Saturday

I awoke with what can only be described as a real sense of emptiness. Nowhere to go. Nothing much to do. No-one to see.

I lay in bed contemplating if my head hurt from too many Early Birds from the previous evening or whether I was just feeling grey for other reasons. I got up. Sloshed a glass of water down my neck, put some washing in the machine and returned to bed.

When I did finally surface at 10am it was driven by my promise to Mazza to purchase a green top for her. It was enough of an incentive to get me washed and dressed. Albeit after a phone call to her, the Jehovah's Witnesses dragging me to the door in my PJ's and Cancer Research cold calling. I left the house at 1pm - the weather heavy and dense with warmth. Retail therapy has it limits. I purchased some much needed new trainers - my others worn from too many miles walked. Some three quarter trousers for said purpose and the green top Mazza wanted. Then to Boots. Hair dye. Argos. DAB portable radio. Next. I tried to resist. Failed. Bought some sandals.

Retail therapy is OK. But it's not the same as getting up, dressing ready for a game and catching a train/coach to go to a venue and lose yourself for 2 hours in the trials of your chosen team. I got back to the house just over an hour later. Time for food. I decided to go for a walk in the evening to avoid the heat. I watched Doctor Who. Then went for a stomp. New trainers passed the test. The evening air was still warm and the sky blue with splashes of red as the sun was slowly free falling down behind the sky line. The blossom and flowers were smelling sweetly. I was in a world of my own. No-one knew where I was, who I was or what the devil was going on in my head. So many internal conversations. Too many perhaps.

As I walked Alexandra Road with my head up drinking in the colours of the trees, no-one much along the street, it was with some surprise that when I dropped my eyes a rather dashing male was walking towards me and smiling. Coat over his shoulder, dark haired. As seemingly carefree as I. As he passed me I did wonder at myself for the strange feeling that waved over me as our eyes met. Life can be so weird at times. Looks of strangers. Smiles.

I continued at full pace only venturing to look behind me when much further down the street. He was not there. Silly me.

By the time I got back home I was very hot. It had been fun though exercising on a Saturday evening when the rest of the world were either dressed up for fun n frolics or sat idly watching TV with with their windows open. I slipped back into my bolt hole in time for 'Casualty' and 'Love Soup'. Thankfully the flat always stays cool. So I could chill back down and be content I hadn't entirely wasted the day, but finding a new weekend routine always takes time.