Tuesday, May 15, 2007

when

does being alone/of one/single become desperate to those close to you?

i wrote another post - full of anger and loathing - but in true me style its a draft. why share my deepest fears with the world...when this question sums it up?

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

desperate?...hardly, karoona.

Being single is about being strong and brave enough to live life outside of the suffocating blanket of coupledom. It is what women have been fighting for for hundreds of years not to b defined by their relationship to a man. It means you truly face up to what being free is about...

You go girl...you are least desperate person I know

Karoona said...

so why am I made to feel guilty/ a pain in the backside if I spend time with people; or one member; of a couple who are in the clutches of wedlock?

mentally second bested?

Anonymous said...

are we ever made to feel guilty or does the guilt really emanate from ourselves and we stick it on a useful peg?...hmmm, tricky one that and I am not sure about the metaphor.

and I am not sure about how the being made to feel guilty ties in with feeling that you are second best?

are you guilty? if so of what? do you feel second best because sharing time with someone who is in the clutches of wedlock or are they the ones making you feel guilty.

Most of the people we spend time with are involved with someone else in one way or another.

Not sure any of this makes sense really...sorry.

Anonymous said...

i have been thinking about this and it partially caused by the imbalance between how we fell about people and express those feelings and how those people themselves feel about us and show those feelings.

I have been in relationships where I have felt that all I am doing is pouring and feeding stuff into a black hole that just sucks it all in and gives nothing back. But that is because I did not understand what the black holes Hawking radiation looked like (a very poor analogy). What I mean is I did not read the other person's actions as giving anything back - because in a way I wanted it to be just me and the black hole. It is hard to understand what other people mean by their behaviour but they can be trying to do what we would like them to do without us recognising it. And so, we feel we are making all the running, and they are doing nothing, and we then feel as if we are trying to hard, overbalance and then feel desperate.

So the answer is to listen and view their beahviour in a new light.

Apologies for long comment.