Leave

Ah the joy of leave. I had grand plans for the day. But with a need to listen to music quite loudly and plenty to keep me occupied round the house I kept myself inside my world. Washing, cleaning and all those chores which help retain sanity helped fill the day whilst re-living my live musical event of last evening. A time to reflect on times past.

This time last year I had just finished my Prince2 course and was at odds with my home life and just about everything. Easter is later this year so it has helped muddy the waters of my memories of what was going on 12 months ago. Suffice to say the time has flown by. A trusted friendship has grown from the tatters of broken hearts and shattered dreams. (ooh that was corny)

I feel though that this is due to be tested, as I now bear the responsbility, as a trusted friend, of the worrying life circumstances my mate finds himself in. Knowing me I will do the honourable thing and try to help him work these things through. I hope when I am older I still have the good friends I have now to share my ideas/problems with. My mate has no such avenues with his friends and it concerns me that the idea of friendship can be taken so randomly by him and his buddies. I am also concerned that he sees me as a lifeline and wonder where his ideas of us start and end in relation to my idea. All I wanted was honesty - now I am hearing it, it is all slightly too late and my mind and head are elsewhere.

Selfishly I am focussing on me and where I should be going. What I should be doing. (If anyone has any ideas please do drop me a line.) That all perfectly stated I am still here still plugging away with a career which has a dead end sign somewhere up the road and still desparate to do something mind stretching and satisfying. I know its in me - I just need to find the faith to make it happen. In the meantime I hide behind my pracitcal head and do what I do best - be strong, organise confidently and help out people I care about.

Oh did I mention that it took me 4 hours to update my AntiVirus Software today. So much for leave from work - I've been tied to my PC for almost as long today as I would have been at work?! But hey the totally free head space and escape from sorting everyone else out has been fun! You know I could sit here and write all sorts of things this evening. I feel in the groove...!!