Mm

Okay - so it's Saturday morning. Headache seems to have gone. Trying to stay relaxed so it does stay away. Already been to Sainso's to buy some essentials - mm how come 'essentials' came to 85 quid?! The only food stuff was long life milk so I can have a cuppa when I get back! How essential was half of the rest of the stuff???

I have put my washing out to dry and smell like fresh air. Currently the skies are blue and the breeze doing the biz - however whichever weather website I check I suspect it will rain again later... I'll be in Gillingham. Yes chaps last game for me for 3 weeks. Cheltenham. Gillsconnect suggest Jarvis will be out injured. SO I predict a loss. Such faith?!

Now listening to Fighting Talk. Ah! While hanging out my washing I did notice that 2 of the 4 advocado stones I planted have sprouted and are going for it! Hooray! I have helped create some life! Okay more later...

Success

Have found flight socks - and blind fold and ear plugs and all the really useful things to have on an 11 hour leg in the air... plug adaptor too - much needed for camera, phone and MP3... it was never this complicated when I went in 2001! Now for some hoovering... !

My brain

hurts. My head aches. My neck aches and whether it was a dodgy Pret yoghurt or just the opressive heat and general stress throwing up the contents of my entire stomach at 3am this morning was not overly pleasant. I have therefore spent all day in bed sleeping. Trying to settle stomach and head. The head is still throbbing - something it has been on and off all week.

The radio has been my friend, not that I was conscious for most of the day. Now I am just aware that I have Monday even more high pressured. Getting all my work things sorted. As for now going to brave some food and then thinkg about tidying up flat/doing washing and generally getting myself in some sort of order so that tomorrow I can start making piles of things to take.

Mum and Dad landed ok - if a day earlier than they had led my brother to believe. Oops.

Heathrow

Ma and Pa are at check in as we speak. Here's to them have a safe flight and my Dad's knee not seizing up! As for me I need to find my flight socks .. any ideas?!

7 more views...

and its a 1000! Let me know if it is you!

I am currently living with lists. Lists of things still to purchase for trip; list of things to pack; list of things to do before I go... I am feeling there are too few hours to do too many things!! Oh and the weather looks naff for weekend so washing of essential clothes to take could be a pain to get dry... fret fret fret!!!

Leyton Orient 3 - Gillingham 3

3 nil up to 3 all.

My god.

Gave away a penalty in the 77th minute and that was that - the door was kicked ajar and the Gills panicked. Lockwood (a defender) got a hat-trick and writes himself into O's folklore - well for the rest of this week at least.

We had most of the first half possession and again were producing good solid chances - but we are unable to put them away and captialise on these opportunities. So with the first half coming to a close and still no goals the nagging worry was in my head. First team to break this sort of deadlock will win. At this point enter Bentley (43), and in added time Ndumbu-Nsungu (45). What a great way to go in at half time. Orient never looked liked scoring at this point. Poor side in the never ending list of poor sides I have seen this season. SO second half the 1,000+ travelling fans were in full voice. We settled back quickly, no subs and opened up their defence fairly easily for a superb goal by the hero of the team, Jarvis (57). He will no doubt be snapped up in Jan transfer window - current rumour has Spurs sniffing round.

At 3 up we should have kept to our game plan and just kept the possession and kept pressure on their goal. To be fair we did. Then with 15 minutes to go it all changed.

It is, as they say, a funny old game. Suddenly the youthful chants of 'Easy! Easy! Easy!' were coming back to haunt us. I may get jeered for not singing but experience tells me there is a time and a place for most chants. This was not it. Flinders the wonder shot stopper (lovingly nickname David James by my Dad) pulled a man down - the home fans furious, pen given -- taken and scored. In my head I wanted us to do an Oldham from Saturday and get the 4th and make Orient suffer. We didn't.

3 goals and we yes f****** it up.

At least the tube ride home was painless - though I got in only 30 minutes sooner than I would have done from GFC.

A few observations. The away stand is half of the Brisbane Road side stand and its wooden, and claustrophobic when you try and get out - the exits are appalling. Tsk tsk those Gills fans puffing away throughout the game - nowt better than wiping out your fellow fans... And the re-developed parts of the ground look pretty swish - well the blocks of flats in each corner are certainly novel - providing their residents with balcony seatrs for them to watch each home game. Whatever floats your boat I guess! Pictures to follow also a grand total of the number of pikies who turned out! I ended up about 11 rows from the front and next to older fans. The chap next to me was fairly simple in outlook but shared his gum, was happy to talk about the home games he comes to from Brighton, and was visibly impressed at my away record. Not all bad.

Quick book update

Finished 'My Life as a Fake' by Peter Carey - good but not as good as 'Oscar and Lucinda'. Takes yoround Kuala Lumpar and yes fraid to say it Melbourne and uses the ideas of strands of Australian history to weave an intriguing yarn. But Carey's novels just seem to end. No proper conclusion or sense of closure. I am now half way through Anne Tyler's 'Breathing Lessons'... good recommendation a known admirer. Great way of spend hours on a coach - shame the way back was too dark and the coach over head light too weak to compensate...

Will...

I reach 1000 views before I go on holiday!? Come on kids come in and take a look - just a few rants about all things football!!! .. no more swoons over men though cos it makes for a 12 year old's diary material. Apparently. Then again that guy out of Spooks is sooo handsome!! Swoon swoon swoon!! And Shane Warne is on TV but his voice is starting to irritate me!! ha ha ha ha ha ha!! in an vaguely Australian had too many beers kinda of way... then again I better get prepared for that as well! ;-)

Cherubs and Mirrors

Late August Bank Holiday.

I had been for beers with a mate of my brothers and decided to take a walk around before getting the tube. Currently there are more than a few buildings on Cheapside being taken down.. here are a few of the views the disappeared afford us... mainly near to and including Poultry...

Today...

5 years ago I was in Hobart! The Tower Hotel and the long walk to the centre of Hobart, past the Oval. Salamanca Place and the pub quiz at the Irish Murphy pub whilst drinking vast amounts of Cascade Stout - the local brew! It was raining and chilly when we walked back! And we had an early start the next day as we were off to see proper Tasmanian Devils and visit to Port Arthur - the original home of the convict population...which I remember as being a fascinating and still full of ghosts of the past. Definitely had an impact on my memory.

Today however I was in London - Monday and for a change I was on fairly good form. Maybe its the demob effect - or maybe its the fact that with now 5 days to go I have plenty to prepare and sort out before I can leave with a clear conscience. So being busy gives me a buzz. I had lost a 1lb and generally felt very bouncy as I walked to and from WW at lunch time. COme the end of the day and more additions to my never ending list of things to do I decided to walk to Waterloo. The long way. It was nearly 7pm, the leaves were falling, the gates to the Embankment parks were closed and the final drops of rain were falling. The dusk on the river brought out the lights of the South Bank. Total contrast to the river in July yet still enough to make me smile. I want to drink it all in before I go away. Not sure why - I have this morbid idea about things and want to indulge in all my favourite views and walks before I go. Just in case.

The weekend was slightly odd. The relationship I have with my parents taking a few different twists and turns. I have no idea how it feels to be 65+ and no longer going to work. No concept of how I would feel if my day to day control and routine were suddenly gone. I wish I could provide answers but I suspect that's something you face when it happens and when you do get there habit and character are so entrenched it becomes harder to see the options. I also have no concept of what it is like to share your life with someone for 36 years, so its hard to know what to say. The shifting sands of parent child relationships. Yet as they are both among my best friends I suspect all I can do is show my concern and offer my honest views. Gently of course! Communication, communciation, communication. Which is why I have suggested to my future sister in law that we spend some time together while I am out there. A chance to talk and learn about each other. Nothing heavy just a means to connect perhaps. Gosh. Sometimes my assertiveness scares me. I never used to be like that!!! Maybe its my newly formed cleavage which has brought about this change of aura!!! Eye eye!!

Spooks!

Crikey - if that bomb had gone off Poppins would have been blown asunder and most of the Lovells offices...makes you think!

Oldham Athletic 4 - Gillingham 1

Ah. Another jaunt on a coach. We left the dawn filling skies of Kent at 7.15am and via two stops got to Boundary Park at 2pm. The second stop saw us near Stafford. The place was full of Bristol City fans. An omen perhaps?

The ground itself was fine enough. At least the seats had backs. The sun was not in the eyes and the stand covered. We supped a Boddingtons - well we were just off the Manchester ring road.

Boundary Park, Oldham

Found a seat and took some pictures of the ground, the weather more than tolerable for the time of year so a soccer shirt and sun glasses were the order of the day. Lots of singing and drum banging from the 247 Gills fans who had also travelled north. Cheerleaders came out for pre match entertainment, as the mascots of the land were amassing in some part of the UK for the Mascot Grand National held today. The cheerleading concept is pretty dire, but this one had a highlight, namely the groundsmen putting the underwater jet sprays on and yes soaking the poor little girlies.

The Teams run out... the only thing we did do right!

The result less impressive. The first goal was a mistake. Two defenders falling over each other and goalie helplessly looking at the ball in the back of the net. The second goal not much better. The third. Well kicked off for the second half. One touch long boot up the pitch. A bounce and oops its gone in over the keepers head. Embarassing. Where were the midfield? What happened to the defence. Two subs at half time couldn't rouse us. WAS this the same side who had filleted Swansea last Saturday??

We got a penalty. A minor achievement. And with Oldham exerting more pressure it looked as though we were going to sink the last Bristol City levels as per last season. Their last goal was a screamer and the pick of the bunch. And so the coach journey home. Quiet. I listened to music and dozed. By 10.30 we were home. Its one way to spend a Saturday and certainly not everyone's cup of tea. A fairly good day out - but a naff result and an indictment of the state of the league.

Our trusty carriages!

Oh well - Leyton Orient Tuesday pm. What hell will I go through then I wonder? Well not a 10 hour round trip coach ride that's for sure!!!

So much for sumptuous!

It's raining and grey!! (How terribly British of me!)

Sumptuous September!

Today the sun is shining brightly - the temperature is 27 degrees and it really is lovely. Too good to be at work! Damn - I had yesterday afternoon off so can't do two! Mind you the weather was as nice yesterday just more puffy white clouds. This week in fact has been very pleasant - people still outside of the pubs and the flowers and trees all hanging on to their last blooms and colour. The low sun - giving off it's more golden glow as opposed to the high pitched brilliance of July!

For these obvious reasons it has kept everyone's mood light and jolly! Hoorah!

Rigby and Peller

In order for weeding outfits to look their best I took Mum to Rigby and Peller today. It was great fun and also a huge revelation. How do you go from a 36B to a 32D in one day?!?! Erm by visiting here and being measured by eye! And so it came to pass - as suspected my bra size has been incorrect for the last 10 years!

Joy and des'pair'!

5 years ago

I was on an aeroplane bound for Australia for the first time. But 9 days post 9/11 and going via Dubai and Singapore. Nothing like a long flight on your own to have a good think about things. Which at the time included going to Mr G's native land. Flying. Terrorism. Seeing my brother.

Dubai airport - drinking pints of Guinness and talking to Journalists who were heading out to the less safe parts of the world. I would go on to see Melbourne, South Bank, Yarra River, Tasmania's Hobart, Port Arthur, The Great Ocean Road, the Twelve Apostles, Adelaide, and fall in love with Sydney. The Grand Final weekend. Meeting the mad tour guide Bernie. Teaching the European travellers all our best swear words whilst drinking too much beer and wine. Discovering Toohey's Old and Cascade Stout.

I guess for me the best part was discovering new places with my brother - for both of us for the first time. We both remember getting off the train at Circular Quay and being on Sydney Harbour (mind you I had just dragged him to Paramatta to see the haunts of Mr G). We went to pub quizzes. Made new friends. Shared hang overs and photo opportunities. We laughed a lot and fell out only once! I came home safe and sound to family and friends and a huge bunch of red roses. Aah life was good!

Now I am preparing to revisit some of the those places. My hair slightly longer and my fears lessened - I know the Australian feel and to be honest I love it. 5 years on I'm about to see my brother start the next phase of his life. New starts. New experiences.

New South Wales! Sadly don't think I am going to make it to Sydney - but hey I have great memories of it! NYE 2004 - the Fortune of War, the fire works and the bus trip in and out from Baulkham Hills, across the Harbour Bridge - seeing the boats all lit up. Fab!

Bungs

The lid blown off? Hardly. The proposition was that the Premierships cogs are perhaps being oiled in a way that is viewed inappropriate cf of a Panorama special with footage of undercover work amassed over 9 months. As a trained lawyer I was struggling to see the cogent evidence. The lid may have been loosened but I suspect the ranks will close in and the named will be ushered through as if nothing happened. Its too big a deal. Or conversely its actually not a problem at all. Maybe time will tell. But more infuriatingly in the after show discussion on Five Live was the obssessive nature of 'the top flight' fans where the majority of these done deals are alleged to have taken place. People ringing in and complaining that the programme had tarnished their 'love of the game'. WAKE UP people. The game has been tarnished for over a decade. The sums of money in the Premiership are astronomical. The balance between them and the lower leagues is well and truly tipped. The amount of cash some of these bungs are said to amount too would pay the wages of some lower league players. It's all warped. The notion of home grown players working their way up through the divisions - long gone.

My passion, My 'religion', My romance.

The more fundamental questions need to be addressed... Does the FA want to ensure grassroots continue? Can the FA stem the tide? Financially how many more clubs are going to have dalliances with adminstration? Will the sport only be satisified when all that remains is an elite division of 20 clubs with all other leagues disbanded? I do wonder.

Hairdressers

During my haircut I had time to observe the randomness of the hairdresser conversation... it ping ponged from problems with spilting with a boyfriend yet still wanting to each go to the same social places (what should I do? what would you do?) - and then from nowhere 'So what do you think of what the Pope said?'. (He had mentione d something about the Isalm text and upset the Muslim community leaders - no doubt context and exact words were lost in media translation but it had indeed been top story on the news). I was intrigued listening to these exchanges, as thankfully my hairdresser is a more introverted character. She has a strong and silent aura which makes her stand out from the blonded and stick thin others in the salon. By the end of the conversation all religion had been denounced and the world made to turn much easier. Mmm. I suspect that no religion would mean that man would find something else to argue about. Anyway the balance was restored as several dashing office gents came in for their trims... the girlie snippers all swooped and swooned in their direction.. I guess my haircut was no where near as interesting to watch compared to aftershave clad slick city gents...

I seem to recall

the 19th September was Mr Christmas Tree's birthday. There's a blast from the past!

Have logged my error issues with Blogger this morning - I am still smarting about losing such a long post - but at least I know I have now helped the greater good by reporting the issue!

Have a haircut at lunchtime! Much needed.

Oh and the Metro headline this morning stated the bleedin' obvious 'Global Warming IS fault of man' (note not woman!) well I am glad I didn't have to pay for that particular newspaper....(worth picking up though for the pictures of the American Ryder Cup team in their tweeds and tank tops!!?!?! My how modern!?)

Celeb Spot...

Saturday pm as I walked safely back to the station...
Michael Howard Tory MP walking into Redfern Ave. He looked very ill to be honest. But it transpires he is a Swans fan. Would explain it. Or perhaps the look of Tory Blue contempt headed from my way made him look a bit unsettled?!

Certainly quieter walk back. Have to say most of the police men on the route back looked very tasty! Am I getting old?! No I didn't say they were looking young!

Busy..

hence no posts.

And those I have penned have been lost when I try to publish. So a potted version of my recent 'lost post'.

Spooks. Why was it grey weather wise on the bridge when Adam and Ros met? It was sunny in town?
Men - why walk with a hand in your pocket?
Dr S - I was discussing how brillant being in Bristol with you had been. Pity the weekend was a no goer - been good to catch up.
Trip to Australia. Excited. Apprehensive - leaving work in its current aura/London/ 24 hour flight.
PC - took all my time yesterday.
Ripped cd's.
Went to bed at 1am yesterday, if I rewrote my original post for today then would be doing so again tonight.
Going to save this as a draft... BRB
Big four Prem teams - erm 2 goals between them.
David and Sophie (voice of Vicar Janet) to song before Sam seduces Ruth.
ooh Christian Bale on FIlm 2006. AND David Bowie!!! I say.

I HATE BLOGGER

My last post has been lost.

I AM SOOOOOOO ANNOYED.

ARGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Gillingham ootball Club

During the first half a precision shot took out the F on the Gordon Road Stand... so we are now Gillingham ootball Club. Shattered like a piece of sugar glass. Moderately amusing as no doubt the cost of replacement mean we will stay that way until December!

Gillingham 3 - Swansea City 1

Blimey! Another win! And it such style!

We were supreme! Totally supreme!

'Looks like Cox and Jarvis destroyed us from reading the press reports', Swansea Jack.

My response: It felt that way when I was there on Saturday pm – but seeing the goals on the Championship yesterday morning it all looked a bit Sunday am in the park.

In truth Jarvis’ goal was a beauty, as for Cox he is always liable to score the odd one or two – so that’s him for the season! It was pretty amazing seeing us push harder and actually string together passes and shots. We should have had more goals. The Swansea boys looked a bit lost. Perhaps they shouldn’t play in black when away! The atmosphere when the second went in was of joy. Some relief, which was heightened by the third. I refuse thought to start singing 'easy! easy! easy!' when this happens as I suspect it is bound to turn the result on its head! It didn't. Even the substitution of our former player T Williams wasn't enough to upset our apple cart! Top performance! Was proud to wear my shirt! Very proud indeed!

I am off to Oldham Saturday for my first proper away day this season – that will be a test. Can’t believe how tight the division looks now… here we go again. Just hope we can retain some sense of form. Report and travelling fan pictures to appear here at a later date!

Bring on the Swans!

I have a bet on this. Swansea Jack reckons 2-1 to the Swans.

I reckon 1 all. Maybe 2 all. A draw either way. Oh and no fighting ont he way back to the station afterwards.

Read all about it here tomorrow pm!

Blackberry..

I have been in possession of a Blackberry for a year now - but its sole purpose was as a test bed for our developed software email elements via our test email account.

I have not switched it on since April and consequently an Ops guy came to check that I still had it. I did. I do. So I switched it on and charged it up knowing that I would then put back in my desk drawer and forget about it until Christmas again. I mentioned this in passing to my boss.

It has now been altered so it uses my mailbox.

I am now emailable no matter where I am.

I feel slightly perturbed at this thought.

Wow!

It was good...

As I walked to Bank tube with my ruck sack of nearly purchased books - this guy walking towards me caught my eye. I thought Oh no another drunken Londoner... but no - he looked at me smiled and as we passed said 'Hey, great outfit!' ... I said Hey thanks, smiled carried on walking and thought of my earlier posting - yes I did get a spring in my step but better still I realised I wasn't alone in my desire to share some good vibes for a change. So whoever you were Mister - THANK YOU!

What WERE the chances of that ever happening? Let alone today? Straight after I'd posted a thought I had been having for weeks..... ?!

Wouldn't it be good..

if when you saw a person on the street who looked top motch in their chosed outfit you were able to shout to them - 'You look fab!'. Just share your thoughts with them so they had a spring in their step...

Football

An considered update.

Wednesday morning Five Live were talking about fans leaving early. And how you should never leave early - and name the game you left early and wished you hadn't. I nearly texted in to say game I wish I had left early and the reasons why.. oh yeah to avoid abuse and missiles. But I didn't.

It seems the press still have this remit to convey to us how rosy everything is in the fans garden (except England games when the hooligans become prime documentary fodder again). Well clearly it is not.

I fully understand that GFC are seen as the local enemy. We live in caravans, they live in tower blocks. But even in previous meetings (admittedly Saturday afternoons) I don't recall scenes like Tuesday. I do recall boarded up pubs and generally waiting for a later train, maybe that's why I have missed all this 'action' in the past, but certainly not the anger and desire to get stuck in. I wonder what it would have been like if they had won and been strutting their stuff? Will I go to the away fixture? Maybe I will - just to get a balanced view. Away crowds do tend to be more vocal and predominantly males who want to spend their spare cash on a Saturday away day. But this was a Tuesday - an evening. Mmm. Maybe more beers pre train down and then some on the train. I am keen to see how the fans are on their own turf.

Quick aside! I bought my 06/07 shirt on Tuesday (another rant on that front - 40 quid for badly sewn together pieces of horrid material 'stitched' together in some kind of random way - disgraceful) and today when emptying out my rucksack (to put new reads in) I found a plastic bracelet (like the make poverty history ones) which is blue, and white (and red - another rant moment looms!) but says 'The Gills Twelfth Man' and rather patronisingly 'Never Look Back'. Huh some of us don't forget the past - our past. So now I have two! The other is even less obvious! Thanks Dad! Both are now hot discussion points!

Goats.

Not sure why - just wanted to say the word.

Strive to get to top of mountain? Cling on to even the craggiest ledge? Not sure.

Maybe someone has just got my goat?

I can tell you that I do not like goat's cheese. So there.

Gillingham 2 - Millwall 1

Boy oh boy. I can't remember the last time a game of football felt more like a war game.
As a brief round up we won. Darren Byfield got booed and jeered a lot and the Millwall fans were their usual charmless selves. Mind you the Rainham End was more vocal than they have been for ages (what did Darren do that was so awful?). Anyway there were several 'handbag' moments on the pitch and a good smattering of yellow cards. No reds - credit to ref to be fair. 4 minutes added time so on 2, I nipped to tunnel early to avoid rush and make sure I got my train - my usual trick on a Tues night. But. But that was the easy bit..

View from the Rainham End ...

The walk back to the station was made difficult as the police were only letting Wall fans use the direct route. When asked if there was another way to station the response was yeah wait til this lot have gone, this while several fans were being grabbed and pushed up against the police vans. I could tell then that that wasn't going to be for a while. So I spotted a fellow London bound fan and followed him. Got to the station and as opposed to walking round to front ducked through side gate onto coast bound platform to cross over bridge to London bound side. My god the London bound side was 6 deep in raging Millwall fans who on spotting moving targets decided to throw coins across the tracks. The fuzz just let them, even when mentioned as passing them at the top of the steps. Grinning goons. It was just waiting to kick off. Not sure how many were arrested on Balmoral Road - but the MB says there were several groups arrested near their houses. Its moments like these which give the game its bad name and more to the point add weight to the myth that is Millwall.

I knew tonight would be spicey - it's the first time since the championship that there have been police at the station or indeed on the train down from London. Not sure if so many help or hinder really. Just encourage those fans who want to be mouthy and irritate those of us who don't want to miss our train.

Hey ho - no doubt more comment and observation tomorrow when I have calmed down a bit...

Needless to say back on form vs the Wall.. come on then kids where was your 'Real Talent, Real Passion & Real Football?' - More like 'Really Poor side; Really vile fans and Really nothing to recommend you to me.' Shame really. No-one Likes Us is a good song. I mean we even borrowed it for a few seasons. But not anymore - The Last Waltz... boy didn't that set of fans have the local bobbies dancing and a few of us fuming.

Right my head hurts and my bed beckons.. well done Gills - lets keep it up and collar the Swans on Saturday!

UTG!

The Apprentice

Cf Beeb web:

Paul Scally says he will step down as Gillingham chairman if a suitable investor who is in a position to take the club forward makes an approach. Scally, who has been in charge since 1995, is unhappy at being booed by fans after last week's defeat to Scunthorpe. He intends to complete his objectives for the club - which include announcing new stadium plans before Christmas and restructuring the club's debts. But he will leave early if the right party wants to take over the Gills.

Why do we need to move to a new ground? We can't fill the one we do have and the debts are mainly down to trying to provide the current venue with facilities which would tide the club through - ie tops conference rooms and a new club bar. The are not tiding us through. And if we move, how are half of the Medway Towns gonna get to the ground? The beauty of Priestfield is that its a scoot away from the station. Move it to some out of town site and even fewer youngsters or London dwellers will bother to go...
Keep it local. Use some imagination to fill the ground we do have and then use the cash to buy some players - worry about a new site when we are on the cusp of the Premiership...grrr.

Team news for later... Jackman out (suspended following red at Donny) Sanchos (Grent) late fitness test. And needless to say Millwall are likely to field our ex-hero Darren Byfield. Let's hope he can't be bothered to score!! We'll show em whose got Real Talent, Real Passion and Real Football!

UTG!

4pm

is generally when the cravings are at their worst.

In actual fact it's amazing how much the working day was divided into ciggy break stops. The first generally before 10am; one at 11ish; one on the way to lunch, one on the way back. Then the afternoon shift - 3.30 or 4pm or 4.30 or 5pm. Generally one or two of these options. Then if really naughty a 5.30pm one before returning to the desk to finish up and shut down at 6ish.

This morning we had an outdoor tea stop. No temptation at lunch (too much oil in my spag bol for me to contemplate nicotine as well) and provided the trains are ok later there won't be too much time to stand around and crave one. I have a bunch of bananas and bag of pears at my side to negate the cravings. Fruit has to be better for me than chocolate or crisps.... Not sure if talking about it makes it better or worse - but I reckon keeping fingers busy is a help....oh and not talking/telling everyone about it. Apart from here.

Its a long way to fall.

Mission Accomplished

2 boxes of Oatibix acquired this evening... yum yum!!

Confession

Furry and I pledged to quit smoking this week.

So far I have failed. Four today. But now the packet is finished I intend to try harder tomorrow.

So sorry Furry - you are 3 days ahead of me which means the nicotine is out of your system and I have the joy of not giving into my cravings to come.. that said I have had half as many ciggies today than usual and I know from past experience I can do it. Just need to be strong and know it is for my own good.

So tomorrow is the beginning...of the ending.

9/11

9/11; September 11th; doesn't need much introduction or description. I am guessing we all know where we were and how we heard the news. How we feel the world changed forever that day. The repercussions are afterall still filling the news to this very day. The situation in Afghanistan and Iraq bear witness to the West's response.

I have watched nearly all the 9/11 programmes which have been on over the past week. Channel 4 have had some interesting documentaries - especially the simply titled '9/11' - a story told by two French brothers who were making a documentary about a 'probbie' - a firefighter on probation in a downtown fire station. They were ruing the fact that all summer the probbie had been a white cloud for the station - meaning that the summer had been quiet in fire fighting terms. The documentary makers were with the fire crew who went out to investigate the gas leak earlier that morning - putting them on location to film the first plane hitting the North Tower. I watched this programme and the feeling of shock at witnessing the events was still there. Goosebumps and hairs on my neck upstanding.

'9/11 the Miracle of Stairway B'; proof that every day decisions can be the difference between living or dying. 'The Path to 9/11', an examination of all the decisions prior to the main event from a supposedly wealthy and informed government. The fact is that to avert the terrorists takes money and time. Perhaps this time and money should be directed to listening and understanding.

I wonder if so much time and effort will ever be invested into the stories of the other countries suffering from bombs and daily loss of innocent life.

When will man ever learn? Today the western world seems to think the war on terror is failing. So what are we fighting for? The world has changed so much in five years. The awareness is always there. But the problem isn't going away - where there is a will there is a way - as I am sure future events will prove. In the meantime - tell the people you love that you do and treat each other the way you would like to be treated. It's a precious commodity yet day to day we take it for granted. So don't.

For all those wherever they are who have lost their life needlessly - may your god be with you.

Hilarious!

Top Gear - best of last night... which to take a snippet from the Radio Times included, 'Richard races a Porsche Cayenne against a man in a flying squirrel suit, and all three presenters risk everything, including their credibility, as they embark on a caravan holiday.'

The caravan holiday had me in fits of laughter. Where was the joy in that?!?! Bad parking. Emptying the chemical toilet. Trying to 3-point turn the caravan and car so badly that the police were called. Finally chip pan totally exploding the caravan and upsetting the caravan parker next door. I suspect it was largely staged as the chaps dislike caravans generally - but it was better than most delibrate comedies! Superb!

Word of the Afternoon...

Result!

Doncaster 1 - Gillingham 2

How on earth did we manage that?!! Wish I'd been there now ... had a good day out to Donny last season...

2 nil up at half time with 10 men. Fought our way to 90 minutes with a win and 3 points. I must wash my Gillingham shirt more often!! :-) Roll on Tuesday night's home game against Millwall! (Which let me say the game at the New Den today saw my friend get sent off nevertheless Brighton still won!!) Hopefully the result today has also cheered my Pops up - he has been getting very low regarding Kent sporting teams...

UTG!!

We love you Gills! Especially Flinders who by all accounts was a magnificent man between the sticks!

Word for the Morning

STICKLEBRICKS!

Just for cheesy

Word of the day...

EFFLUVIUM!

Creaky!

Okay okay - I submit! My legs and back and sides ache more than yesterday.

We are between us in the office doing impressions of the OK Corral... John Wayne eat your heart out. We've got off our horses and are drinking our milk whilst walking around with bandy legs! Mind the gap at Embankment - the only way to do that gracefully was to nose dive off the train - not step.. any bending or extending of the leg is comical in that I have lost control over it! It happens or it doesn't! I realised last night the true meaning of slept like a log - it was the only to sleep - any form of movement or trying to shift into a comfortable position was a mission. I gave up and stayed as I was...

Today is a Full Moon...

What weird and wonderful events will that precipitate?!

(apart from my legs seizing up so I am forced to stay at my desk ALL day)

Update: Erm Tony Blair re-affirmed what he had already told us... the sun shone. The trains and tubes were their usual hit and miss selves. And well that was about it really. No-one discovered the meaning of life - or stopped people being killed overseas - or indeed here. I was far from the predicted tetchy and in fact powered through some tasks in the morning and the afternoon achieving all I had set out to do. The one major change? I bought some storage boxes for the kitchen to throw my recyclables in to... not exactly rocket science huh!!

It was though this day last year I started talking to Thesp. And in a months time I will be at my brother's bucks party - which for those of you not Auslingual is a stag do - the honorary bird allowed to attend! Contraversial?!

Crikey!

I have discovered muscles I never knew I had.. or rather I knew I had but had neglected to remember they existed!

Our plucky team - JohnTec, Fai, Rav, Dan, Terry and erm me did ourselves enough justice. Played 4: Won 1, Drew 1, Lost 2... Rav scoring the only goal in our last group game. As ever the level of fun versus serious contenders depended very much on which group of lawyers we played...

One chap, who wasn't very good, did spend the entire game shouting in a deep Yorkshire accent, 'Turn and face, turn and face', 'Come on - team movement', 'Who are you marking? - come on mark up' and the best one 'Don't let him get away from you'... to which I retorted - 'Good grief Dan don't get away from him!'. I guess our team ethic was to survive the 4 lots of 10 minutes and see how we could do - no pre tournament practice or really any tactics. The teams are only valid with a girl playing - so I was on for the full group stages. Our main tactic - everyone (except me) to take a turn in goal (John Tec proved rather groovy at this role) and the team to have a rolling sub.. so it was for us a 5 a side team. I quite enjoyed it! The plucky underdogs against all other teams of at least 2 girls and most had 'squads' of 12+ (I wore my Gills shirts - the one Chippy used to play in!). We came joint bottom of our group level with the turn and facers in green. A few hand shakes and a few laughs in the pub afterwards. Team spirit was high as we consumed several pints and polished off a very large bowl of chips, quiche and naan bread which our goalie had saved from upstairs. All in all a postive day - at one point they even started to talk about the work shop I had run through with them in the afternoon! Confidence boost for me and I hope them (being the whole dev team - not just the plucky dev footie team!)

Me...?

Your Birthdate: January 2

You're so intuitive, it's like you have a sixth, seventh, and eighth sense. You connect with others freely and easily - and you tend to have many best friends. Warm and caring, it's hard for you to close your heart to anyone. Affection is like air for you - you need to give and receive it to survive. Your strength: Your universal compassion Your weakness: Your unpredictable mood swings Your power color: Mauve Your power symbol: Butterfly Your power month: February

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

GFC - Admin?

There have been lots of stories on the MB and many posts about the dire debt we find ourselves in. There have even been Rotherham fans posting messages of support. As ever its the fans who will suffer and for a place like Gillingham the community. The club has an impact beyond the week in week out results at Priestfield - football in the community, the youth policy, summer soccer schools etc.. all events and projects which provide an outlet for the locals. I dread to think what state the Medway towns will become if this potentially bigger beacon is lost. The chairman needs to start working out a business plan to maximize inputs into the club. No more moaning on about the failed ITV Digital deals. They are history. The Medway Stand was over budget and by all acounts the function facilities are not generating the income the club would like. Results breed interest. Results depend to a certain degree on the qaulity of player on the pitch and hence the associated wage bill. We don't get TV money. We don't have a rich benefactor waiting to bail us out. We don't have the results and we are fast losing ticket sales a the turnstiles. Football is no longer romantic. Its business. And if a company were making such huge losses and not paying any dividends to its share holders heads would roll.

As a fan of my club I invest my cash in my team - in travelling, in buying a season ticket, in emotional ups and downs. I regard return on my investment differently to that on the return I'd expect from my savings plan, however I would say I was hardened and also fortunate enough to have those spare pounds to make that investment... I have seen us rise from Division Four to the heady heights of the Championship - trips to Leeds, Arsenal and Chelsea to boot our FA Cup dreams. And now I sit on the helter skelter as we slide back down - to where we belong perhaps? I fear not - we belonged in the Championship 'the plucky side from Kent'...

How much longer can the club go on leaking money and as the debt rises the fans depart like rats and the proverbial sinking ship?

Our chairman was shocked by the chants on Friday night. I recommend he get used to it, as unless he unveils a miracle plan very soon I suspect they are going to get much louder and more frequent....Yet is administration the answer? Automatically lose 10 points and face the reality of Division Four once more... and this time it will be a sticky quagmire with fewer chances of escaping. Yet through all this the headline football story today? Gallas threatening to score an own goal in his first game for Chelsea if they refused to let him go.. I suspect his wages for 2 years would knock a nice dent in our debt. Madness. Utter madness.

For my readers who dislike my footballing posts - I make no apologies. This is part of my life and I will be sharing progress good or bad as and when I want to. Beware - I have a feeling it's going to be a very very rocky season.

Oatibix!

Are the best new breakfast cereal!

Which may explain why since I bought my first box they have never again been seen in SavaCentre... thus from my box of 24 I am eeking them out 1 a day until I can secure another box. Mind you the cereal aisle in said supermarket looked as though a swarm of locusts had been through it this evening and swiped the lot... more baron shelves than you could shake a stick at. So I bought some Cheerios instead. No pun intended...

Need a laugh?

Then come to Coram Fields tomorrow evening and see me 'try' and 'play' football!?

Yes the annual works 6-a-side is on and each team must include a female player... sadly for our team that means - me, me and me... What I have failed to tell the guys is that I get quite aggressive when I play football (take after me Dad) and I also haven't run for any length of time since I was 13 years old.

I suspect I may be more use to the team dressed in a fursuit and being the mascot - wooing the fans and turning the event into something out of 'It's a Knock Out'. I will try and get someone to take some piccies so you can at least have an online laugh - perhaps make it pay per view. Well it worked for Sky...

Wish me luck - I sense my smoking days are about to catch up with me and worse the lads are not going to appreciate me doing so when I should be in the penalty box scoring (girls score a goal = 2 goals. I think our captain has plans to just stand me on the penalty spot and then play pin ball with me - I mean with an @rse my size something should deflect off and in surely?!).

You never know I may surprise myself and then GFC will have to sign me up....

Hold the front page..

September AND everyone is back at work/on tube. Well it has felt that way the last few days.
The tube was manic this morning at 8.30am and much busier yesterday when I wandered on at my more usual time of 8.44am. And it was not much better after work yesterday - despite an after work drink's do delaying my journey until gone 8pm. Not sure which state I prefer - emptier tubes and quiet non-stressed office but the tangoing around heaving lost tourists OR packed tubes, busy buzz at work and emptier pavements...
Either way the walk to Waterloo this evening at 7ish was most calming. The walk itself was at least. The cyclists on the pavement were harassing me though. I think I will create some stop signs to hold up to them in future - or get a t-shirt made with the message on front & back.

The walk was also punctuated by the sudden London evening phenomonen.. freebie evening newspapers. I ducked from the first vendor but as I walked along the Embankment it was clear I would have many more men and women waving papers at me to dodge. So I took one of the new London Lite's and then one of the London Paper. I soon discovered that this meant I had a defence mechanism - I could hold them both up in a pseudo V sign manner to avoid further harassment. They are both free and the winner by a minute mile is the London Lite who seem to think that Gillingham is a London club... mmm. Not strictly true but if gentley reminds all those Kent people who flee to the City at weekends that there is a club on their doorstep I'll be happy. It's also a treat to see us mentioned regularly for a change..

Dates

As a brief update to dating...
Date #1 -- see previous pastings. Now back in Cornwall. Nice eyes but short.
Date #2 -- shelved on the basis of a phonecall. I believe you can tell a lot about a person by their voice. I heard enough.
Date #3 -- took place @ a pub in Clapham Sth today. He was shorter than Date #1 and the date lasted less time. So obvious was it an 'internet date' that even the fellow drinkers in the beer garden were commenting to each other about how lacking in spark we were. Oh well.

Cilla you need not buy a hat and I shall be hibernating from my seach for the next 2 months...I fear I have issues I need to resolve and bascially my heart isn't it - nor do I have a sense of excitement about any of it. Timing is all.

Bottom..

OF THE LEAGUE... well we would be if Rotherham had not started the campaign with a -10 point deficit.

Where do we go from here?

10 million in debt and the revolt has started.

Gillingham 0 - Scunthorpe 2

Following a hard day back at work on Thursday my clearer head meant Friday felt less onerous. That and the 'excitement' of an evening trip to Priesfield kept me brighter than the previous few days (some might say weeks). So off I shot at 5.30pm for the 18.12 train to Gillingham. In my carriage were a group of fellow Gills fans - drinking their cans of Stella and talking about the Scally Army and how their partners weren't happy at the number of stag do's they had been on. (These sorts of conversations make me wonder why women still try and deprive their men of their masculinity).

Got to my seat at 7.15pm and watched the sun as it set over the away end. The crowds began to filter in at 7.40pm and here we all were again. Except the twins were absent, the Pie family missing and my Dad was testing his mental mettle at a wine and wisdom.

Gills started brightly, a good early 10 minutes. We had several chances which we failed to convert. The rest of the first half looked like ours for the taking. But then Scunny exerted some pressure. A corner. A goalie with legs like goal posts and through the ball went. 1 nil down. The crowd were furious. Frustrated to yet again be behind despite playing the stronger for the majority of the time. So many of these games have looked as though whoever socres first will indeed sit on the lead and win it. Tonight suddenly seemed no different. The confidence ebbs away and the team start to make basic errors and worse stand off from the play. Goal 2 was therefore inevitable. Our defence were left stranded at the half way line. Half time came with lots of boos as the team went off.

Half time is usually lively - lots of movement as people go for their teas and chips. Tonight it was just very quiet. Disbelieving that we were not one but two down. Worse, knowing that there were few possibilities for us to get back into this. Then Ronnie took Pouton off. WHY?! He was going for an attacking formation but none of our strikers seems to have that killer instinct. Give credit where it is due - Randolph was top drawer second half saving us from a 5 nil drubbing. 'Grent' Sanchos battled through the second half and we had a few glimmers of hope. But this division breeds several traits - time wasting esp goal keepers (Scunny's got booked 5 mins from time which frankly was too late) and wanton rolling about in agony or squatting as if winded to distract the play. Needless to say there were no injuries this evening just blatant time wasting.

So as the second half wore on the core fans in the Rainham End started up their chanting. 'We want Scally out, we want Scally out' and the ironic 'ITV Digital' - the key reason apparently why we are in so much debt. Who do you blame? The chairman? The division? The football leagues generally? SKY? At the end of the day I could not blame the team - they do play in good spells but they lack the ability to move it forward and be fearless in the area. Decisiveness in the box please lads! As for the other issues - the fans will probably never know the true depth of the problems at GFC - until possibly it is too late. I feel at once helpless and angry. At times the only way to get through a game like this is to laugh. But it really isn't that amusing. The future seems all too flimsy.

UTG.

Back to work..

Placebo - "Slave To The Wage"

Run away from all your boredom

Run away from all your whoredom and wave

Your worries, and cares, goodbye

All it takes is one decision

A lot of guts, a little vision to wave

Your worries, and cares goodbye

It's a maze for rats to try [x2]

It's a race, a race for rats

A race for rats to die

It's a race, a race for rats

A race for rats to die

Sick and tired of Maggie's farm

She's a bitch, with broken arms to wave

Your worries, and cares, goodbye

It's a maze for rats to try [x2]

It's a race, a race for rats

A race for rats to die

It's a race, a race for rats

A race for rats to die [x3]

Burn away

Run away [repeat]

You can run - but can you hide?

I miss

Mozzquito.