Was all overshadowed rather by the events that started towards the end of October. I have to say it wasn't really until today did I truly feel the weight lifted. Relief and joy. Having discovered the lump in my left breast and then being holed up in a hotel near work for 5 days solid I was unable to actually get to see the GP for a week. When I did it felt churlish - but there and then I was given an appointment to St Georges to the breast clinic. A day spent being poked an prodded and eventually having a biopsy. Which essentially means having a staple gun aimed in that area and drawing out tissue for the doctors to ponder on and test. The bruise has only just gone but the scar where they make an incision for the gun is still there.
A long week waiting with some discomfort and the unknown just hanging there. I worked really hard - buried myself in work work and coursework for my writing course and even exam prep for mid December. The week flew by - but was punctuated by a day of total anger which manifested itself in punching inanimate objects and then when the adrenalin had passed just sobbing at random things on TV.
Results day, afternoon. A long wait with numbers around me dwindling. To be told I was clear. I am not sure I ever imagined what it would be like to be in that position. Now I know. I retreated. Hid my fear by being strong and keeping occupied. And since then I have been coming to terms with how fortunate I am and how much there is to do in life. My friends kept me going - plenty of daily emails/texts. And my Mum lived through the entire experience with me - no matter how remote from her I was.
So yup on November 21st Blog turned 5 - off to primary school if you will. I missed it and have not been here too often. 2010 has posed itself as a challenging year. Emotionally certainly - but losing sense of physically who I was not on my list. I will endeavour to write more - in-between my creative writing work - which I am really enjoying!
And that's where I am off to now... ta ta.
Take care.
No comments:
Post a Comment