My World

gone crazy..

well not really just a bit unhinged, for a few days at least, never mind. Back to work for some solace and support. ha ha.

Forward March

As the curse of Southeastern Railways leaves me, the curse of British Summer Time arrives to replace it. I set my clocks forward pre-bed (having caught up with the last Ashes to Ashes - bit emotional I felt) - but somehow I still spent the whole of Sunday thinking I was catching up having lost an hour!

Walk - sunshine, blue sky and very low 747's over Wimbledon. Via shop for a paper and some veg for a ragout. Washing. Ironing. Fresh sheets and fresh face. The light lasting until nearly 8pm - bliss.

My relaxation when dusk came and I'd run out of steam - the new Big Brother - 'Tigers - Spy in the Jungle '- with Elephant cam's and log cams and trunk cams. What next?!?! Tops TV though!

The wild animals seeing their reflection - no doubt this will be an issue in years to come.. delinquent animals in Indian reserve...

'He Kills Coppers' - well sort of I was more engrossed in my crossword and then 'Mad Men' - which seems to have slowed...bed. LOUD radio and earplugs cos the uppers were listening to something rather loud.

Gillingham 0 - Carlisle Utd 0

It was a game of sheer of determination. Or was that me in my efforts to actually get there? Yes I left the house at noon and thanks to no Victoria Line and a engineering works I got to Gillingham Station at 2.40pm. Got to the ground amid chilly and wet weather.

We played better than usual and I refute the BBC's websites description - that the game was dire. We tried bloody hard and with Oli and Jackson up front we looked more eager than before to score. The shame of the game was that we were unable to get a last minute goal and take the 3 points. The saving grace? Those around us losing. Still we are in the bottom 4 and 4 points adrift of Crewe. The home game Tuesday is critical.

So at 4.55 I was pegging it to the station to catch a 5.10 bus. I got home at 7.30pm. What a day. What a total waste of 5 hours of my life! Tube. Train. Train. Bus. RUN!!

UTG -- see you all again on Tuesday.

Not my finest hour

SO I did the networking thing. I did the chat and friendly face of my dept thing.

I drank rather too much. But I remained polite and levelled.

I left. Walking home rang a friend and shared my views.

I got home. Slept.

At 8.26am I was called to make sure I was moving and on my way to work. I did - just. I did not wash. I did not know which way was up. Somehow I got to work. I do recall it was raining. Grey. Darkish and cold. The fresh air a blast to my otherwise drowning head.

9.45am I arrived.

9.55am was my appraisal.

I was touched and noted suit and tie combo. I felt awful. Ashamed. Weak.
I also felt a touch thankfully grateful that I felt so bad cos I had been dreading it so much. I managed with only one trip to the bathroom to retch whatever was left.

Somehow I said words. I helped set an objective or two. What a terrible reflection on me. I make the all too most of free drinks - to celebrate and wind down after months of hard work and the result is a gibbering idiot who just wants to curl up and hide.

I came home. It was harder getting home than getting to work. I lay on the sofa in a ball until my legs were fit to burst with pins n needles. I dozed as 'Inspector Linley', 'Midsommer Murders' and 'Murder She Wrote' played on in the background.

I wish someone could work my mystery out.

Now with cups of tea and toast n jam off to bed I go. To curl up and hide...

Happy Birthday!

To my tattoo.

I think you may have had an airing this evening. I think.

Have

Hit a wall.

The adrenalin and wound-up-ness which kept me moving for the last couple of months has bing'ed it's bolt and now I just feel deflated and very tired. Today so far has been a real struggle... the drive has gone. Someone stole the keys.

It's all hit me...

All.

It's not just me...

Thanks planetface for directing me towards an article in todays Guardian about my beloved football club...an uncertain future indeed.

Not happy.

Ease Free...

After the big board meeting yesterday I can hope for a few weeks when the letter e and the number 3 cease to invade my every working hour... I can but hope...
The meeting itself was well managed - everyone gave good and clear presentations. Just gotta hope that common sense prevails and that some re-thinking and structuring takes place...
Next up? Erm a holiday.
Feet up and no thinking or planning or meeting running or anything....
Oh and some appraisal stuff to do...

Port Vale 2 Gillingham 1

I cannot begin to tell you how I feel.

I listened to the first half on Radio Kent in the bosom of my family, but at 1 nil down and having missed a penalty I decided I was better off getting the 4.15 train back to London.

I couldn't help myself and went 'wappy' on my mobile phone to get the latest scores... I think I swore out loud to discover we were 2-1 down. Crewe at the time were winning as were Bournemouth. It ended with a Crewe draw - leaving us as follows:

17 Cheltenham 40 -17 47
18 Bristol Rovers 36 -3 45
19 Millwall 40 -14 45
20 Crewe 40 -16 44
21 Gillingham 39 -28 39
22 Bournemouth 40 -17 32
23 Luton 39 -14 30
24 Port Vale 40 -30 29

The plug has got us in it's swirl. There is only one way now. Gravity and inertia pulling us into Division Two.

The team were beset by 'injuries' (Cullip who made the difference on Saturday) and can you believe an international call up (Crofts for Wales) plus the four players sent to Coventry due to failing to turn up to training. Oh which I assume one is Facey - so that's a bonus as he is sooo slow. But Mulligan? Cox? We need our experienced players to dig us out of this turd fest. Look how much the team keeps changing - no wonder it doesn't settle.

Gillingham(v Bournemouth): Stillie, Richards, Cullip, King, Clohessy, Bentley, Crofts, Oli (Cumbers 90), Nutter, Jackson, Miller (Griffiths 81).

Subs Not Used: Kiely, Howard, Fuller

Gillingham(v Vale): Stillie, Clohessy, Richards, King, Nutter, Stone (Griffiths 59), Howard (Cumbers 75), Bentley, Miller, Jackson, Oli.

Subs Not Used: Kiely, Fuller, Bygrave.

So our run in looks like this:

Saturday, 29 March 2008 - Gillingham v Carlisle, 15:00
Tuesday, 01 April 2008 - Gillingham v Luton, 19:45
Saturday, 05 April 2008 - Millwall v Gillingham, 15:00
Saturday, 12 April 2008 - Gillingham v Swansea, 15:00
Saturday, 19 April 2008 - Bristol Rovers v Gillingham, 15:00
Saturday, 26 April 2008 - Gillingham v Swindon, 15:00
Saturday, 03 May 2008 - Leeds v Gillingham, 15:00

Spot the teams who are near us..., mm 2 of them, the rest are all above us therefore probably better than us... therefore I surmise we will be going to Grimsby and Rotherham next season....

Please leave me to be blue and glum. This may take some time to get over.

Blinder

It even smells of 1962!

Today

We (the 'girls!') need an away win!

Come on YOU GILLS!!

(My mum has no letters left on her keyboard and is still on Windows 98....need I say more?! What is the Power key for? Get outside of London and everywhere is backwards!! :-))

Hope you all had a spiffing Easter and the snow didn't affect you too much.....

Above the Clouds

Sometimes it seems like everything goes wrong, KAREN, while sometimes everything seems to go right. This week, the odds are certainly in your favor! You start your week off on a positive note on Monday by getting an invitation to an event you are looking forward to attending. Mercury and Venus conjunct in your sector of communication and you will hear from a lot of your friends and acquaintances. This is a great opportunity for you to jump-start your social life, especially if you are looking to meet new people. You will feel at ease when you talk to others, and be comfortable expressing yourself. You have a lot of common sense and are very practical, but you may decide to splurge on a lottery ticket on Friday, as lucky Jupiter in Capricorn sextiles Uranus. A dollar here or there will not break your bank, and you are too frugal to wager more than that anyway. You have a lot of uplifting energy encouraging you to move out of your normal boundaries. You want to soar above the clouds and may sign up for pilot's lessons on impulse. Of course, as an Earth sign you like always has your feet on the ground, so you may explore your daring side in other ways, too!

Gillingham 2 Bournemouth 1

6,540 watched as we won. Just. Thank You Mr Stillie for saving the penalty - else I suspect we would have lost. It was a bloody cold afternoon sleet n snow - so clapping and cheering were a means to keep warm. Kids for a quid and 'young adults' for a fiver helped swell the crowds - only for several at the Gillingham end to be pulled out again. Whatever they were doing I hope it deserved being removed... after all the rest of us had to stay and suffer. I want to say hooray we're safe. But Crewe also won and it puts us adrift. Adrift n doomed.

So off to Port Vale we go for an Easter Monday goal hunt....

Come On Gillingham...

...we need a WIN.

Thankfully 'Fighting Talk' is keeping a smile on my face.

And the thought of a long weekend in Nice...

Still

A waist!

Woh

it's 9.40pm and yes I am still at work - listening to Spurs attempt to beat Chelsea - doing well coming from 1-3 down to be now 3 all.

Spoke to soon - 3-4....!

Ooh - 4-4 - 9.51pm..

I will leave when the footie ends!! Honest.

Twerp

I wasn't going to blog today - but having just read this story I had to have a quick rant...

HOW dare he?!

Scally told BBC Radio Kent: "After Saturday, I'm disappointed, disillusioned, disenchanted and pretty disgusted by their reaction."

Following what can best be described as the most depressing game I have ever seen at Priestfield he has the gaul to be disgusted by US??
I for one did not boo. I rarely do. In fact most of those sat round me did not boo either. We were all too stunned/shocked Booing of itself never changed very much and right now I want to make changes.

Scally said: "Mark has come into a very difficult situation, he has had a lot of internal politics to deal with - there have been a number of players that have caused a few problems around the club which is unacceptable."

Erm and we seem to have got rid of players who are making their mark elsewhere in the Division - come back Danny Jackman all is forgiven based on the Northampton Town rise to success. Someone sanctioned the spending on players who have all but proved to be frankly ineffectual.

I am no expert but I can tell if a player has got it or not. Going out to Barnet in the cup was a low point. Bring back Iffy I say! Bring back Jarvis, Brown, even Hess! We need some leadership and dare I say it, some elder statesmen in the squad to direct this ship. Right now we have a team of nearly-made-it-to-the football-league-until-demented-Gills-took-us-on players. I so wanted to have the faith that youth could turn us round. But this league is tough and but for administration stripping other clubs of points we would be BOTTOM.

What's going on? Are we being driven down the leagues so the ground can be sold quicker and the team moved to some out-of-Medway place? Has the Bank finally decided to make us pay?

Whatever is happening I am deeply concerned that the future is not bright and certainly not paved with gold.

Accrington Stanley anyone?

Today

was a good day -

for a few moments I managed to forget my confusions

and I managed to accept compliments from unprecedented sources...

I even managed to leave work before 5.45pm, do my power walk and shopping, and then be home in time for 'Enders!

TTMIL

Talk To Me In Letters

What is it with acronyms?!

I may need this...

ITMWDTSF?

Please recycle

Your jars, tins, can, pots etc etc. Then I may go for it Deals!