Goodbye to all that

As departures go last nights was strained. The 'road' trip to Heathrow had been fractious - blame the M20, M26, M25 and M4 - or rather the idiots who drive like they are immortal. Terminal 3 is undergoing refurbishment, added to that, bad directions and poor signs to the short stay car park meant that by the time the Dinky Bus had parked up Stu was in a physical sweat. Ma was close to losing it. And I was relieved we had got there in one piece.

Check in was painless. But the terminal bar (the Three Bells) was playing 300 deci'bell' music and it was clear the travellers wanted to get on the plane. Duty Free cameras to buy or something.

A quick hug and it was over.

Good byes are always hard but this seemed to be more of a 'this country sucks see ya later bye'. I guess I have through circumstance got used to travelling alone with no-one to see me off or indeed welcome me when I fly. To a degree it avoids disappointment when the expectations don't meet the reality. I just felt for my Mum who being her ever generous self then starts to wonder what she has done wrong. I guess we all think too much - worse care too much and find other people's inconsideration a personal slur.

I don't know when I will next see my brother. The barriers of time, distance and people make me wonder.

I guess the reality of his absence for 7 years was cemented. My life and my family will always from now on be that bit different from other people's. No Sunday lunches in the pub with my bro. No footie games down the pub when England play. No joint experience as our parents evolve even further.

So today its time to reflect and get mentally prepared for getting back into my routine/life. Going back to what ever carnage awaits at work.

Happy landings bro - hope you genuinely had a good time - I certainly genuinely enjoyed your stay.