Tuesday..

having overslept .. and starting my day two steps behind when i should have done - it actually turned into something of a good day - cheery. achieved lots and made a key note to myself - do not stay and watch a slice of a film... it not only makes you late for work it also plays on your mind all day. The film was Lawn Dogs. It drew me in because well it was so typically Amercian and yet not so at all. I gave up at 12.30... and all day i wondered what happened to the girl, the 'trailer trash' gardener and the relationships of all the others. The gardener - shot by a cop. Bullets where prevalent and unfaithful adults and the little girl saw it all - but she had such a vivid imagination and just needed a friend to listen. Sounds familiar!

On the train home apart from clapping eyes on a very attractive tall man - who sadly stayed on the train whilst i piled off - i wondered about solititude and greatness. Are the two so interwoven that only by being un-distracted can one be great? If i set my mind to disciplined routines and made myself do the one thing i profress to want more than anything i know i would have to close off my impromptu socialising. Two snatched hours at the end of each day could equate to a lot of pages written. . . but without social interaction what material would i have to work with? past experiences? too personal - for me perhaps not - i have few regrets. But for 'ficitional characters' maybe too close to the bone.

aah Gills are 2-2 with Wycombe - extra time.. heartening to see Byfield, Jarvis and Spiller all playing though - there is hope.

so solitude whilst highly satisfactory has some real come downs. but greatness is a self induced prophecy - and can one decide that greatness is due because of any unease one finds with finding a soul mate? uniqueness? or dullness!? its the time of year - most of the day is spent in darkness, and wherever you turn couples are in hats and scarfs keeping warm next to each to other - i know that what you see and what is really going on is always different - but everywhere you turn Christmas is looming and my thoughts on that are best saved for closer the time. then i can really rant about when solitude becomes bare loneliness.

and when i say greatness i do mean worldwide fame - just a sense that between two covers of a hard back was a piece of work worthy of discussion and consideration now and in the future. Beyond the years beyond even the technical revolution.

I wonder if Pepys would have used a blog in his day?

at least my brother seems happier - settled backinto his routine down under. good to have him back in text communication...

i wonder how other people are at the moment - i feel i need to talk but i also worry that when i get that urge i am being over zealous. anyway i resolved to have a earlier night so for now no more thoughts to share.