This is a

post to say a BIG THANK YOU to a certain someone who today made a real effort for me.
I only wish I was able to articulate the things I need to out loud as opposed to having those conversations with myself in the bathroom mirror.
Do your ears burn?
Christmas gave me a lot of time to think and it all needs to come out sooner or later.
I have felt fury towards you.
And deep sorrow.
I have wished you could just be my friend - when I needed one too.
I have felt at arms length, so have kept myself there. Behind my wall of self defence.
Awkwardness.
I wish things were all so different but they are not.
I am a realist. Not an optimist.
But I still like to laugh and smile... with you.
For you.
So cheers. Many Happy Returns.
Sorry I did not spill my emotions and thoughts as you would have wished.
My tap is stuck.
And soon I will speak of many things.
Grey hair and wrinkles. Mainly. Perhaps.