Saturday

Sleep well until heating comes on and head feels as if shrivelling. Get up and drink 2 pints of water. Have full blown conversation with myself. It's 5.30. Contemplate getting up at 6am and going for walk.

Go back to sleep.

Radio 5 comes on at 6.30am. Listen and snooze. Replay conversations.

9am Danny Baker. Stay in bed until 9.30am. It has not got any lighter since 6.30am. Have shower. Water goes from hot to cold and no reason for it.

Football today so wardrobe about warmth and the colour blue and the letter G. Thermal vest/tights. Jeans.

Various replies received from texts sent last night.

Sort out dirty washing. Place in machine. Go.

Put PC on.

Cook scrambled egg on toast. Eat breakfast. PC Microsoft updates.

Wash up.

Fighting Talk

Hang out washing. Still grey and damp outside.

Consult diaries to work out what menstrual cycle body is supposed to be running on and the actual one. Try not to worry about associated pains either.

At noon do routine leaving house checks and head for tube. Do not read book. Can't. Dip into a notebook from 2006. Amusingly it starts with drunken evening I chipped front tooth. Sentiments for January 2006 mirror those of 2010. Not inspired by lack of difference.

Stockwell. Continue to read through. The final days of the Nelson. Good old days?

Victoria. Queue for train ticket. Very quiet for a Saturday. Get a GSWL from Starbucks. Go outside have a cigarette. Watch as two Big Issue sellers compare notes. London rushes by with wheelie suitcases.

Platform 5 13.10 get on train. Train leaves at 13.22. Drift in and out of sleep. Head/heart numb. Mind dully churning.

Alight at Gillingham at 14.15. Walk to ground. Meet dad. Call him Captain Birdseye. Not amused.

Greet all friends in Block 1 Rows P & Q. Wish them all a Happy New Year.

Gillingham have 3 loanees. Tristan Plummer from Bristol City (a forward), Darren Dennehy from Cardiff City (a defender) and Rene Howe from Pete'boro also a striker. Such is the state of our team all three play. Dad engages in animated conversation with twin Mark and Chris about his mid week trip to Accrington. Today Five Live are at Accrington who play Fulham in 4th round of FA Cup today. Not us. We have Colchester. All 4,995 of us who have turned up at least.

A well earned draw. 0-0. We deserved something but a point is better than none. Train timetable change means an early and quick exit for the 17.15 train back to Victoria. Listen to Spurs v Leeds until Victoria. Tube. Stockwell. 6 min wait for a Morden train. Home - last 20 minutes of Spurs v Leeds. Typical. Another draw.

Turn off TV. Get washing in. Hang in bathroom to air.

Sort tea. Smoked mackerel, cottage cheese and then a soup.

Watch 'Silent Witness' on iPlayer 'Run' - Parts 1 & 2. Consider once more how each person is affected by their parents. Must get a card for my parents who celebrate 40 years of marriage next Sunday. Ruby.

Miss 'Casualty'.

Make cup of red bush tea. Write blog posts for Thursday/Friday and today. Open post dad gave me. Includes a cheque from an account I opened when misty eyed over a Financial Advisor Frazer. Ugh. Oh well. They have closed account. Only took them 12 years to realise I was not putting any money into their ISA account. Make another cup of red bush. Suspect smoked fish has made me thirsty.

Almost time for bed. Dread. Sleep or not?