a legal-ish team and some more ladies from a finance team. Me the IT in the middle. As an experience of getting stuff done I have to concede when the room was just us ladies it happened. No alpha male or female cat games. We were each fighting for our corner but in a positive and measured way. Professionally. The actual contrast from the view at my desk (mainly men) has been refreshing.

But the price has been my lunch time social life has going to pot. Crikey. It really has been like detention.

When I have escaped I have sat in the canteen on my own scoffing pasta salad. Advertised as with artichokes and red onions. But neither were present. Just pesto and rocket... A slight improvement on sandwiches however.

I now have 16 pages of notes however to write up and then distill to my male superiors. All this in the week Harriet Harman dares to suggest that things only get done when there is a woman in the fore ground. I am finding this all rather poignant. The last few working weeks have seen me described as a minute taker only, or a tea lady. Then subjected to 30 minutes of diversity and inclusion training. Dignity at work. I would just hope to be treated with respect for who I am and the job I do. It seems though that if you are in control and on top of your game you are deemed a threat - and as such become fair game.

To be fair I am much calmer about the whole set of incidents than I was. If anything if has given me a inner sense of purpose and calmness. Stick to my instincts and due diligence and I can walk my line across any terrain. My only regret - not expressing my angst when I should have done. The anger I felt towards my immediate colleagues has also subsided. It has given power to my elbow.

I am not claiming to do a better job than anyone else I work with, but I have on more recent occasions wondered if the dramatic antics of the male populous are actually a barrier to success/progress ever happening. My experience of female bosses is practically zero, with one notable exception. For the most part I have managed cordial working relationships with the male bosses I lacked respect for. With others I have managed cordial working relationships in the face of much deeper waters running less than still. Sleeping with a boss will make the 9 to 5 life interesting to say the least. Snogging him and hoping his sister/wife do not find out will also raise the stakes. Falling in love with him will probably lead to resignation and starting a new life elsewhere. It rarely works out. I imagine with a female boss you bitch more behind the backs or at best you find a solid friend. Sharing of handbags not necessary however. My one exception was very much an older wiser sister figure. I have no need for a surrogate mother - my mum is more than sufficient in my life.

So where is all this leading? Nowhere really. It sort of fits with other discussions this week about working mums and those women who stay at home. My hat is firmly on the peg of staying home to bring up my sprog. However this for me would be a very well thought about decision. In lieu of spawning my life is pretty much the effort and commitment I put into my job. Its what gets me out of bed. So it needs to be more than just stimulating - it needs to reward (and not financially) - though paying all my bills without a worry is another thing I strove for - if you are going to be independent you need a solid sense of cash flow. I have used my brain and 'charm' to give my self the security I have. But now its starting to go stale. I will have been in present seat for 9 years in December. The recent clashes have stressed me to the point of visible shakes at work, severe headaches at weekends. And my smoking habit has peaked. All in all things are slipping from my grip. I cannot recall the last time I was actually 'happy'. When I last laughed so it hurt. When was the last time I got a sense of achievement from my 8 hours? Mm.

There is a connection with some other events. Yes I have bumped into several of my old bosses recently. And yes I did (see above) once upon time - with both. However. Each have a sense of care towards to me. Each recognised my brightness. Saw that I was not of the usual mould. And they clearly saw something else me that I have yet to grasp. Am I ever sexy? I have my doubts. Yet apparently when my face relaxes and I smile I am beautiful. Not feeling so beautiful today I can tell you. Retreat to introspection. So one boss I bumped into by total chance. We ended up getting rather drunk. He had grown quite wide and his accent was harder to understand! The other I had arranged to meet for one purpose and ended up instead just talking/having a conversation with for 2 hours in Embankment park. It was very liberating to be part of a two-way conversation and not just a listening sponge.

Other weird and wonderful events? I am going to see Pearl Jam on the 18th August - with The Actor. Strange but very true. I am very excited to be seeing Eddie Vedder and have been choosing my all time Top 10 PJ songs. (Nearly wrote snogs!) and also to be catching up with The Actor for 4th time in my life!

Having been implored to find a life outside of work I appear to be doing just that. Out of a week 2 nights have been spent in alone in the last few weeks. A bit of effort and my life springs alive again. Perhaps that's my unseen talent? Myself and Sparky have been meeting for post Ashes test dinners - losers pay. In fact even in the draw situ the Aussie has paid. Each evening has been amusing and relaxed. Odd dreams abound though about all of the above!

Other news. Am off to see Camilla next week. I struggle sometimes not to pour my heart out to her. But I have come to the conclusion least said. I rang her yesterday for sanity! To hear her bubbly voice - it oozes sunshine from the phone! It worked. And then 2 hours with TTWD. I am glad of my decision last night. Trust is a really weird thing. It was good to talk though.

This evening I walked. Got very wet. In my walking sandals. Lovely! My hair is as curly as a Monday pm post swimming.

And the one event that really made me smile today? Whilst booking my haircut. I have a weird love/hate relationship with Tony and Guy. Its not like the heady days of Fish (that was always a laugh and my male Aussie hairdresser and I would be there long after closing laughing like drains, those were the days), its more manufactured and corporate. Not helped ny the manageress being a petite dark haired woman who loves to woo her male clients. It's fascinating to watch. Going in to book my haircut it was she who took my request. Telling me there were two of me in the database (God help you doppelganger - mind you you are probably living the life I should have had OR its a case of duplicates in which case I am back in detention) she checked slots. My hairdresser Louise came bounding over (v v un-Tony & Guy like) and smiling broadly asked me when I was coming in! I was really touched by her genuine enthusiasm. I replied as soon as you can fit me in. I think she would have cut my hair there and then! Any way petite Manageress mumbled a time for tomorrow and printed out my appointment slip. Louise meanwhile smiled again and told me she would see me tomorrow. It really cheered me. The harden petite one out flanked by me the offish frizz ball and her energetic lead stylist. LOL. Not a laugh to make me ache - but defo a rather inward beaming grin. So tomorrow haircut! Hooray! Its gotten too long. Dye it v soon too. Ready for Eddie Vedder! ;-)

And now with the news that at 7th August - at 34 minutes past 12 the time date will read

12:34:56 07/08/09...

its time for candor under the stairs... ta ra for now and cheers chums - you're keeping me sane in that random way my life does.

On the Case

Monday is great for gathering information, karen, and adopting a detective-like fanaticism for uncovering the truth. Whatever you need to know you will be able to find out. Your focus is on getting to the heart of the matter and honing in on the truth. You may have to do a lot of research to get to this stage, but for you it will be worth it. The Lunar Eclipse in your personal financial zone is going to shake things up and cause a mini-revolution. Financial issues may come to a head, and bring up a lot of emotion. You may feel particularly vulnerable at this time. If you can create a vision of what you want to achieve, your financial dream, this is a good opportunity to be able to live it. If you use all your senses to bring yourself into the state of abundance you wish to attain, and keep doing this on a daily basis, you will eventually get what you want. The focus on your health zone may be the reason you have stepped up your exercise program and are now making sterling efforts to go the gym. The end of the week is best for creating fruitful liaisons, whether business or romantic.

-----

My simple life

UTG!

Light and Free

You are used to waiting out difficult circumstances karen, thanks to your ruling planet, stalwart Saturn, and your patience is commendable. However, sometimes action is need more than taking a wait-and-see attitude, and this week you are in a predicament that demands immediate attention. Tuesday Venus in Gemini in your sector of daily activities squares explosive Uranus and you may have no choice but to stop whatever you are doing and attend to a dilemma that unexpectedly pops up in your life. It's okay to apply a band-aid to your dilemma for now, just to give yourself a little breathing room while you think up a more permanent antidote to your predicament. A long-standing dispute with a rival may end for you on Friday, as Venus enters Cancer and your sector of competitors. You may decide to let bygones be bygones in this situation, and walk away from a grudge that you have held against someone who did you wrong. Even if you decide to cease interaction with this individual for good, you will find the inner strength and stamina to put this matter to rest, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Watch how light and free you feel internally once that happens.

Muse

Thanks to my hero brother I am now a Muse fan. Planetface - you can never confuse me with that Muse fan you know again.. it is really me!!

PS Rabbit is about to go to the Caribbean!!
PPS. When are you back - I am missing our lunches and chats....hope the holiday is going well :-)

Go England!!

After a fraught day yesterday trying to listen to cricket/golf/and watch Tour De France/Moto GP at least today England did the decent thing and bowled the Australians out!!

Hooray!

1-nil to the Poms - 3 tests to go...

Also worth saying well done Valentino Rossi - you are a genius... likewise Wiggo! Go Bradley a podium in Paris would be super ACE!!

Really - who needs football?!

On The Ball

The big news for you this week is the Solar Eclipse in Cancer, karen, which is going to stir up partnership issues and bring change your way. Solar Eclipses tend to initiate new beginnings, whether you are ready for them or not. If you have been moving through a period of real difficulty and have felt that the relationship was not getting anywhere at all - this may be the time you decide to call it a day. If your relationship is working and is strong, you may be tested by events but it won't have any effect on you as a couple. This Eclipse applies to business partnerships as well as personal relationships, including friendships. There is a big focus on health issues, which may include a drive to get back into shape and a decision to eat more healthily. At work you are keen to get ahead of the pack and to prove that you have what it takes to succeed. You may be more argumentative in meetings, and could be easily provoked. But at the same time you are the one coming up with all the best ideas. Enjoy Saturday and Sunday as you may get a chance to close a lucrative deal.

All sounds fairly accurate...

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Happily, things are not as bad as you feared they were about to get. Nor does it look, any more, as if your problems are due to worsen. Does this not, all on its own, constitute a vast improvement? And it is but the first of many positive changes that are soon due to come your way. Venus now forms a sharp angle to Saturn. You seek relief and reassurance. Emotionally, you want comfort, companionship and sweet understanding in store. Financially, you need to know you are at last on the road to solvency and stability. You can't expect all these things to come at once. But over time, you can expect them to come.

Please!!

Happy Birthday!

PC Anon!!

Mmm.

When you first arrived on this planet, you were cute, sweet and tiny. You had no opinions about what you were supposed to be doing - and nobody had any great expectations of you. They didn't mind how you spent your day, as long as you ate, slept and didn't cry too much. And you were happy just to live in a spirit of relaxed, open mindedness. That was then. This is now. Now, you've got a list, as long as your arm, of things you like and things you don't. Endless reasons why you can't just relax. A reputation to live up to. Responsibilities to honour. Some of it, you can't escape. But there is quite a bit you can get out of this week!

When you have finished this, you can start that. As soon as problem A has been settled, you had better attend to difficulty B. There is no time for a sandwich or a cup of tea. You've got to crack on. And on. It is partly because of your astrological outlook that you now feel so exhausted and overwhelmed. It is partly, too, because life has a tendency to send us all round on an endless treadmill. But at least your current source of stress IS helping to make a real difference to your future. Trust that you're not wasting your time. Believe too, in your entitlement to an easier life. Worry less and relax more this week.

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After yesterday I have to take some comfort from the final sentences.

Cheery flowers!

Various new piccies...

can be found here...

Friendly Fire..

Folkestone Invicta 0-3 Gillingham
TUESDAY
Dartford v Gillingham
THURSDAY
Faversham Town v Gillingham

Kick up the arse

was what I got Friday.

No two ways about it. It dawns on me now that indeed there are few people I am answerable too and so to wait and pine and live in some kind of foolish hope is ultimately futile. I knew this before but somewhere along the way I lost sight of it and started to place eggs in a basket that did not exist. I am free. I can therefore do as I please. And so I get round to the question of what. Well that sort of answered itself early this morning. I will go on the self improvement course - shake off these self imposed shackles and then I will take a holiday that doesn't co-incide with something else.. or then again maybe I will. Put myself first for a change...and all the while I seek to avoid being treated like a tap. Called upon when it suits others. What about what I may or may not need?! Never mind Karoona she's so strong she can deal with the lot.. it hurts more when you do try and open the dialogue and for a change try to share stuff with the accuser.. only to be kicked up the arse and made to feel needy.

Silly me. Why do I constantly put myself there.

Hey ho. I feel better already.