Gloomy

Not sure why. Yesterday was one of those days. I lie - the weekend was one of those weekends.

I think my brain and soul had had its appetite whet by an unforeseen possibility. The truth of which means that Karoona has to finally bring herself into the real world and consider her practical options. The realistic options. As such the idea itself was great - in my mind! The idea of moving to somewhere slightly bigger and yet not so far from where I currently am really appealed. My own space to do with as I pleased. Anyway by the time I had finished my rough n ready research yesterday I begun to see that home ownership is not such an easy trot. I really need to talk to some IFA to get the full details of what are possible for me - but my excited dream state of Friday was soon quashed. It all seems within grasp and yet so far. And do I want to forgo having a life just to put myself in a place of security?

Never mind - at least it has got me focused on looking - be it at mortgages/new flats to rent or indeed ways of increase my income streams. So that in itself can't be bad.

I had some success yesterday though - WW weigh in - got myself back below 11 stone and that cheered me and of course it was pay day.

In a fit of gloomy joy I went to the bookshop. It's where I end up if I am feeling down or indeed up! My mission: John Updike's Rabbit series. Having just finished the wonderful 'Rabbit is Rich' I had tried to start Nabokov's 'Lolita', and indeed got 30 pages in, but in my mind I was still in Mt Judge with Harry and Janice. And I knew there was more of Rabbit's life to read about. And the nagging voice in my head wouldn't let me forget about it. So I hit Waterstones on my way to Waterloo and joy of all joys they had in the rest of the series. So I am now the proud owner of ‘Rabbit, Run’, ‘Rabbit at Rest’ and ‘Rabbit Redux’. I have started reading part of a series in the wrong order but that doesn't seem to matter. This morning a delayed Northern Line train gave me 45 minutes to meet Rabbit in his 20's. It felt great to be back! I think it’s the richness of the way Updike writes is what has got me so invovled – he makes seemingly simple things like coming home so vivid and interesting. I feel like I am there, a fly on Harry's shoulder. And so on a day when the rain is falling and my mind is elsewhere with domestic and financial issues it is kinda nice to know that this evening I can lose myself in Mt Judge and the life of Harry Angstrom.