Not a great start. Not good at all.
Wake up with a pseudo headache. The crossed words of the night before haunting me. The weather is grey and the upstairs protagonists are in. That's what happens when you have leave at the same time as the schools...remind me not to do that again folks.Eventually talk myself into doing my walk. The Wimbledon Wander. I have no purchases to make, so can bomb round at break neck speed. The aim is to get 4 miles in under the hour.
I leave the house at 9.30am and that already beats being moaned at for plonking down at my desk in an angry and apparently aggressive manner.
Wimbledon is fairly quiet but I pass through quickly regardless. I realise I do have a mission - new trousers for walking in. So CW Mall is the perfect place to end the morning. I potter round Sports Direct and find a brilliant pink sweatshirt, some trackie bottoms and a rather pleasant pale blue trackie top. Cool. 4 items for 20 quid. Then I venture into TKMaxx. TKMaxx is full of the usual tat and as a matter of fact they no longer seem to stock Size 8 shoes. Joy. I go upstairs. Pick up a chopping board and finally replace it. My only purchase. A new mug for work. Oh dear I used that 'W' word again. Truth is I am not worried about my job or my ability to do it. Projects have not entered my head. I am though crushing my brain thinking about me and where I fit, in that world now.
Still convinced I will go to Paris for 3 days I go to WHSmiths and buy... books. A French phrase book. A Top 10 book about the city and some Satre. 'Nausea'. It's how I feel. My head is bursting with self doubt and fear.
All this walking and purchasing has almost talked me out of booking any 3 day trips to Paris as I had thought at one stage I might do. Then I decide to wash net curtains and clean my windows. The witch upstairs re-stained her outside stairs before Christmas and my back window still has the drips of wood stain down it to prove it. It's cold outside but the sun and labour help focus my mind. I return inside. I eat crab sticks and mayo whilst surfing the Internet looking at city break deals. I can still go I tell myself. What will people think of me if I don't go? Why is it all so expensive?
The radio news tells of a suspect package at St Pancras and delays to Eurostar. My head hurts even more. I admit defeat. I am staying put. I then tell myself I have to DO something. Out come the walking books. Then I return to the Internet.
I go to Zavvi and look at the music section. Class - I can replace some of my vinyl LPs with Cd's. But a tenner each? So I pootle to Amazon. Ah that's better a fiver each. My total haul means 5 new Cd's are winging their way to me. Another reason to stay - so I can be in for the post man. What a pathetic excuse.
Monday evening. I force myself to stop thinking. Force.
I finish the remainder of my rather scrumptious veggie lasagna. With sprouts and peas for added ballast.
Settle down to 'Enders'. I am still wondering if I want Ricky and Bianca back on the Square. It's all too painful to watch. So 'Delia' should be respite. To be fair - it is. Delia introduces us to her personal trainer - Henry. Delia is not exactly pushing it when they take a stroll round her acred garden. But she is huffing and puffing. Mum & I text each other amusing phrases. 'Puffy tart', 'fat clove', 'stick these in my chopper', 'fun chilli for friends'. Watching as Marco Pierre White (a man she has never met before) open the new 'restaurant' at NCFC is also quite excruciating. Sure Zig would have done it for free!
I turn to ITV for my rare weekly visit. Monday nights are 'The Fixer' - a gripping watch and Andrew Buchan is fast becoming an addition to the FB swoon list.
I watch some of 'Coogan's Bluff' and decide bed is the best option.
Forget the day and awake to a fresh start... at least I didn't have to get the tube today!
Miles walked: 5.11
10127 steps
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