Optimistic October?

Well one can try. And I fear need too.

Made the connection that for 2 weeks each month I am a nightmare. The bad ebb. Thankfully I am currently in the good flow two weeks of the month.

Also made several other connections about my recently dark mood and where it has been stemming from. Two key sources - the fallout of my brothers trip and also the break away from work allowing me to look at situations there with a step-backed-from-the-situation view. I have to face the reality of both and deal with each much more maturely, however much each are upsetting me. Fact being I can't change either. So I either let it tear me apart or I rationalise each and move on.

I find meeting new people is a great opportunity to re-discover the good bits of yourself. To sell yourself as a person without people having predefined ideas about you or indeed no previous convictions! I also had a really good long chat with my oldest friend - we are both experiencing the oddities that come with mid 30's and no conformist milestones in our lives. It felt good just knowing I wasn't alone, and that I had such strong bonds.

I must stop looking and wishing for things I can't have and make the best of the things I do.

And with that I am looking forward to footie tomorrow pm and catching up with Pops after his trip.