Thursday 22nd - Pt II

The curry house... or the fawlty towers of yea ole Bromley??

Okay okay so by popular Baggy demand the eating arrangements in Bromley were not quites as expected. You had the 2 'waiters' - I now know why they are called waiters - they sure kept us waiting...

We were seated in the frosted window and given a menu. Drinks came. The like a matador the older waiter grabbed the serviette and whipped it onto my Pop's lap, Mazza was next - I preempted the strike and did my own.

3 poppadoms arrived. And chutneys. Imagine if you will onions, mango chutney and then well red cabbage chutney only it was not quite so pleasant but yes it was that pink. The fourth Empire Spice chutney was a soothing bright green mint yoghurt sauce. It was like Ghostbusters slime.

We chose our food and closed menus. During this time other several couples had joined the fun. The couple to our right came in all smiles. After 20 minutes waiting for a menu they left. Eventually our order was taken. Some 30 minutes later it did arrive just as well as Pops was ready to say he was sick of waiting. It looked okay. However my chicken dansak had a weird fruity flavour and strangely when I tried Pop's pathia that too had a similarly strange fruity flavour. So the difference was the lentil content. Mazza went for the highly radical mixed grill tandoori. It came in a semi sizzling dish. However half way through meal one of the other couples had also ordered a tandoori sizzler so the older rather BO fragranted waiter came over and without batting an eyelid shovelled the remaining meats from my mum's sizzle dish onto her plate. Apparently my mouth was agog as I watched this happen. Sure enough but seconds later the sizzler dish for table no 6 appeared.

Pop ate as if his throat had been cut all day. Mazza & I were less convinced. There was indeed a lot of food not being eaten when I cast an eye around the room.

The toilets. Oh yes. No loo paper and no working hand dryer. I made a point of using the serviette on my return.

Quartered oranges appeared as did 'warm' towels. Mazza had watched as the hot towel dish had been snatched from other tables - refilled and passed to next table. Pops went to the toilets - I asked for the bill. Pops returned. Smelly waiter removed all our table ware. Still no bill. By now Mazza was talking to other customers - who said they had been given dished they had not even asked for. Still no bill. I made parents put coats etc on to make it look as if we were going without paying. Still no bill.

We approached the counter and explained we had a train to catch. Oh.

The bill had been lost. Somewhere in the kitchen. Nice. I made a point of checking it before we paid. I also request they put some loo roll in the toilets. Yes yes the toilets are over there. No use.

Certainly the worst curry ever. Tandoori Knights, the Akash, the Spice of Raj and my Brick Lane haunts are all safe. Advice from the lonely planet Fairbo - do not plan to go drinking or eating in the London Borough of Bromley. Makes me glad the KCC booted the place out!! And yes we missed the train too.