Reality

Whilst being a superb album by Sir David of Bowie it's also where I found my self at 10.40pm last night.

The shadowy weight(s) I had been unconsciously carrying since mid November had been lifted.

Truth is life rarely mimics a song or a film. Happy endings are short lived.

The phone call. Well the missed phone calls & messages throughout the day to be honest. Sparky's mum passed away Thursday and suddenly the reality of life and death is stark. I met her a couple of times, the first I recall vividly as it was the Friday of the May Ball and it was the first time we met. Sparky took us to a pub off Charing Cross Road and I felt awkward at suddenly being positively someone's girlfriend. A few beers and all was well. I think she recognised back then I how besotted I was. Years roll by and our relationship ebbed and flowed. In those years I got to spend time with Imelda both in Ireland and in Australia. She was a strong woman who I could not help but admire. She had sorted her life to spend in 6 months down under and 6 months in her native Ireland, all the while surrounded by people who cared for her and for whom she cared. She always made me feel part of the family and I think secretly was pleased that Sparky had such a steady influence in his life (ha ha!). One of the most amusing events was when we stayed at the family home in Ireland and she let us use her bedroom. Funny how boys retreat to being shy in such situations. Mum is always supreme!

God bless Imelda, it's with great sadness I know we'll never meet again but I am glad we did meet - and yes I'll keep an eye on your long haired, oft singing, son. xx

In the meanwhile I feel further away from Sparky than ever and unable to be the support I want to be. Hugs across the time zones babe... xx