Week ahead...

Your Week Ahead starting Sat, May 29 - Love Focus: What use is enlightenment? Or wisdom? Or understanding? Why would any of us ever want these things when we can have arguments, dilemmas and doubts? There may be many things that you would like life to bring you, but there's only one thing you need. An insight that will make all the difference. Once you begin to appreciate something that has never made sense before, you'll feel better about every aspect of your situation. Then you'll see how a moment of clear understanding is worth more than any jewel, lottery win... or pyrrhic psychological victory. Life, this week, will bring you news you can use!

Capricorn

Here’s valuable breathing space, perfect for a re-assessment of long-term schemes and short term strategies. Saturn, your governor, is now stationary, offering you a commanding view of the last two years and the next. Decide what (and who) belongs to past and future. Try and be clear about what you are undertaking professionally, starting later this summer.
Pointless to postpone too many decisions: a fat Moon in Capricorn today and tomorrow pushes you onwards; good for brow-beating others into line as only you know how. No need to strong-arm your other half – make enjoying their charms, rather than their compliance, your aim.

Blue Monday

Just the sky to be honest... been a lovely day again. Temperature due to drop tomorrow. I have had a full on day. Morning strategy meeting. Lunch - ascend St Pauls. More meetings. A meeting with my Director. And then 6.15pm in a refreshing swimming pool for my 40 lengths. No singing this time - even though I did tell the life guard it had been restful last week. Shame. It is noce to get changed and not need 30 layers on! In fact today was my first day without a vest... suspect it will need be back on tomorrow.

Pasta and pesto for my tea.. feel slightly pink and ready for a good kip .... even more meetings tomorrow and my first experience in the new office building.. wooh!

Ooh and my match profile so popular today that they stopped sending me notification emails. LOL. Count how many oh yeah 3 views and you are popular... shame they never leave a message huh! Not logging on to the site until at least Wednesday though.. I'm way too busy!! LOL.

Oh yes and I must go via Trafalgar Sq en route home tomorrow to take some pix of the new installation on the plinth! It looks rather good...

Wembley... from St Pauls

It came to me as I sit here listening to England vs Mexico, who are dicing with death on the turf of the home of football, that but a short year ago I was on a high having watched Gillingham win the Play Off final... oh how things change in the space of a year... hmm. Or for that matter in the space of a week...

The Shard

London is an ever changing sky line... see how the Shard is rising at London Bridge...

Sunday 28th March (oh yeah the first date)

Today 24th May 2010...

The City I love...

There are several views I have been fortunate to soak up over the last few weeks... here are a few pictures... and a few memories to boot.

Today - a few of us from the office went up the 500+ steps to the top of St Pauls... more photos to follow...

This weekend I walked the 8 miles from Wimbledon Park to Richmond...this will appear in fuller detail on Kazza's Walks... its part of the Capital Ring walk don't you know!

Wimbledon Common - the windmill... obviously.

The River Thames at Richmond

And on Sunday April 18th I shared what I did not know at the time was to be my last date with Paul - and we saw the city from the splendour of Hampstead Heath...something I had always wanted to do with a special someone.. ah well...

The view

Still reeling

a bit from the Boy George programme last week.

And this afternoon watched the final Ashes to Ashes on the iPlayer. Not what I was expecting... hey ho.

Tonight.. Money. An adaptation of Martin Amis's novel.. give it a whirl...

As for my writing career - dipped out of that again this weekend.. what is up with me?! Need to make most of every moment and then waste them...Grr.

Oh yeah

This week and weekend was the fledgling start of the summer.

Oh boy. We Brits don't half struggle with our clothing choices as soon as the weather turns bright and warm... what is that all about?!

Some hide under a cardi and tights. Others just let the whole lot come out to play..

Me. Sensible blouse/tee and light weight linen trousers.. oh and sun cream for the nose! It's not cool to get burnt and my legs are soooo pale they could be mistaken for rugby posts... covered and safe. But cool...

In the safety of my four walls though.. anything is poss!

Another reason being a bloke is easy. T-shirt/shorts sorted!

Week ahead...

Capricorn

It must be a relief to find that when you stamp your foot at work, people pay attention and things happen. Capricorns are born to wield power, one way or another, and while not everyone is cut out to be a boss, you can still be a mover and shaker – especially now. Stay pushy. A little more circumspection around significant others might be needed – Venus in opposition for three weeks can signal a new crush passing your way, or an attack by the green-eyed monster. Be just.

Your Week Ahead starting Sat, May 22: 'If only you knew then what you know now.' You might have done some things very differently. Perhaps not as differently, though, as you might now be doing things, if only you knew what you are going to know soon! I'm saying this, not to worry you but to point out that you can't allow yourself to live in fear of how tomorrow's perspective may alter today's. This week's opposition of Saturn and Jupiter means you do have to stop and think. But only because something in your world could be about to change, dramatically for the better. If you're not allowing for this possibility, your plans are doing you a disservice.

Usually you’re adept at spotting what’s worthwhile and, often more important, potential pitfalls. So the rather surprising insights that accompany today’s challenging aspect by Jupiter to your ruler, Saturn, could come as a shock. If so, that’s timely, because with Uranus and Jupiter both moving to accent the structure of your life, and actually meeting on June 8, what and who you’re dealing with could be transformed beyond recognition.

Last week’s clash between your ruler Saturn and optimistic Jupiter, the planet of success, may have made it hard for you to see your way ahead. Slow down and do not overplay your hand. If you take each situation as it comes and trust your sense of timing, you will recognise the moment to take action.

There’s great potential in everyday routines, and that big plate of opportunity is about to be presented. Just be ready to grab it quickly. It’s all happening now, and you need to get ahead while you have the chance. Venus is on hand with extra help, and there’s no time for doubts or second thoughts. Use gut instinct to keep you on the right track.

From this week on, you may get that restless feeling encouraging you to think about moving. Uranus moves into Aries and your home zone temporarily, which is going to bring disruption to this area of your chart and to family affairs as a whole. This influence will also broaden your horizons and perhaps give you a powerful desire to roam. You might get the idea to journey around the world or live on a canal boat in France for a while.

8.15 already

I had great plans for today... to type of my farewell wander Friday pm (yes finally braced London Bridge Stn). Of sending bunches of joy to my loved ones friends/family over the weekend. Of the magnificent walk from Wimbledon to Richmond yesterday. Of feeling OK. But then Sunday kicked in and I lost the will to fight once more. So yet more fretting and re-living. When will it end? I guess when I move on.

Been having weird dreams about people from my past and people in my working periphery.

Spent most of the week just gone out drinking. Mixing with other people to be fair. But Sunday always ends up a solitary affair.

Did watch the MotoGP - which probably sparked the other stuff - I was fine on my 4 mile early morning stomp - The Archers keeping me satisfied. And why oh why does everyone seems to have the text message alert that I allocated to his messages. The ones I no longer get but still crave? Agh. Even the next door neighbours...

Well the Gills have a new manager and I have an intriguing day ahead tomorrow. There was talk of ascending St Paul's tomorrow at lunch if the weather is OK. And it will be my last week in 65... mm. A new chapter perhaps...

So now like a saddo that I am I shall check my horrorscopes for the week.. LOL.

So close to bloomin!

I said goodbye

Today

Based on the email I sent yesterday I realised I had reached the lowest point of frantically asking myself WHY...and getting just a wall of silence. Today I reckon I just about saw a motorbike and heard the name Paul without cowering into a hole of self doubt. Time to delete. As cold as that sounds. Time as they say to put it down to experience and move on.. as only I know how...

Dress code..

I wore a vest and sheer blouse today. Two cardinal sins on the same day...tsk tsk...

I think

my weekend has just been sorted for me!

Walk London weekend... great excuse to grab a camera - put on me MBT's and go explore with like minded individuals. Here's hoping the sun keep shining!

And so to Tuesday...

It's the 18th May - on the 18th April, a Sunday I was meeting Mr Y for the third time. A gibbering wreck, not wanting to ruin what we had got going. Ill prepared and unable to tackle the sensation of will it/can it? A month on I wonder if that's what fractured it or something deeper. I still don't know.

Made the mistake of re-reading our email exchanges last night. I still can't quite believe he was so sure he wanted it to end, after all the open and honest things we had shared. The unilateral decision is probably what hurts the most. My right to reply granted and then ignored.

So this morning wearing the blouse I wore that warm and pleasant Sunday I stride out in my new properly fitting suit and listening to Madge - bouncing and feeling pretty cool about myself. Start to believe. The pressure is off at work - boss off for a few days. Already had some tops emails from friends and with the weather lifting and warmth flooding back there is a part of me starting to let it go. Oh so slowly!

Meetings meetings meetings today.. busy. Independent - not alone.. stop the waking feeling of why am I alone taking me over again...

Deep breath. Another day. I am healthy, sort of wise and have everything to aim for.. just need to solidify what that it is!! ttfn

Karoona

Third download...

Well her live music keeps me bouncing and feeling sort of ok about myself again...

(My second downloaded album was Darwin Deez.. but that's another story)

Update: the live versions of Like a Virgin and Erotica ROCK!!

Swimmers hairdo!

Swimming

This evening was made moderately surreal by the life guard using the acoustics to sing as a warm up - Christmas carols and then as the evening progressed... songs from the musical Joseph and his amazing techni-coloured dream coat.. quite uplifting as it goes! The evening started oddly. Late phone calls and emails to sort before I could leave office. Then I kicked a cricket bail across the road. Tsk. We are world champions!

The pool was empty bar 3 synchro girls (which is what my colleagues had begged me to try earlier that day). But summer is here and the sun shines in - the pool looks all sparkly and inviting.. and until the human wave machine hurled himself in I could have been anywhere. 40 lengths later and its time to wash and dry and go. Hopefully tonight I will sleep OK.. no fitful dreams, aching anticipation for something that isn't going to happen again.

I leave my hair to dry Au Naturale and bop to Human League - Love Action; Tube. And as I surface three very telling songs. Lotus Eaters - The First Picture of You; Go West - We Close our Eyes; Kajagoogoo - Too Shy - well I treat the neighbours to that as I hang out my dampened swimming things. The sun and the clouds all look amazing this evening. The clouds really crazy and bold shapes... tops.

Home. Tea - soup n ryvitas and Eastenders and musical downloading. Now must be time for kip... eyes ache...

Karoona

Kids on the street!

Today - oh yes after years of walking to a shop and buying CD's and then ripping them to upload them to my MP3 - today in a freak of nature moment I purchased and downloaded music from the Internet!!

Wa-hey!

Now to upload it to my MP3.... mmm!

Marina and the Diamonds... sparked by the tune 'Obsessions'. Great vocal. The Family Jewels .. will let you know how I get on with the full album..!

This is/is this another occurence of immediate Britain. No waiting, minimal effort and instant gratification......can life really always be this good!? Vote here!!